Saying nice things...

[beavereater]

My girl asked me to compliment her, say something OTHER than I love you...I don't know what to say, everything is so cliche. Anybody got some nice things that I can use to say to my girl...

[Capmaster]

Beavereater,
You knock my eyes out every time I look at you.

Oh, sorry Beave. You wanted something for you to tell your girlfriend ....

[SLICK RICK]

Nice ass.

[makntraks]

"So how was your day?"


just after you put cotton in yer ears....

makntraks

[SLICK RICK]

You know beavereater, it is not always what you say but what you do also. Next time she wears something sexy and passes you by, give her a light smack on the ass. 8)

[Goober57]

No, no no. Kids know the meaning of love. Just go here......

http://www.worldkids.net/love/nicethings.html

See, I can be nice every once in a while!

________________________

LIFTED

[curryman]

stick your eyes between my thighs,
give us a blowjob.

stick your gums around my plums,
give us a blowjob.

do it to the tune of .... Oh i don't know just sing it
works everytime apparently.
i'm not trying it though

[northcat_8]

Dude...you are really killing me.......

Basically all you need to do for a woman is listen to her and compliment her that's it.

If you make her feel special with words and SOME actions, she will **** you like she is riding Seattle Slew in the Kentucky Derby. She will cook the food you like to eat. She will take care of you.

So pay attention here Beavereater....which if you lived your name we wouldn't even be having this conversation....


Always make some comment on her appearence. But twist it every once in a while. Something like "is that what you are wearing to work today?" and she will respond with "yes, why?" then you come back with "because you look unbelievable in those jeans, skirt, etc, etc.

Ask her if she's losing weight at least once every 2 weeks. (actually I just turned this around on my wife, she's been on some ******* diet kick and she got down to about 120 lbs I had to tell her, "I'm not trying to critisize, but you could stand to gain about 10 pounds or so." and she did and Oh shit dude, I've got to tell you....er..um...nevermind, I'm getting side tracked

Notice her hair, any kind of shit like that. Becareful not to compliment a difference if she hasn't made one that will get you back to square one, and sucks because she will be pissed.

Compliments don't always have to be verbal. Next time you are walking through the kitchen or when her back is to you, just walk by and brush her ass with your hand. If she says something, then just say something like "I'm sorry, I hate it when it does that, but a fine ass is a fine ass."

Tell her her skin is soft.

Tell her her hair smells good.

In public or around her friends, whisper to her and ask her what she's doing later and when she says "Nothing" or "I don't know" say, "How about me?"

When in public or around friends, and you are across the room from her make some kind of signal, mouth the words, give her the look, whatever you do to let her know you want some sex...but don't be obvious and make sure only she sees you. Of course she won't go...so I always look back at her confused and shake and nod my head slightly in a questioning manner.

Say things like "alright, if you are going to wear skirts like that, then I'm not going to be responsible for my actions because your legs are just tearing me up."

You also need to do other things. Buy her a rose and just leave it somewhere for her to find it, like in her car, or on her pillow. You can leave a note, but you don't have to. If you leave a note just say something simple like "just thinking of you". Don't get into an essay contest with it...you ain't hallmark you know.

Leave her a little game to find her gift. Simple shit like put a note on the bathroom mirror that says "Go look in the freezer", then in the freezer put a note that says "you're so hot, I had to cool you off, but sorry it's not here, go look in the bathtub." then in the bathtub put a note that says something like "oh how I would love a candle lit bubble bath with you, but now is not the time, go look on the hall mirror and on that note say something like "look at yourself, you are the most beautiful woman in the world to me, and a beautiful woman should have a beautiful flower." Make sure you put a rose somewhere close to the mirror and make note of it on the note to her.

You maybe wondering...why a single rose. A single rose is an isolated, single item of beauty, it is by itself and it is symbolism for her beauty. A dozen roses may be nice, but also expensive and there are 12 of them, 12 identical flowers, where as there is just something beautiful about a single rose, as if it's one of a kind. (Thanks Tiffany, girlfriend 10th grade year).

And if you really want to **** her up....give her a massage but don't let it lead to sex, don't hold it from her if she initiates it, but don't you start anything. When she asks what was that all about, say something like "nothing, I just like to feel your body." This one can be tricky, if the massage is done too well, she will want sex...which is fine, but if used too often she will begin to think that is just another way for you to initiate sex...you can't let that happen, or you will desensitize her to that method

Send her dirty little text messages, leave her dirty little voice mails...don't get to graphic, just an invitation, something like "hey, I was wondering what you were doing for lunch. I don't have anything to do for lunch and I was wondering if I could do you for lunch." or something like "ummm, yea, ummmm....yea...this is...um...beavereater...and I was wondering if I could get a booty call after work." (seriously)

Look dude, bottom line is she just wants to be noticed, maybe she feels a little neglected, that happens. Some women need or want more attention than others. But if you keep a continuous running streak going on, she will be OK during the slow times.

