Help me get a good grade*

[Anonymoususer]

I have to write an essay for my Government Honors class on Either pros and cons of Capital Punishment and did it on pros. But I can't find anyone except for my english teacher to grade my essay and that is tommorrow...so if anyone would like to help me further better my essay it would be really appreciated...




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Capital Punishment, also defined as the death penalty has been banned in 108 countries, but many including the Unites States still continue to practice this age-old method of punishment. Nevertheless there have been many debates mainly comprised of the pros and cons as to the condemnation of the death penalty. Many viewpoints have been debated, still there does not seem to be a close to this widely argued and hot topic. I am in favor of capital punishment mainly due to the reason “an eye for an eye”, capital punishment maximizes public safety through deterrence and disqualifying of criminals, imprisoning someone and providing them with the basic necessities is a waste of taxpayer’s money.

The saying “eye for an eye” has been used for many examples, including capital punishment. In my opinion it is a valid and accurate explanation of a person who commits a murder and takes someone else’s life consequently his life should be taken away as well. Logically capital punishment needs to be retained because it serves justice to the victims and their families. Many people disagree with this due to moral, religious and ethical reasons. Many religions consider capital punishment wrong because they believe God will judge them in the end; morally and ethically it is considered wrong because our society is brought up that way. It is a very simple concept that many people fail to grasp.

Second reason for capital punishment to continue is because it maximizes public safety through disqualifying and deterrence of criminals. If a person commits a murder and is not sentenced to death he or she still has another chance of committing the same crime. Nevertheless if the death sentence had been issued it would have eliminated the criminal in the first place; there wouldn’t have been loss of another innocent life, sadness and the tarnishing of a family. In addition by issuing death sentences and removing criminals, our society is better guarded and knows that there can be no harm done by that particular individual.


The general public believes that executions are cost effective and a better solution to imprisoning someone for life. But in fact an execution costs a lot more then imprisoning someone for life. Imprisoning someone and providing them with the basic necessities is a waste of taxpayer’s money and in my opinion an execution even though costs a lot more would be considered the best and alternative solution to the problem. The main reason being that it gets the job done. It rids the society of the criminal instead of keeping the person safe in jail and providing him or her the chance to commit another crime even in jail or after the sentence is served. The money that is used on the criminals for imprisonment and providing him or her with the basic necessities could be better utilized on homeless people, providing funds, charities, and mainly used on more areas of development.


In spite of the reasons “an eye for an eye”, maximizing of public safety through deterrence and disqualifying of criminals, imprisoning someone and providing them with the basic necessities is a waste of taxpayer’s money, there are also convincing arguments that are against capital punishment. Over the years this topic has been pondered and argued over numerous times yet there has not been a concluding and final decision made as to whether or not capital punishment should or should not stay. So far it doesn’t seem as if the decision will be made soon, but hopefully people will be for it. Now it is in the hands of the future generations to decide…

[galactica]

seems a bit short for an HONORS class!

where's your references?
I see no clearly defined thesis
surely you have to have more than 2 paragraphs
intro
body
conclusion

at the min. 3 paragraphs

sorry for being anal but english comp was one of my strong points.
otherwise some gramatical errors, but i dont have time to sit and correct those!

[Tommyknocker]

I see no data in your paper to support your arguments, and the last sentence is a blatant lie. I also noticed good sentence structure with smooth transitions. Your writing is articulate and and your essay is
well-written.

[Anonymoususer]

Actually it is 5 paragraphs... I just didn't space them write, it's actually 3 pages with double spacing...Yeaa..I really should fix the last sentence....So out of a 6 what do you think I could probably get...What do you mean by I see no data to support your arguments..I thought I was pretty specific as to clarifying my points...

[jeex]

wow.. that is pretty bad for an honors class.. C- at best..

scrap the whole thing and start over.. maybe you should give the "cons" a shot..

[Anonymoususer]

Damn what's soo bad about it...?what's wrong with it ? or are you just messing with me...?

