Chinese Translation

[Epi]

I have this chinese movie that is subbed and has a trailer on it, I can make out the speech somewhat but the words i can't read can someone please translate them for me. I would post them but my webspace provider is having issues. So PM or email me and I'll e-mail them to you, I would be really appreciative.

Thank You,
Epi

[jeex]

Learn Chinese in 5 minutes...
Learn Chinese in 5 minutes...(You MUST read them out loud)

1) That's not right ........................ Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive?............. Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP................................ Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man ............................... Dum Fuk
5) Small Horse .............................. Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beach? ................. Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table ............. Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift ............. Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here ................... Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet ............. Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone .................. No Pah King
12) Our meeting is scheduled for next week ... Wai Yu Kum Nao
13) Staying out of sight ..................... Lei Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile ............. Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive .............. Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great ................................... Fa Kin Su Pah

[Epi]

jeex,

Um.. Thanks I guess? I am being serious and I don't think jokes are what I was asking for.

- Epi

[MOVIEGEEK]

17)overweight prostitute........................Fat Ho
18)bovine excrement.............................Cao Dung
19)overpopulation................................. .Fuc m Yung
20)crap hits the fan................................Hu Phlung du
21)french kiss........................................Mao tse tung