My wife past away Oct 3rd 2012 at 2:15PM

[lacywest]

My wife past away Oct 3rd 2012 at 2:15PM

September 27 2012 ... My wife and I ... we went to Walmart that evening bought a few things ... hair color for her hair ... cat food for my cat Blackie and a few other items ... 24 pack of Cola ... etc ... etc.

I had just colored her hair myself about a week before and she wasn't really sure if she liked how dark it looked but I thought it looked nice.

Her daughter ... and her son ... lives with us ... tells her mom it looks nice and will probably lighten up in a few days.

When we got home from Walmart ... we started watching the new episode of ... Person of Interest and the new show ... Last Resort.

We even had a bowl of ice cream each.

We went to bed ... with the lights out ... I reached over and put my hand on her waist and kissed her on her right shoulder and said to her ... "Good Night ... Margie"

She fell asleep before I did.

At around 8 AM ... I found myself awake ... Margie is awake ... I sit up in bed ... confused.

Suddenly ... Margie says ... OH GOD GARY ... Something is wrong !!

I start to freak out ... NO NO NO ... this can't be happening !!

She like stiffened up ... and said it again ... OH GOD GARY ... Something is wrong !!

Margie is scared ... I can hear it in her voice ... her facial expressions ... she is scared !!

I immediately put my sweat pants on ... went out the door ... banged on Cassandra's bedroom door and went after the kitchen phone and called 911

Cassandra got into the bedroom and Margie called out her name ... "Cassandra" ...

I asked CaSandra if Margie said anything to her ... CaSandra said ... Mom said to me "I don't know what is happening to me" ... that was Margie's last words she ever spoke.

I'm on the phone and the 911 operator has called the ambulance and is having me check for vital signs ... is she breathing ? ... Yes she is breathing.

Try and lay her over on her side ...

How often is she breathing ...

By then her eyes are shut ... she is breathing ... Ambulance arrives

I start moving the furniture out of the way in the living room and the hallway ... I get back into the bedroom ... they tell me she had a seizure.

They transport her to the hospital in our town

When we go in to see her in the emergency room ... they are treating her ... I got hopes because she sneezed 3 times ... while putting on a oxygen mask.

They have to incubate her ... they do a CAT SCAN ... they tell us she has had a stroke in her Brain Stem.

A Helicopter takes her to Fresno Community Hospital ... next to Highway 41 in Fresno CA.

Hours later ... she is transferred to Intensive Care ... it's late Friday September 28 2012

On Sunday the doctors tells us we need to get her family here quick as soon as possible. Margie's sons live in Washington in the Prosser ... Connell ... Pasco area.

Margie has three sons and one daughter ... Cassandra is staying with me.

During these days going by ... I could tickle the bottom of her feet and her leg would pull back ... I thought that was a good thing ... but that is a nerve response from her spinal column ... if I tickle her hands ... nothing.

I got my hopes up ... when I would say to her ... close up ... "Margie ... come on Margie lets go ... your missing the Bill O'Reilly show. Bandit and Betty want to see you ... they miss you. Margie's heart rate would rise from 95 Beats to 111 Beats.

Tuesday October 2nd 2012 ... All the family is there ... we have a conference and it was decided to disconnect her

And on October 2nd 2012 ... at ... 2:15 PM ... we all go into her room ... I'm next to her bed and the tubes in her mouth are gone ... she is warm ... I look up at the screens ... the numbers and readouts don't look right and I realized ... Margie is not alive ... she is not breathing .. I started crying and crying and crying. I'm holding her hand ... I'm carressing her neck and shoulders ... I'm touching her cheek.

Margie's daughter ... Cassandra ... starts crying too. I look up at her. She is on the other side of the bed.

Finally ... all her family walks out of the room and Mike stays behind ... he was one of our Best Men at our wedding ... October 15th 2005.

I hold her hand some more ... touch her cheek some more ... and Mike and I ... we leave Margie's room.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
October 6th 2012 ... Saturday ... 8:38 PM

Please respect me ... Margie was the nicest woman companion ... and Wife ... A man could have.

It will be my Birthday October 16 ... I'll be 60 ... Margie would have been 70 in December.

Margie's daughter ... Cassandra ... has lived with us and her son since July 2007.

Her son is a Senior in High School and they are going to stay with me ... so that Steven can graduate from High School.

All of her brothers and family ... went back to Washington.

It's just ... Cassandra and Steven and me ... living here now.

