Computers VS. Women

[Doramius]

Everyone think of one pro for Computer's VS. a con for Women, and then one Pro for Women VS. one con for Computers. Let's see who's the most creative.
-----------------------------------------
You can always turn the sounds off on a Computer. A Woman, where's the switch.
--
Woman gives real sex. Computer has pictures, but the job still ends up finishing with the hand.

[Capmaster]

A computer only speaks when you ask it something. A woman speaks all the time.

A woman is easier to mate with than a computer. With a computer it's too easy to get your balls caught in the fan.

[flaninacupboard]

Once you're bored of a PC game you buy a new one.

When you get a woman sticky she cleans herself.

[Doramius]

You might not want her to clean herself, depending on how she got sticky. Sad part is I've met women who don't clean themselves, where it counts.

[Capmaster]

You might not want her to clean herself, depending on how she got sticky. Sad part is I've met women who don't clean themselves, where it counts.

Don't tell northcat ...he might like that

And I refuse to participate in the poll. Nobody needs to know that much about me

[indolikaa]

You might not want her to clean herself, depending on how she got sticky. Sad part is I've met women who don't clean themselves, where it counts.

Don't tell northcat ...he might like that

And I refuse to participate in the poll. Nobody needs to know that much about me

We need to know everything about you, Comrade.

[Capmaster]

You might not want her to clean herself, depending on how she got sticky. Sad part is I've met women who don't clean themselves, where it counts.

Don't tell northcat ...he might like that

And I refuse to participate in the poll. Nobody needs to know that much about me

We need to know everything about you, Comrade.

Nyet.

[Doramius]

The polls are for fun. It's totally anonymous. Or you might be hiding something? Capmaster, Do you have a red streak? You'll need to tell you're goat.
--------------------
You get to pick what you want when upgrading your computer. Women don't always want to be upgraded.
--
Women have 3 convenient ports to accept your same input. Computers....can't put a floppy disc in the CD tray.

[Capmaster]

The polls are for fun. It's totally anonymous. Or you might be hiding something? Capmaster, Do you have a red streak? You'll need to tell you're goat.
--------------------
You get to pick what you want when upgrading your computer. Women don't always want to be upgraded.
--
Women have 3 convenient ports to accept your same input. Computers....can't put a floppy disc in the CD tray.

If I have a red streak I have more to worry about than this poll

[Doramius]

Like no sex for a week?

[Capmaster]

Like no sex for a week?

No ....like my ******* falling out onto the sidewalk. You seem to think I'm female, or is that just a fantasy of yours?

[Doramius]

It might, but Ihaven't made a poll for that issue, YET.

[flaninacupboard]

um, problem with the poll:

it needs two more options

"0 inches, i'm toilet trained"

and

"Not as long as TGPO's!"

[Capmaster]

It might, but Ihaven't made a poll for that issue, YET.

I look forward to that poll

[indolikaa]

It might, but Ihaven't made a poll for that issue, YET.

I look forward to that poll

Da!

[bugster]

A computer can be turned on by the flick of a switch

A woman can be turned on by the flick of your tongue.


Don't get them confused

[flaninacupboard]

there's a great pic i saw, a big control panel split in two. the left side is labelled "man" there's one toggle switch, labelled "On/Off". The right side is labelled "Woman" and has a million controls, dials lights and VU meters, none of which are labelled! Made me chuckle.

[Capmaster]

there's a great pic i saw, a big control panel split in two. the left side is labelled "man" there's one toggle switch, labelled "On/Off". The right side is labelled "Woman" and has a million controls, dials lights and VU meters, none of which are labelled! Made me chuckle.

I saw that in a post here a few weeks ago, I think it was. Funny as hell, and so true

[northcat_8]

You might not want her to clean herself, depending on how she got sticky. Sad part is I've met women who don't clean themselves, where it counts.

