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  1. Serene Savage Shadowmistress's Avatar
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    Mar 2004
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    If Abbott and Costello were still around today their famous sketch "Who's on first?" might have turned out something like this....

    Costello calls Abbott to purchase a computer . . .
    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
    COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
    ABBOTT: Mac?
    COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
    ABBOTT: Your computer?
    COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
    ABBOTT: Mac?
    COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
    ABBOTT: What about Windows?
    COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
    ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
    COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?
    ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
    COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
    ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
    COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?
    ABBOTT: Office.
    COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
    ABBOTT: I just did.
    COSTELLO: You just did what?
    ABBOTT: Recommend something.
    COSTELLO: You recommended something?
    ABBOTT: Yes.
    COSTELLO: For my office?
    ABBOTT: Yes.
    COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
    ABBOTT: Office.
    COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
    ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
    COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, lets just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
    ABBOTT: Word.
    COSTELLO: What word?
    ABBOTT: Word in Office.
    COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
    ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
    COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
    ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
    COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the internet?
    ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.
    COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need!
    ABBOTT: Real One.
    COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I watch them?
    ABBOTT: Of course.
    COSTELLO: Great! With what?
    ABBOTT: Real One.
    COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
    ABBOTT: You click the blue "1".
    COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
    ABBOTT: The blue "1".
    COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?
    ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.
    COSTELLO: What word?
    ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
    COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows"!
    ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
    COSTELLO: It is?
    ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.
    COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
    ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.
    COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
    ABBOTT: Money.
    COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
    ABBOTT: Money.
    COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
    ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer
    COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
    ABBOTT: Money.
    COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
    ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
    COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
    ABBOTT: One copy.
    COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
    ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.
    COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
    ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
    A FEW DAYS LATER . .
    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
    COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
    ABBOTT: Click on "START"..........

  2. Член BJ_M's Avatar
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    Jul 2002
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    Canada
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    very good !
    "Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems." - Rene Descartes (1596-1650)

  3. LMAO

  4. Video Restorer lordsmurf's Avatar
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    Jun 2003
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    LMAO!

    Sadly,
    if A&C were alive today, they'd be unemployed. Why? Because most people these days don't appreciate good humor, instead preferring the most debased of topics. Some people would actually not find that skit funny, which is just sad.
    Want my help? Ask here! (not via PM!)
    FAQs: Best Blank DiscsBest TBCsBest VCRs for captureRestore VHS

  5. Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
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    GEORGIA US
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    ShadowMistress

    Keep them coming! You have cracked me up these past few days, Thanks!
    IS IT SUPPOSED TO SMOKE LIKE THAT?

  6. Aging Slowly Bodyslide's Avatar
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    Feb 2002
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    A Different Timeline
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    That was funny as hell....:-0

  7. Would be great if they were still around I liked those two.

  8. where do you get em???

  9. Serene Savage Shadowmistress's Avatar
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    Mar 2004
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    Controlled Chaos
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    I've posted more jokes at the pub.

    (Click the rose in my sig pic for the link.)

  10. Mate, Abbot and Costello are alive, and continuing their comedy routine,

    They are both part of the Australian Federal Government, Costello is the treasurer, and Abbot is the Minister for Health, and believe me it is the same old inept slapstick routine!

    NO POLITICS

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