Stupidest things you've ever done

[Devanshu]

For me, the list is endless

-My cousin and I set his lawn on fire(on accident)
-Once I gave my friend laxative mistaking it for Pepto Bismol(I wasnt looking and just grabbed a bottle)
-I joined an online forum to learn how to burn a dvd and now it consumes every waking hour

List the stupidest things you've ever done

[Capmaster]

At age 3 drank insecticide out of a gallon jug ....had stomach pumped
At age 14 drank 25 beers in one night
Signed up for Tae Kwon Do lessons on a whim and signed a 2-year contract to get the best price/lesson
Drove a motorcycle 25 miles on an expressway in a cold midwestern city in January

[rallynavvie]

- Fell asleep on a solo cross-country flight somewhere over North Dakota for somewhere between 3 and 5 minutes.
- Shot an arrow straight up in the air in the middle of a field with nowhere to hide.
- Built a cannon from a piece of concrete sewer pipe, a croquet ball, and smokeless powder after reading about such an idea in a McManus book.

[adam]

1) Once I was at a party and pretty drunk. I had a beer in my left hand and someone asked what time it was. I poured my beer out as I turned my wrist over to look at my watch. The worst part is that I wasn't even wearing a watch.

2) Once a friend and I had the muchies so we started microwaving one of those giant family sized meals, the ones where you have to do it for so many mins at 50% power, then rotate then do it on high for a while etc...

In our altered state we were having a real hard time with the instructions, so we figured we'd do it one step at a time. So we get the microwave going and continue to read the instructions in contemplation of the next step. We waited for 20 mins until the first stage was complete before we realized we had never put the package into the microwave cause we were still reading it.

3) Once I borrowed a friend's car and for the life of me I couldn't figure out how to get the key out of the ignition. It had this stupid kill switch thing that he installed himself that you would never notice. So I was late for an appointment and had no choice but to leave the keys in the ignition. So I think, "well better lock the doors so no one steals the car." I realized my mistake as the door was shutting but by then it was too late. I felt a little better when the locksmith couldn't figure out how to remove the keys from the ignition either.

[babyboo]

When I was back in college I rented a U-Haul. Tried to save some bucks so I got a stick shift. I didn't know how to drive a stick back then. I jerked, bucked and stalled all the way cross town.


Went to the car show. Saw a car I liked and wanted to see if the backseat was confortable. Climed in the back (it was a tight fit). When I climbed back out I got stuck. I didn't realize it was a 4 door so I was squeezing in and out like it was a 2 door. What an idiot

[northcat_8]

Play quarters with a 1/2 gallon of Jack Daniels. 4 of us. Ages 16, 16, 14, 21 (friend's brother). Ran out of JD, so we went to the state store, except me, friend and his brother were all too drunk to drive, so we let the 14 year old drive. Go to state store, spent the last of our money on another 1/2 gallon. We were about 20 miles east of Dayton near interstate 70. 14 year old driving home, got on I-70 and was driving west. I remember thinking, man it is taking us a long time to get home....yea....road sign reads "Indianapolis" 17 miles.....now that was bad, but after we turned around we ran out of gas. 4 drunk guys, with a 14 year old driver, in Indiana, out of gas, with about $3 to their name, an empty Jack Daniels bottle, at 2:00 am. So we ended up sneaking into someone's yard and cutting a garden hose in pieces and then snuck around siphoning gas into the empty JD bottle until we had enough gas to get home.

~ So if sometime in the summer of 1985, you lived in Indiana and you woke up and your garden hose was cut up or your car was missing some gas....I appologize.


Was in a hurry, and I was speeding. Got pulled over by a state DICK. He came up to the window and asked me "do you know how fast you were going?" Being in a hurry and now upset at being stopped, I blirted out "how the **** should I know, you pulled me over, you tell me."

~ he was not a happy camper and I got to do a field subriety test....prick...I'm still mad about that day.

Me and my friends use to have BB and Pellet gun fights in the barn. We wore safety glasses most of the time, but still that wasn't real smart. Oddly enough, it's the same 3 guys from the first story I told. Could be a pattern.....

[Ironballs]

At school Janet Atkins asked me out and I turned her down. Why oh why I'll never know, even today I still get a twinge in the old pink fella thinking about her.

[Craig Tucker]

I was about 10 years old playing darts in the back yard, while my brother was sat on the floor blowing bubbles. I though of a new game, try to pop the bubbles with the darts. Chucked one in the direction of the bubble with no thought to the fact that my brother happened to be sat there. A second later my brother is sat on the floor with a dart sticking out of his knee, buried right up to the barrel. The wierd thing is he did not even feel it, I rushed over to him very worried and pointed the dart out to him, it was at this point that he started screaming his head off, I then pulled it out quick before my mum saw it.

I also clocked him over the head with a lump hammer I found in my grandmothers garage but thats another story.

[pacmania_2001]

My friends and I filled up an empty 1kg tin of coffee with kerosene and sugar cane mulch then lit it on fire and kicked it around his backyard. Looks exactly like on the old NBA Hoops game when you are on fire. Anyway, long story short, after we were done we put it out using water so it created like an oil spill so that night you could see what looked like lightning shooting across the grass if you set it on fire.

It was hard to convince my friends parents that their yard was somehow burnt when the fire fell over.

Another stupid thing is the one I said in the other thread about pushing over porta-loos then jumping on the back of my friends car to escape before he floored it and I fell flat on my face.

Also when I was 4 my girlfriend and I commited what could be construed as mail fraud but lets not go into the details.

