Going out in style

[pacmania_2001]

With recent shit happening at my workplace I'm starting to seriously think that its time to call it quits. I've got to talk to my union tomorrow to see if they can help out but otherwise its pretty much goodbye.

Anyway, the point of this thread is to get some creative ideas on how I should go out with style. I have to give 2 weeks notice and during that period they can't fire me so I can pretty much do whatever I want.

So get started with the ideas. I work in retail by the way if that helps.

[Capmaster]

Come to work in the nude

[ViRaL1]

If you have a network I'm sure there are tons of great ideas. :P

On a lighter note, try prank calling someone from an empty cubicle or office so your name won't show up.

[pacmania_2001]

Unfortunately we don't have a network at our work. We still are running a DOS based retail program however I'm going to run a blank search on all the machines which should freeze them up for a few hours or days.

Keep em coming, except for Cap. :P

[Cobra]

On your last day, turn everything upside-down and glue it in place. Chairs, desks, everything on the desks, that old woman in reception...

[northcat_8]

You have to give 2 weeks notice??? Says who?

[ViRaL1]

They'll remember you if you kill someone.

[pacmania_2001]

You have to give 2 weeks notice??? Says who?

I don't have to give two weeks notice but if I want to recieve my payout from built-up holiday pay etc I have to give 2 weeks notice.

I don't mind it because it gives me two weeks to be a complete fuckhead to most of the management.

To help with the ideas I'll give my basic job description. The store I work for is like an Australian Walmart/big retail store. I work out on the trading floor for most of the day dealing with customers in person and over the phone. I also do checkouts sometimes.

[Cobra]

When a customer complains to you and basically treats you like a lower form of life, just tell them "I'm not paid enough to care." - see what they have to say about that!

[Guest]

Bang those 2 hotties in a changing room.Hmmm? You know that might be a perfect angle. Its just so wacky it might work.Suggesting a threesome is one thing,but at work?! They wont know if youre kidding or not.The seed is planted. Do this over some drinks while suggesting some of your other ideas.Plus they will know youre leaving which might speed things up.

[northcat_8]

Well first things first. Since we are just after the start of the new year, take all of your paid leave that you can, sick days, vacation, etc, etc.

I understand the 2 week pay thing, I tell you what I would do and have done.

I would just miss 2 weeks worth of work. Make something up, something like you have a sick grandma, ask for an unpaid leave, tell them you have to go somewhere far away...whatever, it doesn't matter.

Come in on your next payday, get your check <the 2 week backup> and say "I should be back monday" and don't come back.

[pacmania_2001]

Bang those 2 hotties in a changing room.Hmmm? You know that might be a perfect angle. Its just so wacky it might work.Suggesting a threesome is one thing,but at work?! They wont know if youre kidding or not.The seed is planted. Do this over some drinks while suggesting some of your other ideas.Plus they will know youre leaving which might speed things up.

I only found out yesterday that one of them had quit for the same reasons I'm going to so that rules her out. I did invite her down for a few drinks at my new place though.

The other one might still be a goer though hmmm.... 8)

I plan on abusing the hell out of any stupid customers during that time period as well.

[shelbyGT]

It would help if I knew what you did

[pacmania_2001]

Customer Service mainly in the Hardware department but also elsewhere for a retail store like Walmart.

[Forum Troll]

Buy a disposable cell phone.
Call in a bomb threat (make sure to disguise your voice).
Wipe all fingerprints off cell phone, and throw down a storm drain.

[pacmania_2001]

Buy a disposable cell phone.
Call in a bomb threat (make sure to disguise your voice).
Wipe all fingerprints off cell phone, and throw down a storm drain.

"in other news a Big W worker was tried today under anti-terrorism laws..."

[sacajaweeda]

I'm going to run a blank search on all the machines which should freeze them up for a few hours or days.

I can understand and even respect somebody wanting to 'get one over on the boss man' on the way out or whatever, especially if they have been seriously wronged or fucked over, but what is the point of screwing with a business's computer system? What if in the midst of your seemingly harmless prank something goes wrong and something unexpected happens and stuff actually gets un-recoverably damaged or lost through either your actions or theirs in response to whatever you've got in mind? That can only end up being something bad for you if they are able to trace it back to you. Have you been wronged by this employer to the point that something like that is a worthwhile risk to be taking?

Not trying to be a killjoy, but think it through and don't do anything stupid. The bomb threat suggestion is also not such a great idea either, IMHO.

MY $.02 (sometimes not worth even a penny)

[pacmania_2001]

A blank search doesn't do any harm to the actual computers.

It just does a search through a few hundred thousand items of stock that are in the database looking for a match on any of the criteria. Using the shitty piece of computers they give us it takes about 6 hours for it to happen.

[zzyzzx]

What makes you think they can't fire you in your last 2 weeks? I've seen it happen all the time.

[pacmania_2001]

According to industrial relations laws over here they can't fire you after you've given them two weeks notice.

It wouldn't bother me anyway, if they fire me during that period I still get my payout.

[JSB]

In my younger days, I used to work at a closeout store (Marcs is you live near/in Ohio). My best friend worked in isle 1... I worked in isle 7 and this girl we know worked in the cosmetics counter at the end on the store... isle 12.

So when some sucker was looking for something I would send them to isle 14... being that there was no 14, the chick in 12 would direct then to "isle 14" down by 1. My friend in 1 would direct them to isle 16.

JSB

[pacmania_2001]

We do a similar thing to people when they ring us by phone.

I'll get paged for a hardware call so I'll pick up and say something like "Toys, how can I help you" and they'll be like "I was actually after hardware" so I'll tell them that it was probably a mix up and I'll transfer them to hardware.

I then get my mate to answer the same call and say something along the lines of "Manchester, how can I help you". If they are still willing to be transfered after that you just send them to a few other departments.

Another good one we do is answer a customer telephone call with say a British accent then halfway through the call switch to a New Zealand accent.

[smearbrick1]

Another good one we do is answer a customer telephone call with say a British accent then halfway through the call switch to a New Zealand accent.

There's a difference?

[pacmania_2001]

One's whiny, the other can't pronouce the letter I.

[Doramius]

Stay late and wait for most of the workers to leave, then piss in all of the potted plants or trees.

You can also get a Coke from the breakroom vending machine and pour it all over the buttons.

Do a really convincing photochop of a manager in a VERY bad compromising S&M position and plater it everywhere.