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  1. Master of Time & Space Capmaster's Avatar
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    Your mamma is so fat...

    when she dances, she makes the band skip.
    when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctors gave her 13 years to live.
    she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
    her ass has its own congressman.
    her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
    when she goes to the zoo, the elephants throw her peanuts.
    her high school graduation picture is an aerial photograph.
    her driver's license says, "Picture continued on back."
    the back of her neck looks like a pack of hotdogs.
    all of the restaurants in town have signs that say, "Maximum Occupancy:240 people OR your mamma."
    when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
    when she gets into an elevator, it HAS to go down.
    she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.
    she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.
    I had to take a train and two buses just to get on her good side.
    they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.
    her nickname is "DAAAAMN!"
    she has to iron her pants on the driveway.
    she's on BOTH sides of the family.
    she could sell shade.
    when she crosses the street, the cars look out for her.
    people jog around her for exercise.
    she gets runs in her jeans.
    her blood type is Ragu.
    when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.
    if she got her shoes shined, she'd have to take his word for it!
    she has to put her belt on with a boomerang.
    when she turns around people throw her a welcome back party.
    she can't even jump to a conclusion
    she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
    her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters.
    when she was walking down the street, I swerved to miss her and ran out of gas.
    it takes her two trips to haul ass.
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  2. Guest
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    hard to add to that list
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  3. Member
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    Apr 2004
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    New York City
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    What you say about my mama?
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  4. Master of Time & Space Capmaster's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by krazydl
    What you say about my mama?
    You momma's armpits be soooo hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock
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  5. Member northcat_8's Avatar
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    Mar 2003
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    Chit, IDK I'm following you
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    Your momma so fat...

    She sat on a dollar bill and made 4 quarters
    her toilet has a bench seat
    Jenny Craig gave her a group discount
    Her Nike Shocks are Monroe heavy duties

    If you put clown make up on her, capmaster would still do her...
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  6. Master of Time & Space Capmaster's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by northcat_8
    Your momma so fat...

    She sat on a dollar bill and made 4 quarters
    her toilet has a bench seat
    Jenny Craig gave her a group discount
    Her Nike Shocks are Monroe heavy duties

    If you put clown make up on her, capmaster would still do her...
    URRRGGGHHHMMMM (sound of salivating) ......pudgy female clowns .....
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  7. Yo' momma so nasty... she made Right Guard turn left!

    Cobra
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  8. Member
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    soddy-daisy
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    you gotta roll her in flour to find the wetspot.......
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  9. DVD Ninja budz's Avatar
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    Yo momma so fat when she goes to the Kentucky Fried Chicken she licks other peoples fingers....LMfAo! I think that's how it goes....
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  10. Member northcat_8's Avatar
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    Chit, IDK I'm following you
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    Sorry about the delay...I had to work for a minute...

    Your momma so fat....

    her ass looks like 2 white hogs fighting over a milk dud
    her bed is on a foundation
    her cereal bowl is a trough
    when I see her jogging I get motion sickness
    she uses a sheep for a tampon

    ....Grrrrr ....have to work again.....
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  11. Member Devanshu's Avatar
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    A friend of mine is obsessed w/ "your mamma" jokes so I've heard so many of these...

    Your mama is so fat...

    when she walked into burger king the guy at the regester said "can i take your orderS please?"
    when she puts on red everyone says "hey Koolaid"
    he went into outer space and clogged up a black hole
    when her beeper went off, people thought she was backing up
    she eats Wheat Thicks
    when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
    when she wore a shirt with an AA on it, people thought it was American Airlines biggest jet.
    she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller
    when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE
    she's got her own area code

    And my favorite...your mama is so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued
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  12. DVD Ninja budz's Avatar
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    And my favorite...your mama is so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued
    LMFAO!
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  13. Video Restorer lordsmurf's Avatar
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    dFAQ.us/lordsmurf
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    ... she wears the equator as a belt.
    Want my help? Ask here! (not via PM!)
    FAQs: Best Blank DiscsBest TBCsBest VCRs for captureRestore VHS
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  14. She breaks her leg and gravy comes out.
    If it's wet, drink it

    My DVD Collection
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  15. Member gooberguy's Avatar
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    May 2003
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    Every time she turns around its her birthday.
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  16. Member b1tchm4gn3t's Avatar
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    Your momma is so fat, when I got done DOIN her, I rolled over to get off her, rolled over again, and yet again, AND I WAS STILL ON THE BITCH!
    If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0
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  17. No Longer Mod tgpo's Avatar
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    Your mama so fat...

    she has to wake up in sections
    she brushes her teeth with crisco
    that dare devils perform shows where they jump her....none have survived
    she was a guest on Jerry Springer, but was the ony own who could fit on the stage
    she has more chins than China Town
    when she goes to the beach, she's the only own who gets a tan
    She uses Lake Erie as a water bed
    she fought Godzilla in the third sequel
    she farted and a slab of cow shot out
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  18. Your momma's so fat that when you finally get on top of her your ears pop!

    Your momma's so fat she got to wear two watches 'cause she covers two time zones!
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  19. No Longer Mod tgpo's Avatar
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    Your mamma so fat...

    ...Colonial bread is no longer in the Guiness Book of World Records for producing the most rolls, your mamma is now number 1
    ...she could feed all of America with the cottege cheese in her thighs
    ...when she gave birth sixteen 20 year olds walked out
    ...when her water broke it flooded the city
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  20. Member
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    Originally Posted by Capmaster
    Originally Posted by krazydl
    What you say about my mama?
    You momma's armpits be soooo hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock
    Hell no u didn't!
    Yo mama so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection looks back and shakes its head :P
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  21. Master of Time & Space Capmaster's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by krazydl
    Originally Posted by Capmaster
    Originally Posted by krazydl
    What you say about my mama?
    You momma's armpits be soooo hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock
    Hell no u didn't!
    Yo mama so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection looks back and shakes its head :P
    Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, they
    put her in an incubator with tinted windows.
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  22. Member
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    Originally Posted by Capmaster
    Originally Posted by krazydl
    Originally Posted by Capmaster
    Originally Posted by krazydl
    What you say about my mama?
    You momma's armpits be soooo hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock
    Hell no u didn't!
    Yo mama so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection looks back and shakes its head :P
    Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, they
    put her in an incubator with tinted windows.
    Yo mama so ugly, when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras
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  23. Master of Time & Space Capmaster's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by krazydl
    Originally Posted by Capmaster
    Originally Posted by krazydl
    Originally Posted by Capmaster
    Originally Posted by krazydl
    What you say about my mama?
    You momma's armpits be soooo hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock
    Hell no u didn't!
    Yo mama so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection looks back and shakes its head :P
    Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, they
    put her in an incubator with tinted windows.
    Yo mama so ugly, when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras
    LMAO
    Yo mama's so fat she jumped off the Grand Canyon and got stuck
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  24. Member
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    Originally Posted by Capmaster
    Originally Posted by krazydl
    Originally Posted by Capmaster
    Originally Posted by krazydl
    Originally Posted by Capmaster
    Originally Posted by krazydl
    What you say about my mama?
    You momma's armpits be soooo hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock
    Hell no u didn't!
    Yo mama so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection looks back and shakes its head :P
    Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, they
    put her in an incubator with tinted windows.
    Yo mama so ugly, when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras
    LMAO
    Yo mama's so fat she jumped off the Grand Canyon and got stuck
    aight! let's stop here. it is gettin' too long.
    .....just one more,
    Yo momma so fat I've known her all my life ... and I still haven't seen ALL of her!
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