RANT: Fatherhood

[Doramius]

Ah the joys of being a father. My wife gets picked up for work long before I have to leave, so I'm the one who gets our bundle of JOY (ENERGY for those of you who don't have kids) ready in the mornings. He's usually pretty good when I put him in his highchair to eat breakfast while I go take a shower. His chair is in the small foyer area by the front door. I now make sure the door is fully closed and locked, due to a recent incident where it wasn't closed all of the way that many of you already know of. This spot is on the linoleum so he can make a mess all he wants and all we have to do is sweep or mop it up easily.

Anyway, today I put him in his chair. He's known how to climb out of it for a while, but he usually just goes over to the TV to watch wiggles, JO-JO, Rolie Polie, etc. This morning I find him pulling the shower curtain open. I'm like, "Uh, Hi buddy?!" Then he shows dad a dirty little present in his hand. After realizing what it was, I grabbed his arm to hold him still and open the shower curtain with the other hand to get a better look at him. Now I gotta go search for the dirty diaper he pulled off somewhere that his dirty little present came from. I'm spotting a couple of scoot stains in areas on the rug and I say to myself, "My wife is taking a day off to have the carpets cleaned this time." I was not going to be there for the cleaning person this time. During this whole quick search I've got a messy boy in my arms screaming because I won't let him use his arm and I'm dripping tons of water all over the house. I figure, forget the diaper and get into the shower with my son and clean him off. I almost completely lose my balance in the bathroom due to the waterlevel on the floor I seemed to have dumped when I jumped out of the shower. When I get back in, with the water running this entire time of course, it's a little cold. I put the faucet to it's hottest level, which is now like regular room temperature because it was running for so long. I finally get us both cleaned up and dried off. I'm looking for some of my clothes when I realized the pants I laid out were gone. I found them carried into the family room with scoot marks in various areas. All my other clothes were fine, though. I decide to get the boy dressed first and then start cleaning and spraying as many of the marks he left behind that I could find. Mind you I'm doing all of this in the buff. I get him ready and put him back in his highchair and this time I stand there watching him while I finally get ready with a new pair of pants. I end up finding his dirty diaper in one of my work shoes. So now I'm at work wearing my VANS which are quite comfortable. The good part is my wife's been telling me I've been needing to get a new pair of work shoes for a few weeks. Now I have the reason to.

[DVD_Ripper]

Outstanding overview of what is a typical morning with the little muchkins. I am VERY thankful that my wife gets the three kids 'together' each morning as I am off to work at 6:30am. (Don't ever call me stupid... I leave for work at 6:30 for a few reasons... that's one of 'em)

How old is the little booger?

[Doramius]

he's 2 in october. He also is a Jr. So when he gets older and I, If I decide to, introduce him to videohelp.com he'll be Doramius2.

[tekkieman]

he's 2 in october. He also is a Jr. So when he gets older and I, If I decide to, introduce him to videohelp.com he'll be Doramius2.

Mines the same age. At least last night when she came into the living room twirling the diaper over her head, it was empty to begin with.

Yes, the joys of fatherhood.....

[DVD_Ripper]

he's 2 in october. He also is a Jr. So when he gets older and I, If I decide to, introduce him to videohelp.com he'll be Doramius2.

Thats great.... Maybe he'll take kindly to pottie training .... my daughter was very interested and, in about a week, was trained -- 2 1/2 yrs old... getting close for you... and what a freaking cost savings it is not to be pumping $20-30 a week on diapers....

Fatherhood is wonderful, challenging, painful, amusing, and down right loving (yea, I know I'm heading for the gay post of the day award)... .but it is ....

The only thing I can't figure out is the fighting -- over everything.... when I was outside a few weeks back the 4 yo and 2 yo fought over a piece of dog shit.... really, no kidding. I was cleaning the yard and commented... wow look at this (bugs or something... can't remember) anyhow they began to fight over who was gonna look first. Absofuckinglutely amazing.

[tekkieman]

he's 2 in october. He also is a Jr. So when he gets older and I, If I decide to, introduce him to videohelp.com he'll be Doramius2.

Thats great.... Maybe he'll take kindly to pottie training .... my daughter was very interested and, in about a week, was trained -- 2 1/2 yrs old... getting close for you... and what a freaking cost savings it is not to be pumping $20-30 a week on diapers....