[BJ_M]

Capital Punishment, also defined as the death penalty has been banned in 108 countries, but many*(many what) including the Unites States still continue to practice this age-old* (how old and from what reference and where praticed) method of punishment. Nevertheless*(redundent word) there have been many* debates *mainly comprised*(grammer) of the pros and cons as to*(of the) the condemnation of the death penalty. Many viewpoints have been debated*(where what when), still there does not seem to be a close to this widely argued and hot topic*(repeated again). I am in favor of capital punishment mainly due to the reason “an eye for an eye”*(end of sentence and should be in different location - your feeling is the reason for this paper or is the reason for this paper other peoples/countries stand on this subject), capital punishment maximizes public safety through deterrence and disqualifying of criminals*(source of this statement? is this proven (it's not but thats besides the point), imprisoning someone and providing them with the basic necessities is a waste of taxpayer’s money*(your beliefs/opinion or a proven fact? if fact - list source).

The saying “eye for an eye” has been used for many examples*(give some examples), including capital punishment. In my opinion it is a valid and accurate explanation of a person*(grammer - try "description") who commits a murder and takes someone else’s life consequently his life should be taken away as well*(there is capital punishment for other crimes other than murder - such as spying and desertion). Logically*(who's logic?) capital punishment needs to be retained because it serves justice to the victims and their families. Many people disagree with this due to moral, religious and ethical reasons. Many religions consider capital punishment wrong because they believe God will judge them in the end*(not exactly true - there are other resons as well); morally and ethically it*("it" refers to what ? murder or capital punishment?) is considered wrong because our society is brought up that way*(what about societies where they were not brought up this way - rather more common in fact) . It is a very simple concept that many people fail to grasp*(what concept are you introducing here?).

Second reason*(what was first reason - is this the purpose now for this paper ? reasons for capital punishment to continue?) for capital punishment to continue is because it maximizes public safety through disqualifying and deterrence of criminals*(better list some sources for these facts as it sounds like an opnion) . If a person commits a murder and is not sentenced to death he or she still has another chance of committing the same crime*(statisically not proven - better have something to back that up as it isnt true) . Nevertheless if the death sentence had been issued it would have eliminated the criminal in the first place; there wouldn’t have been loss of another innocent life, sadness and the tarnishing*(tarnishing whose family?) of a family. In addition*(addition to what?) by issuing death sentences and removing criminals, our society is better guarded*(statisticly the oppisite as the majority of people on death row are crimes of passion and "one offs" - true that may do it again though) and knows that there can be no harm done by that particular individual*(to long a sentance, but true , if you hang them they will not trouble you again).


The general public believes*(source?) that executions are cost effective and a better solution to imprisoning someone for life. But in fact an execution costs a lot more then imprisoning someone for life*(true but sources?). Imprisoning someone and providing them with the basic necessities is a waste of taxpayer’s money and in my opinion*(whole sentence is an opinion so rework layout) an execution even though costs a lot more would be considered the best and alternative*(grammer) solution to the problem. The main reason being that*(grammer) it gets the job done. It rids the society of the criminal instead of keeping the person safe in jail*(are you safe in jail?) and providing him or her the chance to commit another crime even in jail*(people on death row have done further crimes many times) or after the sentence is served*(after a life sentence - is there stat's for this?). The money that is used on the criminals for imprisonment and providing him or her with the basic necessities could be better utilized on homeless people, providing funds, charities, and mainly used on more areas of development*(you said first that this was cheaper than capital punishment - so are you saying spend more on capitral punishment and less on homeless? or are you saying do not provide criminals with nessessities of life (which is non-constitutional in usa as cruel and unussual punishment - unless you are held as a possable terrorist subject, then you seem to have no rights (good or bad)).