Now don't go thinking you need to do all of this everyday but every once in a while, show her you are thinking about her.

I make some kind of sexual gesture or compliment to my wife everyday, but then again, I think my wife is hot (I think your girl is too) so I'll do something like Thursday is thanksgiving day, I'll find a time to get to her and ask her if she wants to go up stairs for some dessert. Of course she won't go...with her parents there and everything but it does make her feel special and wanted.

and if you don't want to put that much effort into it Beave, then slap a stamp on her forehead and mail her to Northcat....

[curryman]

northcat piped

If you make her feel special with words and SOME actions, she will **** you like she is riding Seattle Slew in the Kentucky Derby. She will cook the food you like to eat. She will take care of you.

So pay attention here Beavereater....which if you lived your name we wouldn't even be having this conversation....


Always make some comment on her appearence. But twist it every once in a while. Something like "is that what you are wearing to work today?" and she will respond with "yes, why?" then you come back with "because you look unbelievable in those jeans, skirt, etc, etc.

Ask her if she's losing weight at least once every 2 weeks. (actually I just turned this around on my wife, she's been on some ******* diet kick and she got down to about 120 lbs I had to tell her, "I'm not trying to critisize, but you could stand to gain about 10 pounds or so." and she did and Oh shit dude, I've got to tell you....er..um...nevermind, I'm getting side tracked

Notice her hair, any kind of shit like that. Becareful not to compliment a difference if she hasn't made one that will get you back to square one, and sucks because she will be pissed.

Compliments don't always have to be verbal. Next time you are walking through the kitchen or when her back is to you, just walk by and brush her ass with your hand. If she says something, then just say something like "I'm sorry, I hate it when it does that, but a fine ass is a fine ass."

Tell her her skin is soft.

Tell her her hair smells good.

In public or around her friends, whisper to her and ask her what she's doing later and when she says "Nothing" or "I don't know" say, "How about me?"

When in public or around friends, and you are across the room from her make some kind of signal, mouth the words, give her the look, whatever you do to let her know you want some sex...but don't be obvious and make sure only she sees you.

Say things like "alright, if you are going to wear skirts like that, then I'm not going to be responsible for my actions because your legs are just tearing me up."

You also need to do other things. Buy her a rose and just leave it somewhere for her to find it, like in her car, or on her pillow. You can leave a note, but you don't have to. If you leave a note just say something simple like "just thinking of you". Don't get into an essay contest with it...you ain't hallmark you know.

Leave her a little game to find her gift. Simple shit like put a note on the bathroom mirror that says "Go look in the freezer", then in the freezer put a note that says "you're so hot, I had to cool you off, but sorry it's not here, go look in the bathtub." then in the bathtub put a note that says something like "oh how I would love a candle lit bubble bath with you, but now is not the time, go look on the hall mirror and on that note say something like "look at yourself, you are the most beautiful woman in the world to me." Make sure you put a rose somewhere close to the mirror and make note of it on the note to her.

You maybe wondering...why a single rose. A single rose is an isolated, single item of beauty, it is by itself and it is symbolism for her beauty. A dozen roses may be nice, but also expensive and there are 12 of them, 12 identical flowers, where as there is just something beautiful about a single rose (Thanks Tiffany, girlfriend 10th grade year).

And if you really want to **** her up....give her a massage but don't let it lead to sex, don't hold it from her if she initiates it, but don't you start anything. When she asks what was that all about, say something like "nothing, I just like to feel your body." This one can be tricky, if the massage is done too well, she will want sex...which is fine, but if used too often she will begin to think that is just another way for you to initiate sex...you can't let that happen, or you will desensitize her to that method

Send her dirty little text messages, leave her dirty little voice mails...don't get to graphic, just an invitation, something like "hey, I was wondering what you were doing for lunch. I don't have anything to do for lunch and I was wondering if I could do you for lunch." or something like "ummm, yea, ummmm....yea...this is...um...beavereater...and I was wondering if I could get a booty call after work." (seriously)

Look dude, bottom line is she just wants to be noticed, maybe she feels a little neglected, that happens. Some women need or want more attention than others. But if you keep a continuous running streak going on, she will be OK during the slow times.

Now don't go thinking you need to do all of this everyday but every once in a while, show her you are thinking about her.

I make some kind of sexual gesture or compliment to my wife everyday, but then again, I think my wife is hot (I think your girl is too) so I'll do something like Thursday is thanksgiving day, I'll find a time to get to her and ask her if she wants to go up stairs for some dessert. Of course she won't go...with her parents there and everything but it does make her feel special and wanted.

and if you don't want to put that much effort into it Beave, then slap a stamp on her forehead and mail her to Northcat....

That all nice and everything but if she looks like this it don't really cut the ice.......you know what i'm saying

[Capmaster]

Damn, I should have consulted northcat a long time ago.

I keep getting in the doghouse at home. And I just figured out why

I leave notes around the house, and in her car, but they say things like:

Shut the **** up

Cook me my dinner

Lose some weight while you can still see the scale

If I wanted your opinion, I'd ...well ...I'd never want it to begin with

Do you suppose those are the reason?