Fatherhood is wonderful, challenging, painful, amusing, and down right loving (yea, I know I'm heading for the gay post of the day award)... .but it is ....

The only thing I can't figure out is the fighting -- over everything.... when I was outside a few weeks back the 4 yo and 2 yo fought over a piece of dog shit.... really, no kidding. I was cleaning the yard and commented... wow look at this (bugs or something... can't remember) anyhow they began to fight over who was gonna look first. Absofuckinglutely amazing.

Great! All we need is another post about shit! To add my contribution....

at 20 months, my daughter is starting the potty training. Problem is that she still asks to go after she has just went (I'm sure you know what I mean!).

[DVD_Ripper]

Uh Oh, Forgot about the two other shit threads .... just wait till you become fondly known as "Stupid Poopy Daddy" That has been my name on several occassions

[stiltman]

So that's what I have to look forward to? StiltmanII is only 4 1/2 months. He now has just learned that he has vocal cords and wants everyone to know that he knows

I got him all to myself tonight. I'm going to introduce him to the finer points of Sci-Fi shows and if he's really mellow, I may let him start playing with the computer keyboard...It's never too earlier to start him on the path of geekhood

[gitreel]

My son will be 3 in september.

[Doramius]

So that's what I have to look forward to? StiltmanII is only 4 1/2 months. He now has just learned that he has vocal cords and wants everyone to know that he knows

I got him all to myself tonight. I'm going to introduce him to the finer points of Sci-Fi shows and if he's really mellow, I may let him start playing with the computer keyboard...It's never too earlier to start him on the path of geekhood

I got a cheap $5 keyboard from a store to have my kid play with and an old ball mouse. I cut the cords off and removed the ball from the mouse, and he'll play with them just like daddy. I even give him coasters to play with. They keep him from grabbing at my blanks and good discs I've made. The problem is when he wants his keyboard & mouse while sitting in dad's lap while swinging them all over the place. It's a bit hard to do anything on the computer when he's like that, but he'll scream if I get off. That's when it's time to close everything and play good ole solitaire, hearts, or spades.

[adam]

My wife's got our first bun in the oven right now. I guess this is what I have to look forward to.

[tekkieman]

So that's what I have to look forward to? StiltmanII is only 4 1/2 months. He now has just learned that he has vocal cords and wants everyone to know that he knows

I got him all to myself tonight. I'm going to introduce him to the finer points of Sci-Fi shows and if he's really mellow, I may let him start playing with the computer keyboard...It's never too earlier to start him on the path of geekhood

I got a cheap $5 keyboard from a store to have my kid play with and an old ball mouse. I cut the cords off and removed the ball from the mouse, and he'll play with them just like daddy. I even give him coasters to play with. They keep him from grabbing at my blanks and good discs I've made. The problem is when he wants his keyboard & mouse while sitting in dad's lap while swinging them all over the place. It's a bit hard to do anything on the computer when he's like that, but he'll scream if I get off. That's when it's time to close everything and play good ole solitaire, hearts, or spades.

My always wants to sit on my desk and see herself on the webcam. While I was rebuilding after the trojan, when she would come in and ask to see "Yeeyee" (Lindy) on the webcam, I told her we couldn't because it was broke. Now when she comes in and wants Yeeyee while I'm working, and I tell her I can't right now, she says "bwoke".

Gotta love 'em!

[Doramius]

The thing that irks me though is, while we are trying to potty train him, he pulls his diaper off at random times (after pulling his pants of too), and then streaks the house christening random objects and furniture before I can catch him. He peed on the cat when she was asleep. My wife said, "serves her right for peeing in our room." because my wife had accidentally closed her in the room, unknowingly. It wasn't her fault, by it was on her side of the bed and she had a hard time sleeping with that strong amonia smell. This was a while before we got the carpets cleaned and one of the reasons why. I better set aside a carpet cleaning budjet each month while I'm thinking of it.

[tekkieman]

My wife's got our first bun in the oven right now. I guess this is what I have to look forward to.

Congrats adam! Good times ahead! Ok, some not so great ones too....

[stiltman]

My wife's got our first bun in the oven right now. I guess this is what I have to look forward to.

You'll be blessed...Best thing that's every happened to me and the Mrs.
I'm only 4 1/2 months into it, so it's still relatively easy from what I've been told.

