RANT: The Christmas Party

[Doramius]

Last night was my Branch Christmas party. We could invite the whole family. There were games for all, dancing for the adults, and tons of different things going on.

There was a small child play area to place your kids in so you could dance for a little bit. So my wife takes him over and puts him in with a few other kids. My wife and I are dancing and having a good time when we quickly noticed My son has just pulled his pants down, and his diaper off. A DIRTY DIAPER. The shrimp went through him fast, cause man was it messy. We quickly stopped the dance and ran over to him in time to watch the diaper get flung into the dance floor. The floor wasn't too far away and my son has got a nice arm for throwing (as we've found out over the last 6 months). Parts of fecal matter fly through the air and spatter on an unsuspecting couple who then step on the diaper and look down with great shock.

My wife apologizes to the couple while running to a table to get my son's diaper bag. I grab my son under the shoulders and look for the bathroom. Here I am with a half naked & dirty little boy being held out from in front of me asking my boss where the bathrooms are. She points the way and I walk towards the bathrooms while I see my wife and the other couple heading for the same spot.

En Route, my little fountain of joy decides to spring a leak and empty his bladder on a couple more unsuspecting souls. The bathrooms were not very large, and not normally crowded, but last night they were well visited. Everyone allowed us to be the first ones in the bathroom and clean ourselves and our son up.

It was lucky it was near the end of the party, so it didn't spoil any of the festivities, but my boss come to me this morning and says, she's never had a larger laugh in all her life. She felt so bad for me and she wanted me to know she understood how embarassed we were and gave me 2 $50 gift certificates to Best Buy.

I guess I came out on top after all that came out of my son's bottom.

[Capmaster]

Moral of story: Don't feed little Doramius Jr. shrimp before putting him in an area with lots of other people

Flinging feces? Sounds like he's going to be the next jeex

[hech54]

Kids

Good Story...