Language: contradictions in wording

[northcat_8]

What I am looking for are things that are named opposite of their purpose or contradictory things like the following.

Why do we drive on parkways but park on driveways.

If drinking and driving is illegal, why do bars have parking lots.

All help would be appreciated.

[Cobra]

Why is it that petrol stations all sell alcohol at bargain prices?

Why do computers run Windows?

I can't think of anything proper just now, but it's an interesting question.

Cobra

[tgpo]

You mean just like oxymoron type things?

Why do stationary stores move?
Why does the 7-11 have locks on their doors when they are open 24-7-365?
WHY DOES SOUR CREAM HAVE AN EXPIRATION DATE?
AFTER THEY MAKE STYROFOAM, WHAT DO THEY SHIP IT IN?
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Have you ever heard someone say "That's the best thing since sliced bread"? Well, what was the best thing before sliced bread?

Why is it called a TV "set" if there's only one?

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?

Why is it whether you sit down or sit up, the results are the same?

Why is it called a "building" when it's already built?

Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?

How can you "draw a blank"?

Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllable"?

Why do 'tug' boats push their barges?

Why are stadium seating areas called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?

Why do 'slow down' and 'slow up' mean the same thing?

Why is it when two planes almost collide it's called a 'near miss'. Shouldn't it be called a 'near hit'?

Why are there Interstate Highways in Hawaii?

Why do light switches say on/off? When it's on you can see it's on, when it's off you can't see it to read it.

Why do 'fat chance' and 'slim chance' mean the same thing?

Ever notice that PRICE and WORTH mean about the same thing, but priceless and worthless are opposites?

Why is it when you transport something by car it's called a shipment, and when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?

[Ripper2860]

Plastic Glasses
Rush Hour Traffic
English China

[tekkieman]

...and don't forget

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

General oxymorons...

Jumbo shrimp
Military Intelligence
Microsoft Works
Windows security

[Guest]

Take a shit/piss

[Cobra]

WHY DOES SOUR CREAM HAVE AN EXPIRATION DATE?

That's another thing - mineral water. It's supposedly thousands of years old, comes out of this spring and expires about six months after purchase! Now that's timing - getting it out the ground just in time for it to somehow go off, even though it's only water!

[Craig Tucker]

Put things on top of each other.

They cant be on top of each other, one has to be on the top and one on the bottom.

[flaninacupboard]

Why do stationary stores move?

In the non-butchered version of your language stationery and stationary mean totally different things :P

[Keefkey]

You chop a tree down then chop it up

[indolikaa]

Central Intelligence Agency

Military Intelligence

Hey! Keep it civil, dude.

[tekkieman]

Central Intelligence Agency

Military Intelligence

Hey! Keep it civil, dude.

Army Reserve then Air Farce....I'm entitled!

[Treebeard]

Why are there brail dots on a drive-thru atm machine?

[flaninacupboard]

Why are there brail dots on a drive-thru atm machine?

I still can't believe you guys have drive-thru ATM's

[DVD_Ripper]

Why are toll roads called Freeways

[stiltman]

drive through liquor stores

[tekkieman]

drive through liquor stores

I loved that! In Texas, they had a drive through liquor and ammo store!

[Treebeard]

When you mail something.

travels by car its called a shipment, travels by ship its called cargo

[tekkieman]

When you mail something.

travels by car its called a shipment, travels by ship its called cargo

On June20, 2004

Why is it when you transport something by car it's called a shipment, and when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?

Sorry Treebeard.... -5 points for not reading the entire thread!

[housepig]

Why are there brail dots on a drive-thru atm machine?

my favorite is the sign in my local McDonalds... "Braille & Picture Menus Available".

if you need that sign, you can't read that sign...

[tekkieman]

Why are there brail dots on a drive-thru atm machine?

my favorite is the sign in my local McDonalds... "Braille & Picture Menus Available".

if you need that sign, you can't read that sign...

Now that is funny!

[Treebeard]

When you mail something.

travels by car its called a shipment, travels by ship its called cargo

On June20, 2004

Why is it when you transport something by car it's called a shipment, and when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?

Sorry Treebeard.... -5 points for not reading the entire thread!

I scrolled through, guess i missed that

[Keefkey]

A sign in an opticians read: Eyes tested while you wait!