I also that about 5 mins of video of him evey week, because the changes are amazing! from week to week.

[Doramius]

I can't get my kid to sit still for the video. All we get is the back of him, unless the Wiggles are on. I got my kid growing up right. His favorite shows are Thomas the tank engine, Rolie Polie Olie, The Wiggles, and Star Wars Clone Wars. He also likes the spider-man animated series.

[tekkieman]

adam & stilt -

Might want to look into the Baby Einstein series DVDs. We've had our child on them since birth, and they really do seem to stimulate the little mind. For the really young, I'd suggest the Baby Bach, Beethoven, and Mozart (lots of lights, motion, and colors with the music). Then move up to the Baby Doolittle, Galileo, Neptune, Van Gogh, and Newton.

By about two, they might not sit still for the whole thing anymore (20-30 mins each), but they're definitely worth it. Just wish they hadn't been bought by Disney!

[adam]

I had already planned on getting Baby Mozart. I heard great things about it and bought it for my step nephew who supposedly loves it. But I heard that the Bach and Beethoven ones were really bad. Do those two also keep your baby's interest?

I didn't know about the Einstein one. I will definitely get that one, thanks.

[stiltman]

adam & stilt -

Might want to look into the Baby Einstein series DVDs. We've had our child on them since birth, and they really do seem to stimulate the little mind. For the really young, I'd suggest the Baby Bach, Beethoven, and Mozart (lots of lights, motion, and colors with the music). Then move up to the Baby Doolittle, Galileo, Neptune, Van Gogh, and Newton.

By about two, they might not sit still for the whole thing anymore (20-30 mins each), but they're definitely worth it. Just wish they hadn't been bought by Disney!

Sister in law bought them already along with another set. Can't remember the other set's name, but they were put out by "Time Life" I think.

[tekkieman]

I had already planned on getting Baby Mozart. I heard great things about it and bought it for my step nephew who supposedly loves it. But I heard that the Bach and Beethoven ones were really bad. Do those two also keep your baby's interest?

I didn't know about the Einstein one. I will definitely get that one, thanks.

Beethoven is my daughter's favorite of the three right now. Granted, they're all just huge toy commercials, but the lights, sounds, motion, and colors keep them pretty entertained.

[zzyzzx]

I'll add your story to my long list of reasons not to have kids.

[DVD_Ripper]

The thing that irks me though is, while we are trying to potty train him, he pulls his diaper off at random times (after pulling his pants of too), and then streaks the house christening random objects and furniture before I can catch him. He peed on the cat when she was asleep.

He was christened or baptised right.....

[Doramius]

How else do you think he has the authority to baptize the cat? He's 'BLESSED' this house many-a-time.

[DVD_Ripper]

Great thread... and now, I know, I'm not alone in this horror we call parenting / fatherhood

Just shoot me now.

[tekkieman]

Great thread... and now, I know, I'm not alone in this horror we call parenting / fatherhood

Just shoot me now.

But just think, if we shoot you now, how much more you'll miss! I was thinking this last night as the daughter was scooping handfils of dirt out of one of the planters. After the third "LEAVE IT ALONE!!!", she just stood there (one hand still clutching dirt), and smiled at me. Being cute has saved this child many times.

[Doramius]

It's all worth it when for no reason while you're watching a race or a game, he comes up and sits on the sofa right next to you and cuddles into your side while pointing at the cars or the players. Or he puts down a toy and gives you a slobbery kiss and a hug on your leg for no reason and then goes back to playing with his toy. Awww.

"That's my boy!"

[tekkieman]

Or when they steal your ice cream when you step away, then hold up the spoon to give you a taste!

[DVD_Ripper]

Wonderful sentiments.

[flaninacupboard]

oh i see! cookery is for pussies but we can get teary eyed about slobbery children??

I'm looking forward to having children, i'd like to have one of each, or possibly two girls and a boy. there's just something about that father/daughter relationship that seems really special. i understand it only lasts until they're about twelve though, and then boys, make up, shopping and girlfriends ruin it all.

Now i just need to find a wife!

[DVD_Ripper]

i understand it only lasts until they're about twelve though, and then boys, make up, shopping and girlfriends ruin it all.

Yea... from 12 until their 20 you won't see her... then she'll buy house and she need a new toilet, sink, bathtub, carpet, deck, etc, etc, etc.... and that's were Dad comes in.