[northcat_8]

Curryman - oh no dog...you should see Beave's girl. She's pretty good looking. Good looking enough that if you see her next to him, you would think she lost a bet

[curryman]

big dick then....must be!

[hech54]

Next time she walks in the house....stop dead in your tracks...hold your hand to your heart and gasp(as if you have been scared by her).
She'll ask "What?"
And you reply:
"You get prettier(pretty-er?) every time I see you?

Worked like a charm on a woman I used to work with....SHHHH.....don't tell my wife even though it was before we were married....

[Goober57]

IMAGE REMOVED

________________________

[offline]

..no comment .. just taking notes

[jimmalenko]

Pardon the french, but ...










**** me, northy

You da man

[northcat_8]

I know I addressed that to your girlfriend or wife, but you can apply most of it to females at work too. (except the sexual parts )

Why you may ask? <shakes head indisgust...Rookies >

Because women cook and bake, and if you are nice to them -> compliment them...they will bring you food.

In the Northcat world...

German teacher (she's Italian) - brings german and italian food regularly.
Spanish teacher - mexican food
English teacher - cupcakes, pies, cakes, porkchops, sometimes bacon and eggs for breakfast...(no shit!)
Main Secretary - cookies and brownies (she's hot, but can't bake for shit, but I tell her how good they are anyway)
Science teacher - also a baker
Hell I even have students who bring me food. #1 because I will eat it, 2nd because I always say something like "Wow, if I lived with you I'd weight 400 lbs" or "Wow, are you single?", something like that. It makes them feel good and they will return with more

I haven't paid for a meal at the school in 4 years. I even flirt a little with the cooks and they won't let me pay for lunch. They always say "Northcat, there's no way we are going to let such a nice guy pay for lunch, you can have it." <see MFers...NICE GUY ....I ******* told you...Captain Sunshine ) Flirting with cooks is different you perverts , they are older women, so I always ask "is this homemade or canned?" (they make the best vegetable soup on earth oh ****, it's so good) but since they are grandma's just ask them how their families are, how the grand kids are, compliment their cooking and Waaa-Laaa (it is good food, I'm not lying to them)

Probably most of the reason I weigh 225-230

Shit, I even do it to waitresses when my wife and I go out to eat.
We went out to eat at a this rib place. I ordered a whole rack of ribs, and the waitress said "that comes with a baked potato and cole slaw." I said "Awww, Sweatheart, do I look like a guy who eats 'cole slaw'?" She said "well, no, actually you don't." So I said "do you think it would be possible to exchange my cole slaw for a half rack of ribs?" She said "I'll don't think so, but I'll check." She comes back and says "I'm sorry Sir, but I'm not allowed to do that and I got in trouble for even asking." I said "Oh, I am so sorry Dear, I didn't mean to get you in trouble, I'm really sorry." Now this whole time my wife is just looking at me and shaking her head as she looks down at the table trying to hide her embarassment... ANYWAY, a little while later our waitress was taking food to a neighboring table and as she walks by she slides a half rack of ribs on our table and says "Shhhhhh"

My wife just about shit a brick. Said "I can't believe she gave those to you." I just laughed and ate my ribs

I left Camile a $10 tip.

Men - don't complicate your lives....food, sex, sleep. That's it. Everything else you do, is something you do while waiting on one of those 3 to happen.

Oh I know you may say..."NOooooo, that's not true." I say "bullshit". As you are reading this post, if your wife or girlfriend (or hand in Yoda's case :P ) walked up beside you, buck naked and said "let's go" your ass would have to read the rest of this post later because you would be right there, and the same could be said for just about anything else too. Wife calls at lunch time, wants a nooner, all the sudden you are planning how the **** you are going to get out on time to meet her.

[beavereater]

Well, thanks people. I like the ass slapping idea!! Anyway, I think the "I love you." along with the "I love you too." is what was gettin' to her. SO right there on the spot she asked for something different...not a biggie...

As for the stamp to Northcats place...not just yet!!

[tgpo]

Just try adding something to the end of the saying, such as

"I love you beautiful"

"I love you sexy"

"I love you (Insert sexy pet name here)"

[sacajaweeda]

"Hey baby....your ass doesn't look nearly as big in those jeans."

[northcat_8]

As for the stamp to Northcats place...not just yet!!

You know, sometimes the direct approach is good too.

~Wow I really like those Jeans, I wonder how they would look laying on my bedroom floor.

~Stroking mouth and chin~here Sweetheart, let me clean you off a place to sit

~If we just starting going at it right here and now, do you think they would kick us out of Krogers?

~I'm hungry. But not for food...<evil grin>

~<acting like your in pain> Oh man, honey, I have a cramp in my "johnson" you think you could stretch that out for me?

~Grab her by the ass and say "let's go". When she looks suprised just say "What? I am the type of guy your mother warned you about you know"