Dieting Sucks!

[indolikaa]

I have known my doctor for over 15 years. I consider him to be part of my immediate family. And he has a sense of humor that rivals mine, and that includes his willingness to partake in any shameless prank he can weasel his way into. We have been going at each other for years, always looking to one-up the other guy.


After my annual physical this summer, I returned to find out the results. I also hoped that he could provide me with some meds to help mask what Helga the Destructor, R.N., did to my body. Pain sucks. So I'm sitting there on the bench, waiting patiently, and he walks in and says, "Indo, I have your test results in, and I'd just like to say up front that we have found a couple of problems."

"Are they serious?" I asked.

And on cue, two of his assistants wheel a small casket into the room.

Now you might think one would be absolutely furious and offended, but for once, my sharp wit was up to the task. It came to me in a flash of genius, and given the size of the casket (probably for an 8-10 year-old child) it was too perfect to let pass.

"That's not big enough for my penis."


"Victory is mine!" I proclaimed with great joy. But it was not mine for the taking. He one-up'd me in grand fashion.

He put me on a diet. And it sucks dog balls.

[Capmaster]

LMAO
Good one
(All three)

[menes777]

I'm on a seafood diet

[yoda313]

Hello,

Menes777 - so you eat whatever you see?? Bad pun if it is!

Kevin

[Capmaster]

Now that I reread Indo's post, a disturbing thought came to me. Anyone care to venture a guess what it was?

[menes777]

Actually, I see food, I eat it.

Which now that you put it that way is a little nasty what about food in the trash!

Of course since this is the OT forum, so I could change that to seapussy....

I will let everyone make their own judgements as to what that means....
But back on course, diets Suck!

[yalborap]

Ah, the great seapussy diet. I was on that one for a while, good fun.

[VCDHunter]

Now that I reread Indo's post, a disturbing thought came to me. Anyone care to venture a guess what it was?

Hell no - I'm still on medication from the last time we tried that

[DVD_Ripper]

I need to diet.... i quit smoking cigarettes 6 months ago... metobo slowed a bit and I started to munch away... my 40's are a tad tight... last time I lost 30 lbs by just eating salads every day with FF dressing.... gotta start that again.

[indolikaa]

Now that I reread Indo's post, a disturbing thought came to me. Anyone care to venture a guess what it was?

Helga the Destructor?

[Capmaster]

Now that I reread Indo's post, a disturbing thought came to me. Anyone care to venture a guess what it was?

Helga the Destructor?

That's another one. I was referring to the fact that your Dr.'s office keeps a coffin in the supply room

[yalborap]

Creepy.

Think he's a necro....necro...he fucks dead people?

[Capmaster]

Creepy.

Think he's a necro....necro...he fucks dead people?

Necrophiliac.

I was thinking more that his practice of medicine is such that coffins would even be needed as part of normal "supplies", like pens, paper, tongue depressors....

[yalborap]

....


Touche. That is definately creepier.

on the other hand, it's a CHILD coffin. What if he's a pedophile AND a necrophiliac?

[ViRaL1]

I guess they've already retired it, but T-Shirt Hell used to sell a shirt that said...

'Is it still pedophilia if the kid is dead?'

They get a lot of hate mail.

[Craig Tucker]

I am not surprised, that is totally sick, joke or not.

[Capmaster]

Shameless threadjacking, yalbo and viral

Let's not go in that direction

[ViRaL1]

...ducks

[indolikaa]

....


Touche. That is definately creepier.

on the other hand, it's a CHILD coffin. What if he's a pedophile AND a necrophiliac?

WAY out of bounds, Sir.

The 'casket' in question was a hack job, composed of some well-shaped cardboard and about six rolls of duct tape. The actual purpose of the joke was to ensure that I understood how important I should consider the forthcoming test results.

I don't know where your imagination has been lately, but ******* dead children had nothing to do with this story.

Thanks for the kind words.

[flaninacupboard]

There's a part of me that wants to make a good joke, but Indo seems pissed off already.

And i suppose the joke is wrong, rather than funny.

[indolikaa]

There's a part of me that wants to make a good joke, but Indo seems pissed off already.

When you're an EMT, they teach you everything about how to keep people alive and get them to the doctor, but you have to learn how to deal with those medical situations. Child abuse is the worst. No question about it.

[handyguy]

I would ask for a second opinion.

Second doc: You're too fat.

[yalborap]

people, it was just a joke! I'm not exactly a supporter of pedophiles(on the other hand, child on child sex I fully support. if they can handle it I say toss them a condom and let 'em go at it.), but it's still a goddamn joke!

And folks, always get a FAT docter's opinion when it comes to dieting.