Don't tell northcat ...he might like that

And I refuse to participate in the poll. Nobody needs to know that much about me

OH NOoooooooo , no extra cheese with the cherry sauce, no no no....well that depends...is it fresh cheese?? Is it an interlude following or during a workout?.....*focus dammit* ....to answer your question - no day old cheese.

Pro for computer vs Con for women
when the computer gets upset ctrl+alt+delete lets you start over, I've pushed many buttons on many women but have not found those 3 (apparently).

You can also use many computers at the same time, but women tend to get man if USE one of them at all.

When you get a computer you pay for it on the spot, when you get a woman you pay for it forever.

Pro for women vs Con for computer
Pussy vs Mouse port ....I guess the mouse port could work out for some of our smaller participants.

[Capmaster]

OH NOoooooooo , no extra cheese with the cherry sauce, no no no....well that depends...is it fresh cheese?? Is it an interlude following or during a workout?.....*focus dammit* ....to answer your question - no day old cheese.

I'll need to somehow make a reply template just for northcat's posts, with the vomit smileys already there

And to think I thought you were a lesbian

[flaninacupboard]

no, it's your own MAN-CHEESE.

Or worse, someone elses' MAN-CHEESE!

[indolikaa]

OH NOoooooooo , no extra cheese with the cherry sauce, no no no....well that depends...is it fresh cheese?? Is it an interlude following or during a workout?.....*focus dammit* ....to answer your question - no day old cheese.

I'll need to somehow make a reply template just for northcat's posts, with the vomit smileys already there

And to think I thought you were a lesbian

I will never knock vinyl again.

[Capmaster]

no, it's your own MAN-CHEESE.

Or worse, someone elses' MAN-CHEESE!

A "Smeg-Scarfer"

[indolikaa]

This thread is fucked up. :P

[jeex]

if you scream at your computer & then beat the shit out of it, you dont go to jail.

if you scream at your woman & then beat the shit out of her, you go to jail.
-------

if you work hard, you can afford a better computer than all of your friends.. women, thats alot different.. unless you're the type of guy who hires an escort to pretend to be his date, then when your friends find out they call you "john" instead of "tim".. ahahah. that ruled so much.

[northcat_8]

OH NO...none of that 2nd hand "smoke" bullshit....no swinging that way

Maybe cheese was a bad reference

How about....no day old bread. The bread doesn't need to be fresh out of the oven to still be good bread, hell I can even pick some mold spots off if I have too...I'm still eating the bread.

Hmmm, you guys are so judgement on the whole "red wings" deal I'll spare you the "What's great about it speech."

[Capmaster]

OH NO...none of that 2nd hand "smoke" bullshit....no swinging that way

Maybe cheese was a bad reference

How about....no day old bread. The bread doesn't need to be fresh out of the oven to still be good bread, hell I can even pick some mold spots off if I have too...I'm still eating the bread.

Hmmm, you guys are so judgement on the whole "red wings" deal I'll spare you the "What's great about it speech."

I'm sure you can enlighten us about the merits of "lapping the red", but if you go ahead and post it I'll read it after lunch, if you don't mind

How about....no day old bread.

Speaking of bread, what's with yeast infections? If women don't want to get this illness, don't keep bread there

[Doramius]

By Demand, I have readjusted the Poll Answers. Maybe som of you will be more participating.
---------
Comp. pro - Doesn't ask you to rub it's feet, women do.
Women Pro - Live moans sound better.
Comp. con - Needs Constant Power (but so do women)
Women con - You might get slapped if you play with her knobs.

Computers don't get upset when you're on multiple ones at the same time.
The heat of a woman feels better in your lap.

[northcat_8]

Women Pro - Live moans sound better.

Get a better sound card

I'll leave the whole blood clot speech for another day capmaster..."work" is over for today, time to go home....9 days left

[Doramius]

What about light clawing up you back? Haven't been able to get my computer to do that yet. Of course I haven't found the volume knob on my wife. For some reason I keep checking the same 2 knobs, which seem to be very sensitive and often turn the volume up. Good on occasion, I guess.