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  1. VH Veteran jimmalenko's Avatar
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    A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says "a beer please, and one for the road."
    If in doubt, Google it.
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  2. VH Veteran jimmalenko's Avatar
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    Q: When a man comes out he comes out of the closet. Where does a woman come out from ?

    A: The liquor cabinet.
    If in doubt, Google it.
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  3. VH Veteran jimmalenko's Avatar
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    Q: How do you play safe chess ?

    A: Put a condom on the bishop.
    If in doubt, Google it.
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  4. Banned
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    Don't quit your day job. :P :P
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  5. VH Veteran jimmalenko's Avatar
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    Man in chinese restaurant: "This meat is rubbery!"
    Chinese waiter: "Frank you velly much!"
    If in doubt, Google it.
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  6. VH Veteran jimmalenko's Avatar
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    Q: What's brown and sticky ?

    A: A stick.
    If in doubt, Google it.
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  7. VH Veteran jimmalenko's Avatar
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    Q: What did one door say to the other door ?

    A: Pull your pants up - I can see your knob !
    If in doubt, Google it.
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  8. VH Veteran jimmalenko's Avatar
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    Q: Why did the anorexic chick kill her dog ?

    A: It kept trying to bury her in the backyard.
    If in doubt, Google it.
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  9. VH Veteran jimmalenko's Avatar
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    Q: why did the dog drown ?

    A: Because it was encased in cement.
    If in doubt, Google it.
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  10. Banned
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    The string says I'm a frayed knot.
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  11. VH Veteran jimmalenko's Avatar
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    Why did the little girl fall off her bike ?

    because someone threw a fridge at her.
    If in doubt, Google it.
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  12. VH Veteran jimmalenko's Avatar
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    What's the best thing about being a siamese twin ?

    You've got someone to kiss while you're wanking.
    If in doubt, Google it.
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  13. VH Veteran jimmalenko's Avatar
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    how do you make an orange juice itself ?

    play with its citrus.
    If in doubt, Google it.
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  14. VH Veteran jimmalenko's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by gitreel
    Don't quit your day job. :P :P
    never said they were funny.
    If in doubt, Google it.
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  15. VH Veteran jimmalenko's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Capmaster
    Why was "6" afraid of "7"?

    Because "7-8-9"
    yep, that qualifies
    If in doubt, Google it.
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  16. VH Veteran jimmalenko's Avatar
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    any more ?
    If in doubt, Google it.
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  17. Originally Posted by jimmalenko
    any more ?
    Is there an echo around here???
    "Terminated!" :firing:
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  18. Banned
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    Have you heard a mile or more bird?

    You can hear them a mile or more away.

    Bdm bm bsshhh.

    Thank you. Don't applaud, just send money.
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  19. VH Veteran jimmalenko's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by thayne
    Originally Posted by jimmalenko
    any more ?
    Is there an echo around here???
    echo
    If in doubt, Google it.
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  20. VH Veteran jimmalenko's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by gitreel
    Have you heard a mile or more bird?

    You can hear them a mile or more away.

    Bdm bm bsshhh.

    Thank you. Don't applaud, just send money.
    can't say I have.
    If in doubt, Google it.
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  21. Originally Posted by jimmalenko
    Originally Posted by thayne
    Originally Posted by jimmalenko
    any more ?
    Is there an echo around here???
    echo
    Funniest kid stories...
    "Terminated!" :firing:
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  22. Member Grimey's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by gitreel
    Don't applaud
    Ok
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  23. VH Veteran jimmalenko's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by thayne
    Originally Posted by jimmalenko
    Originally Posted by thayne
    Originally Posted by jimmalenko
    any more ?
    Is there an echo around here???
    echo
    Funniest kid stories...
    That's what I'm after. a little more detail though !
    If in doubt, Google it.
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  24. Q. Why do Ethiopians like venetian blinds so much?

    A. Yay, bunk beds.


    sorry if this offended anyone.

    Hatz
    Loves the funeral of hearts.....
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  25. Q. Whats the difference between a monster, a man, and cement.

    A. A monster is fake but a man is not.








    Then they ask......"what about the cement".

    You say......"oh I just threw that in there to make it hard"



    Hatz
    Loves the funeral of hearts.....
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  26. VH Veteran jimmalenko's Avatar
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    keep em coming ...
    If in doubt, Google it.
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  27. A nun is naked, washing herself in a bath. There is a knock at the
    door. Quickly she covers herself with a towel. "Who is it ?" she asks.
    "It's the Blind man" comes the reply. "Oh" she says and drops the
    towel. "You can come in then"

    The door opens and a man comes in.


    "Nice tits, where do want the Blind ?"
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  28. Lost Will Hay's Avatar
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    "........nice tits, where do want the blind?"
    Heard for the 28th time and still makes me spray my keyboard with my cuppa.
    W.
    tgpo, my real dad, told me to make a maximum of 5,806 posts on vcdhelp.com in one lifetime. So I have.
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  29. VH Veteran jimmalenko's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Will Hay
    "........nice tits, where do want the blind?"
    Heard for the 28th time and still makes me spray my keyboard with my cuppa.
    W.

    too true.
    If in doubt, Google it.
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