Margie's two Pug dogs and Chewie and Snoopy and my cat Blackie. Snoopy took to Cassandra. Cassandra has about 4 cats that she looks after. At this moment ... Bandit and Betty are at my feet ... well Bandit was here ... he left just now ... but Betty is next to me.

I am doing all the things that I know about ... I'm letting my friends and my family know I'm okay.

My Daughter ... Diane is calling everyday ... she is taking the next week off to help me.

I need to notify the Social Security Office.

I have been advised to contact VA services and see if they can help [I served in the USAF ... 71 - 75 and the Fresno Air National Guard for 7 years]

Diane is going to help me arrange a Car Wash ... we are having financial problems. When we finally figure out how to pay for Margie's funeral arrangements ... she will be cremated.

Tentatively speaking ... Her family will come back in November and we will take a trip over to ... Pismo Beach ... Morro Bay or Avila Beach and spread her ashes at sea ... Margie and I ... we were planing to go to Pismo Beach and Solvang [a Danish town] when I turned 62 and I started getting Social Security.

A lot of you ... you have read my posts ... and I really do try to help the folks here ... find a solution ... I am a caring person.

To find out more about me and please respect me ... here is my FaceBook link.

http://www.facebook.com/Mach1016#!/Mach1016 ... that is me ... Gary Hill ... on the rock and that is Margie ... with her cute smile.

I posted this video on YouTube ... to help remember Margie ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cNSPyUJQ8s&list=UL

[lordsmurf]

I'm replying because it feels like the right thing to do. But I don't really know what to say. I never really do in these situation. Just a feeling of sadness.

I'm glad that you have family around you right now. That's what you need right now.

Take care of yourself.

[robjv1]

I'm very sorry. What a terrifying and sad ordeal. I hope you are able to get the support you need to get through this.

[lacywest]

Thank you ... Lordsmurf ... we've been here a long time and I've always found what you have to say interesting.

Thank you ... robjv1 ... I've been a member here for 11 years at least ... and I believe I've met more people here than anywhere else.

I ... in the pass ... never thought I would provide this much information about myself ... to this website .... we all got by just staying anonymous ... but I am reaching out and I need support from all different directions.

I post my stuff on FaceBook with ... Public mostly ... you are welcome to look and add me as a friend ...

Normally ... I would use happy smiles and sad smiles ... but for this topic ... I wont. I will use them when I'm ... talking ... video cards ... PC talk. And even then it will be hard.

Sincerely ... Lacywest

[Baldrick]

Very sad news. I also never know what to say. I guess I just don't want think about losing someone close.


Be with your family now and let others help you for a change.

[stiltman]

My heart goes out to you and your family.

[lacywest]

Thank you ... everybody ...

If you can do it and can afford it ... make sure you have an arrangement for your family ... that can take care of Funeral Arrangements

My daughter is seeing everything I'm going through and she is going make arrangements so that her children and her husband ... She doesn't want them to go through what she is seeing me go through.

Our bill is $2000 dollars and I'm worried on how that will be taken care of this bill.

And make sure ... YOU ... have a Life Insurance Policy ... that can take care of your wife and family.

The Winter of 2007 -- 2008 - We started having problems with making the payment on the house and Margie in May 2008 used a Reverse Mortgage to solve the problem but a person can only do it if they are 62 and over ... and I'm 10 years younger than Margie ... I could not be included on the policy.

The Bank ... has been informed and ... Cassandra and Steven and I ... we were told we have 6 months to live here.

[lacywest]

Update news ... one person has called and let me know ... $1000 dollars has been donated. We have car washes scheduled ... starting this coming Friday.

[budwzr]

I thought Obama and the Fed fixed everything, so this couldn't happen anymore? Sad. Glad you had insurance, that was smart thinking.

Best Wishes going forward.

[lacywest]

I guess ... I didn't word my words correctly ... There is no Life Insurance ... no burial insurance.

I'm not even sure how to keep the electricity turned on next month.

Margie's daughter ... Cassandra and Cassandra son ... Steven ... are still living with me ... Steven hasn't finished High School yet

If things go really bad ... she will have to her brothers help her move back to ... Washington ... that is where all her family is actually at.

[lacywest]

October 10th 2012 ... I went to the People's Funeral Chapel in Hanford CA ... and brought in the donations from the donation containers ... 35 dollars.

