New BSOD

[VCDHunter]

Microsoft To Allow Changing Of Blue Screen Of Death

In a surprise announcement today, Microsoft President Steve Ballmer revealed that the Redmond-based company will allow computer resellers and end-users to customize the appearance of the Blue Screen of Death (BSOD), the screen that displays when the Windows operating system crashes.

The move comes as the result of numerous focus groups and customer surveys done by Microsoft. Thousands of Microsoft customers were asked, "What do you spend the most time doing on your computer?" A surprising number of respondents said, "Staring at a Blue Screen of Death." At 54 percent, it was the top answer, beating the second place answer "Downloading XXXScans" by an easy 12 points. "We immediately recognized this as a great opportunity for ourselves, our channel partners, and especially our customers," explained the excited Ballmer to a room full of reporters.

Immense video displays were used to show images of the new customizable BSOD screen side-by-side with the older static version. Users can select from a collection of "BSOD Themes," allowing them to instead have a Mauve Screen of Death or even a Paisley Screen of Death. Graphics and multimedia content can now be incorporated into the screen, making the BSOD the perfect conduit for delivering product information and entertainment to Windows users. The BSOD is by far the most recognized feature of the Windows operating system, and as a result, Microsoft has historically insisted on total control over its look and feel. This recent departure from that policy reflects Microsoft's recognition of the Windows desktop itself as the "ultimate information portal." By default, the new BSOD will be configured to show a random selection of Microsoft product information whenever the system crashes. Microsoft channel partners can negotiate with Microsoft for the right to customize the BSOD on systems they ship. Major computer resellers such as Compaq, Gateway, and Dell are already lining up for premier placement on the new and improved BSOD.

Ballmer concluded by getting a dig in against the Open Source community. "This just goes to show that Microsoft continues to innovate at a much faster pace than open source. I have yet to see any evidence that Linux even has a BSOD, let alone a customizable one."

[Cobra]

Linux doesn't normally need a damn BSOD. It is worrying when a company knows that a product is failing so often that they decide to make a pretty screen to look at when it dies, instead of fixing the problem and making it stable!

[Faustus]

Linux doesn't normally need a damn BSOD. It is worrying when a company knows that a product is failing so often that they decide to make a pretty screen to look at when it dies, instead of fixing the problem and making it stable!

You realize this is an old joke right?

Also LInux doesn't need one cause it just freezes up on ya.

[BJ_M]

for sure a joke -- i have not seen one for several years , never in xp at all ...

[Cobra]

Ahh - a joke. I wasn't thinking.

You can turn the blue screen on in XP - don't know how though. It is off as standard, and your machine just spontaneously reboots if a failure on that level occurs.

[reboot]

Start, Control panel, system, Advanced, Startup and recovery, settings button, take the tick out of "Automatically restart".

[Ironballs]

Thanks a ******* lot Bill. I was up in a cold sweat last night thinking, that what I really want from my OS is a BSOD that sells me more ******* shite.

Good night Bill

[BJ_M]

[Cobra]

Your picture collection is worrying, BJ_M.

[yoda313]

Hello,



Nope haven't had a blue screen since I got XP. Actually haven't had one while I used 2000 the last two years or so

Kevin

[Garibaldi]

Your picture collection is worrying, BJ_M.

Wow that's alot of pics!

Linux has a really cool screensaver called BSOD, it displays BSODs from various operating systems including windows, classic mac, apple II, OS/2, solaris, os x, *bsd, ect ect. Its really funny to watch.

[ViRaL1]

All your BSOD are belong to us?

[vitualis]

Yeah, Linux doesn't have a BSOD. In my experience, when it crashes, it just freezes dead.

Regards.

[BJ_M]

Microsoft Announces Bold New Strategy to Address Software Flaws: Limit Announcements to Once a Month

REDMOND, WASHINGTON — In a weekly tradition that is about to go monthly, computer giant Microsoft Corp. yet again issued a warning to consumers about several newly-discovered defects in its popular Windows software that leave users vulnerable to hackers, viruses and uncontrolled rage, and announced an innovative strategy to deal with the problem.

"From here on in, we'll only be reporting these flaws once a month, on the second Tuesday or Wednesday, instead of every week," said a spokesperson for the company. "That way, maybe we won't look so stupid so often, and the public will think we've addressed the quality control issues that allow substandard software to get to market."

Industry insiders say the new monthly announcement policy, in addition to fooling some of the people some of the time, will have the added benefit of giving hackers a break since they were having trouble keeping up on a weekly basis with all the announced flaws. "It was like Christmas every week," said one hacker who refused to be identified. "You can't live with that kind of excitement indefinitely without developing blood pressure problems."

One of the news services also reported that Microsoft began offering Windows XP users a single, convenient patch that combines 22 previous updates and a nicotine component to make it easier for users to update their computers and kick the smoking habit at the same time.

[ChrisX]

Nope haven't had a blue screen since I got XP. Actually haven't had one while I used 2000 the last two years or so

Kevin

No blue screen for me since Win98 and WinME before that.

I can remember WinME as so bad having so many BSODs and because of this I got rid for Win2K on the PC upgrade. This was 2½ years ago.

The last time I can remember BSOD was on Win98 PC early last year having drivers left behind after the scanner removed.

It was looking for the device and once re-booted I then uninstalled the drivers and app and no more since.

ChrisX

[yoda313]

Hello,

No blue screen for me since Win98 and WinME before that.

You're VERY FORTUNATE. My WIN 98 used to get corrupted frequently and had to do a full reinstall once or twice a year It was a good OS just prone to bugs.....

And I've never heard anything good about ME. I guess you were one of the lucky ones

Kevin