In spite of the reasons “an eye for an eye”*(grammer), maximizing of public safety through deterrence and disqualifying*(wrong word , try to find a better statement) of criminals, imprisoning someone and providing them with the basic necessities*(repeated) is a waste of taxpayer’s money*(repeated argument), there are also convincing arguments that are against capital punishment*(and these are?). Over the years this topic has been pondered and argued over numerous times*(source?) yet there has not been a concluding and final decision made as to whether or not capital punishment should or should not stay*(it has been settled in the usa and most other countries - either for or against). So far it doesn’t seem as if the decision will be made soon*(what decision? - so you mean morally or in your own heart? because its the law in the usa already since 1976), but hopefully people will be for it. Now it is in the hands of the future generations to decide*(why? -- its already law as pointed out before, and its not an active debate in any of the group of 7 or group or 12 countries (major powers) that i could find (i may be wrong). It MAY be fought against in court for some cases - on a case by case basis only- )…




i made some notes above marked thus *( notes ) ... This is how it would be marked in a High School Advanced English Lit. class (8th or 9th grade level) .. hope this helps some, I was real good at this stuff (but can not spell worth beans still) ...

[Devanshu]

Sorry, but I also agree w/ the previous posters. Off the top of my head, I see several ways to fix this.

1. SUPPORT. Do a little research into the topic and see what you can find. Go into the cases that obviously deserved the death penalty and why(such as timothy mcvey(sp?), etc.).
2. Grammar...no way around it. There are several places that need commas that dont have them, and then there are several places that have the comma and other punctuation but dont need them.
3.

maybe you should give the "cons" a shot..

Hope that helps.

[galactica]

for me I balk at a paper that doesnt have refrences
QUOTES from other sources on the subject

papers for class are really just summaries of LOTS of already written topics with your own spin on things

for an HONORS class, i woudl expect at least 5 references, bibliography and the correct MLA notations though the text.

most of this sounds good, but it seems to be too general and lacks actual factual references

again just my opinion
if your in an honors program, you should prove it!

[g_shocker182]

To add to the top suggestions:

1.) Convert your paper to 5 paragraph or more format which is considered standard for AP essays
2.) Use parenthetical citations. This will impress your teacher if it is not required and will definitly put your paper above the rest.
3.) Use of commas :

Capital Punishment, also defined as the death penalty has been banned....

Change to:

Capital Punishment, also defined as the death penalty, has been banned....

4.) Make gramatical corrections:
Corrected first sentence(s).

Capital Punishment, also defined as the death penalty, has been banned in 108 countries. Still, many nations like the United States continue to practice this age-old method of punishment to this day.

[gmatov]

Can you type a little more accurately, with correct spelling?

Hell, even in your rebuttals to why I don't have a good paper, you misspell. Clean it up, man.

Spelling is not that difficult. Well, maybe for today's young, it is.

Other than that, I think capital punishment is a deterrent, only to the extent that that particular animal will not do it again.

To take a life is not an easy thing to do. One who has, has no compunction to not do it again. It is the equivalent of a sheep eating dog. They have the taste of blood; you will not cure them of it.

Go a little deeper into this.3 or 5 paragraphs are not enough to know what you, yourself, think. Too simplistic.

Cheers,

George

[Anonymoususer]

DAMN...that is some serious criticism, I like that... very helpful, grammer is my weak point...but I try my best...spelling is not..as stated above by someone...but I will fix it soon...keep the criticism coming... 8)

[Cobra]

At least your apostrophes aren't misused.

DVD's......
VCR's......
VCD's.....

It's a DAMNED PLURAL!

An angry CobraDMX

[SLK001]

Actually it is 5 paragraphs... I just didn't space them write, it's actually 3 pages with double spacing...Yeaa..I really should fix the last sentence....So out of a 6 what do you think I could probably get...What do you mean by I see no data to support your arguments..I thought I was pretty specific as to clarifying my points...

"I just didn't space them write..." How do you space something "write". Don't you mean "right", or "correctly"?

[BJ_M]

it is all a moot point, as i believe he has turned in his paper.

now we need a poll on the final grade (proof required) ...