Theresa ... gave me me some good news ... People's Funeral Chapel took 600 Dollars off from the $2000 they were asking ... and someone anonymously donated ... $1000 Dollars. The amount dropped from $2000 to $464 ... very happy news.

We still have car washes scheduled this coming Friday at CVS Drug Store and on Saturday ... a Chiropractic Doctor will let us use his parking lot

Here is what I have on the Donation Containers ...

Marjorie Ann French - Hill
This wonderful woman and wife passed away October 2nd 2012
Her husband and her family are struggling with funeral expenses.
She would have been … 70 on December 2nd 2012
Margie was the nicest person a husband could be married too.
She will be eternally missed.
She had a beautiful smile and a really cute laugh and giggle.
Please help us out and reach into your pocket and put into this container what your heart can afford.

She is survived by her four children And her husband … Gary Hill and many many grandchildren.
Funeral Services are being Provided by People’s Funeral Chapel in Hanford CA.
Phone number 1-559-584-5591
Contact Theresa Robinson … for more information.
Paypal Donations … please use Margie’s email address …
… marj1015@pacbell.net

We Need To Keep The Electric, Gas, and Water and the phone turned on.

[lacywest]

Okay ... Theresa Robinson called me before we went out to start the first of many car washes ... Two people gave anonymous donatons ... first one was for $1000 a few days ago ... and when Theresa called today 10 - 12 -2012 ... another person gave a large donation and the bill is now paid off.

We pretty much did a Car Wash from ... 1:30 PM to 6 PM ... we can now pay the Water Bill. The Car Washes will continue ... we still have to keep the bills paid ... water ... electric ... gas ... and phone.

The Car Wash signs we made did not have ... any wording related to Funeral Services ... I have to make some new ones because the next location is not at the CVS Drug Store.

I am very grateful and if someone here was the person who made a donation ... Thank You ... I am very much grateful for your support.

Sincerely ... Lacywest

[deadrats]

gary,

for what it's worth, you have my condolences. in a way i know what you are going through. i recently went back to school to be a medical assistant and as part of the program i have to do a 200 hour externship, i ended up doing mine in the oncology department (cancer) of a large hospital. every day i see people with cancer, various blood disorders, i've had at least half a dozen people near death when they were brought in for infusions, i've seen grown men break down and cry in pain and despair as they realized that they were in the late stages of cancer, i've had them beg me not to let their family's in their room so that they wouldn't see them in that condition, i've seen pain and suffering i never thought i would see.

i always understood that we, mankind, are a finite species (to quote captain picard) but it wasn't until i started working with these patients that it really hit home. i've struggled with this realization and the only thing that allowed me to continue with my externship was a) accepting that death is inevitable for all of us, it's just a question of when not if and b) that in all honesty, as cold as this may sound, the deceased problems are now over, their suffering and pain is over and they have nothing to worry about ever again.

the next time you feel sad or like crying, ask yourself if your wife loved you. if she did, would she have wanted to see you sad, in pain, mourning her loss or would she want to see you happy, smiling and making the most of your life.

i know that when the time comes for me to end my stay on earth i don't want people coming to a funeral crying, saying how much they miss me or how much they loved me, i want them to say that i enjoyed most of my life, to be happy that all my problems and worries have come to an end and i want them to live the rest of their life being as happy as they can be.

that is the way they should honor my memory and that is how you honor your wife's. you ask us to respect you, i ask you to respect your wife's memory and live as long and as happy a life as you can. your wife's memory deserves it.

-chris.

[Tom Saurus]

I extend my condolences. I sympathize with the money problems, which add to your stress. I am grateful as a Canadian that we have the Public Health Care System; it has flaws, but there is a great deal of comfort that comes with it. I lost my father back in the summer of 1993. He was a very kind and decent man and I was blessed to have him in my life. I was not all that close to him growing up and I didn't appreciate him as much as I should of. He was 72 years old when he passed away, and I was 24. A mental illness hit me in my teens, and my Dad was like a rock, he was there for me, and I bonded with him for his compassion, which had been there all along, but my appreciation of that trait, grew during those years. I let him know, I loved him fairly often, I had a fear because of his age and his health which was ebbing, that we would loose him. He wasn't one of these guys that actually wouldn't say "I Love You", but he proved it to us in his actions every day. There are several stages of grief. For the longest time, I would dream that Dad was just sick and he would come home from the Hospital; eventually I found peace with it all. At the time of his death there were a lot of outstanding debts, including a mortgage, and a car to pay off. Thankfully my Dad had a War Vetern's Pension for his service in World War 2, and they kept my Mom at the married rate for a year, before reducing her to the single rate; this gave her time to adjust. Through time the vehicle got payed off then the mortgage.

