To shag, or not to shag

[jimmalenko]

If you had the opportunity to shag someone, but they weren't exactly an oil painting, would you still shag them ? If so, what methods would you employ to help you overcome this ?

paper bag
turning off the lights
doing her doggie style

any others ?

[Rookie64]

Oil Painting

Well...if you look at some of those old paintings, you'll notice that a few women in them aren't exactly Playboy material


Just hope you don't have the hots for the Mona Lisa - last I heard it was revealed that da Vinci used himself to model for that...a computer detailed his features and they are a perfect match.

The Mona Lisa had always been a big mystery, 'cause no one ever knew of the model / who she was.

[thayne]

as long as she doesn't have bad teeth or smell bad, I'm on it

[jimmalenko]

as long as she doesn't have bad teeth or smell bad, I'm on it

Could you add some deodorant and toothpaste to your "tools of the trade" to overcome this ?

[thayne]

toothpaste won't help already bad teeth and shower would be better than deodorant alone...

[jimmalenko]

toothpaste won't help already bad teeth and shower would be better than deodorant alone...

good. I'm compiling a list so I can create a shagging toolkit to sell on EBay. It needs to cover the good, the bad and the downright putrid

[ViRaL1]

Throw in some Nair.

[northcat_8]

Bad teeth or no teeth?

I don't think I even need to vote in this poll.

Northcat's Theory

"Go ugly early, I've probably done worse and bragged about it to friends"

[jimmalenko]

A big fat yes for Nortcat.

I knew you'd shag anything with a pulse, but I wasn't sure about something without ?

[northcat_8]

Oddly enough Jimmy...I did date a girl whose father was a mortician. It was a strange scene...going over to her house which was the upstairs of the funeral home. Having to be quiet upstairs while there were services going on. Having sex while hearing a uligy was different. Also had relations in the funeral home but never in a casket...she wouldn't go for it.

It only took one time of me walking in on her dad preparing a body and that was it.

[zzyzzx]

You can always put a bag over her face or close your eyes and think of Britney Spears, etc.

[ViRaL1]

If she's a real freak, you can talk her into a leather mask.

[jimmalenko]

It only took one time of me walking in on her dad preparing a body and that was it.

What, was he lubing the rim ?

[ViRaL1]

Formaldehyde is an aphrodisiac.

[northcat_8]

No he was draining fluids or something, I didn't exactly stick around long enough to ask questions.

[pyrate83]

Under certain circumstances I probably would.

Horny...drunk...it may have been dark on that street corner that night.

[ViRaL1]

'Draining fluids?'

[rallynavvie]

My friends have told me to lower my standards since I end up having dry spells of several months, but then when I do find one I'm certainly not afraid to be seen in public with her. I think it pisses them off a little and they just want to see me with an ugly girl for once

I vote no, I'd have to take a real long dry spell before I give up on the cute women. I don't go after the gorgeous ones but you can tell when a woman may not be dressing up to show it off and that she'll look damn fine on the linen back home

[ViRaL1]

Nobody said date.

[northcat_8]

Rally...welcome to Northcat whore training 101.

When you go into a "wild life" exercise facility....pick out an ugly one, but not "jesus WTF happened to you" ugly...but not top of the line either.

Take her out to the car, back to her apartment, city park, wherever...do your thing. Then go back to the "Wild life" exercise facility and go for the top trophy.

That way, even if you strike out with the #1 chick, you still got some and if you land the Trophy Doe, then you get 2 in one night.

I'll be damned if I go hunting and not shoot something I'm not coming home empty handed.

[gitreel]

sure.

Turn off the lights

[Conquest10]

I'll just close my eyes and think Mishal Husain.

[gitreel]

You could also put a bag over her head.

[ViRaL1]

In all honesty, has anyone REALLY ever gotten a girl to go along with that? I mean if you really think about it, for every woman who gets the 'bag' option, there are several guys who'd forego the bag just to get some. Even THEY can afford to be selective, unless alcohol (or rufees) is involved.

[jimmalenko]

the consensus so far is that we'd all shag anything with a pulse

[ViRaL1]

Define 'pulse?'

[jimmalenko]

Define 'pulse?'

heart beating of its own accord and not due to any "injections of current".

[gitreel]

only if it is a human female. No animals

[tgpo]

How did you know I lent out my goods to others?

[Capmaster]

C'mon guys, we have to maintain some sort of dignity here. Look who I'm appealing to ....

I mean, the justification for making the beast with two backs with a mutant chick is ..."turn the lights out ...it's all the same". Well .....what about a sheep. Ugly for a human chick, but "all the right equipment".

Or ....road kill .....no harm, no foul since the damn thing is dead already.

Judging by the news stories the last few months, there have been a few men who have taken that leap of logic and "slammed nasties" with beast or fowl ...all in the name of "getting those bad boys off ....don't want blue balls after all".

Have some respect for yourselves. Have you forgotten the most loyal companion a man has ....Rosey. Or Dolly. Or Blowzo the clown. Whatever your tastes, you can find someone. And you don't have to apologize the next day to your friends for "bringin it on home" with some radiation mutant. Pussy ain't that good, if its owner looks like Danny Devito