I don't know if this is of any use to you, but when my Dad died I wrote down on a piece of paper, how I felt about him. I made once copy for him and one for him. I put the paper in his Legion jacket pocket and kept the other for myself. It gave me a comfort that it is with him. I read that Michael Jackson's children did the same thing, wrote down how they felt and put those messages in his coffin. Years after my father's death I began watching a Seventh Day Adventist Channel, and I gravitated to the belief, well I explain it my way. When you die your Spirit kind of gets put into a holding position, like pressing Pause on a VCR, the years come and go, there is no concept of time and then God says "Come Home My Son or Daughter" and there you are in Paradise greeted by ONE who's face you never saw before, or never heard His voice, but you know He has been with you ever step of the way. Sorry for getting all religious, but to me that brought comfort, because there have been some very hard times since my father's death. I didn't like the idea of my father possibly being sad about all our troubles, so I globbed onto that doctrine and adapted it to my way of thinking.

I hope you get enough donations to get the funeral paid for and that if you lose the place that you can find a place that you afford that will meet your needs. As for Obama and the Health Care issue, I think his heart is in the right place on the issue; he intends to find a more compassionate way of handling things; unfortunately he had to practically bribe his fellow Democrats to get on board; they are so worried about getting re-elected that they are reluctant to anger those who might fund their next campaigns. The Public Health Care system started here in one Province, and a lot of Doctors left, but they did come back; the thing is you have to have someone believe in something and have people that are willing to stick with him or her to achieve a worthwhile goal.

I hope something I wrote was of use to you. Life can sometimes throw you a blessing you never expected. I didn't know my next door neighbour. I rode my bicycle past his place, and he had this really mean dog, and I can tell you this much that dog sure got the pews filled in the local churches, because if you ran across him you started praying real quick. Well any way the neighbour he called his dog back, and we started up a conversation. Me being the blabberpuss I am told him my life story, and we became friends. I helped him with some computer stuff like putting on the VLC Media Player on his computer so he could play various types of video. Well anyway those talks we have had over the years have done me a lot of good, and I believe him as well. I suppose he is certifiably insane to put up with all my blabbering about this and that; I take that with a grain of salt though because having a friend to talk about help a great deal. My friend has diabetis and that have really took its toll on him right now. He had been in a City Hospital for nearly 3 months now. I visited him earlier this week and he is terribly lonely as he is in isolation because on top of his diabetis he developed a staph infection in his neck that bothered his voice. He is starting to get on mend though. I tried my best to cheer him up. I had him really laughing when I told him that I would make sure the nurses would bring in a CD of Justin Bieber's greatest hits to listen to. He knew I was kidding, and then I had the one about how "I have a good friend, he's got me entered into the demolition derby, he told me you are your bicycle your in it to win it". It was good to see him, and I feel bad that I can't visit him on a regular basis.

I hope your friends and family and some kind hearted strangers can help. I apologize for focusing on my own issues, but perhaps there is something useful to be gleaned from it all.

[lacywest]

Thank you Deadrats and Tom Saurus ... I did the car wash last week at the CVS drugstore with my grandson on Monday and Friday ... the other days inbetween ... I was by myself.

I managed to put $1200 in the bank ... Margie received a Social Security deposit [$115] and 9 days later ... they took it out ... it's a good thing I didn't move it to my checking account ... or Social Security would be bugging me ... I don't need that.

My monitor is a 32" Sony HDTV and I sit up fairly close and I have been looking at video recordings of Margie and it is really hard ... I see her ... I hear her ... and then I walk out of the garage ... into the hallway and I get hit ... Margie isn't here anymore.

I mowed the backyard two days ago and it's a electric lawnmower ... I have to squeeze the handle to keep the thing going ... in the past Margie would look out the window to see if I'm alright ... if she hears the lawnmower is not making any sound ... she'd take a look.

Yesterday ... I cleaned up the area where the 50 gallon Fish Tank was at ... when her family came down to see their mom one last time ... some of the family stayed behind and rented a u-haul trailer ... they took the fish tank and there was a mess on the carpet to clean up.

Go to my face book ... Margie is playing with Bandit >>> http://www.facebook.com/Mach1016#!/Mach1016 ... I'm in Public Mode ...