[jeex]

mine is fire related too..

in jr. high my best friend and i were in shop class and the teacher showed us how to make liquid metal using tire weights.. when the weekend came around we decided to this on our own. anyhow, we got a few old tire weights from a mechanic shop down the street from my house.. get got a few big bricks and put them in a square and started burning some paper under the pot.. that wasnt working, so we got some more paper and sprayed it with hairspray.. that wasnt working for shit either.. so he and i got an old milk jug and walked down to the gas station and bought a gallon of gas.. we poured it on the paper and it really started going well.. but not well enough. i told him to pour some more on it, then WOOOSH the fire shot up the stream of gasoline coming from the gallon jug.. he freaks out and tosses the gallon jug forward, gas slashes out on and to my house and an old couch we were throwing out.. mind you, we were doing this in my backyard within the fire going 2 feet from my house.. oh, and the gallon jug is in the midst of the fire.. so at the moment, my house is on fire, a couch right next to my house is on fire, and about 4/5ths of a gallon of gas is in the middle of a roaring fire that is right next to my house.. the first thing i do is grab the gallon jug and throw it behind me so it doesnt explode.. mind you, its fall so there are dry leaves burning now and the gallon jug is still on fire.. so i yell at him and tell him to go get the water hose.. there is a boxspring in the backyard we were throwing out so i start slamming it on the gallon jug attempting to extigiush it, after about slamming it 2 or 3 times the gallon jug isnt on fire any more.. but i've still got the house, leaves, a couch and the mattress on fire.. shortly after i got the gallon jug out he came with the water hose, i told him to move the couch away from the house.. i was able to extinguish the house, the original fire, the couch, the mattress and the leaves.. but man oh man there was a crapload of ash in the back driveway.. so we used the hose and cleaned it up the best we could, we wound up dumping the couch & mattress and watered down the yard the best we could. where most of the ash that wouldnt clean up i moved my dads truck over.. i prayed that he would park in our front yard and that it would rain that night..

it didnt rain, but he didnt find out until a few years later when i told him. i was soooo close to burning down my house its not even funny..

the moral of the story, dont let your stupid friends hold a gallon of gas near a fire..

oh and the truck i mentioned, my best friend and i used to pretend we were in action movies.. so one of us would get in the drivers seat and one would lay on the windshield/hood and hold on as the other slammed on the gas then then slammed on the breaks.. we never got hurt, but man was that fun.

[Sifaga]

Mines fire related too,

i was about ten and i wanted to see how much petrol was left in a petrol can so i lit a match and looked in, i lost my eye brows and lashes, not something you can hide easily.

[Devanshu]

Wow, people here are really fascinated by fire

[Defcon]

Threw away CD-RW media not knowing I could write over it...

[SquirrelDip]

When I was about 4 my grandfather was a carpenter. One day I was watching him work and was fascinated by a staple gun he was using.

I asked to see it and he handed it to me. I first I tried one hand and quickly found I needed two. Two to squeeze it didn't work either so I turned it around and pulled with all my might. With a little force I managed to squeeze enough to fire a staple - right through my shirt fastening it into my stomach.

Grandfather was on the floor laughing...

[beavereater]

I live in Japan so I can't read all the stuff. I went into a toilet for the meant for the handicapped, did my business...noticed there were an array of buttons to choose from, not know which one to push, I just guessed. I set off the "I've fallen and I can't get up alarm." Before I could get my pants all the way up, there were people banging on the door asking if I was OK.

[Cobra]

Fire, fire, fire...

My friends and I have always had a thing for this. Petrol, fireworks and aerosol cans. Together.

You know the best bit?

It's on DVD.

Cobra

[awlchu]

...mmmmm.......

Twenty years ago I owned a stationwagon that stored it's spare tire under a false floor in the back. This wagon was known to leak rain water into this tire well and collect. Very prone to rusting due to standing water.

So, I decided to add a couple of drain holes to allow any water that gathered inside the well to drain out. So, armed with a drill, I drilled two very nice drain holes in the corners of the well. The water drained faster than a prom dress dropping on the floor on prom night!!

One slight problem..... I looked under the wagon and it was completely dry!!

I managed to drill both holes right into the gas tank!!!

[northcat_8]

I have to tell this one on my wife....

We took a little trip up to sandusky, ohio. We were going to go to Cedar Point the next day, so we went up a day early and were going to go to Put-In Bay. In case you don't know Put-In Bay is actually an Island out in Lake Erie and has claim to the longest bar in the world. So anyway, we are in line to buy a ticket for the boat shuttle to run us across to the island. We get up to the window and my wife looks at the girl serious as stone and says....the shuttle costs $10.00 each but we can rent bicycles for $1.50 an hour? The girl says "yes". My wife says, "that doesn't make sense, why not just rent bicycles and ride them to the island?" the girl says "Ma'am....it's an island..." my wife says "I know"...the girl says "it's surrounded by water?!?.....my wife not understanding and getting irritated says "I know it's an island...what..aren't we allowed to ride the bicycles to the island or something?"

I was laughing so hard I just had to leave her at the window and let them work it out.

[pacmania_2001]

I have to tell this one on my wife....

We took a little trip up to sandusky, ohio. We were going to go to Cedar Point the next day, so we went up a day early and were going to go to Put-In Bay. In case you don't know Put-In Bay is actually an Island out in Lake Erie and has claim to the longest bar in the world. So anyway, we are in line to buy a ticket for the boat shuttle to run us across to the island. We get up to the window and my wife looks at the girl serious as stone and says....the shuttle costs $10.00 each but we can rent bicycles for $1.50 an hour? The girl says "yes". My wife says, "that doesn't make sense, why not just rent bicycles and ride them to the island?" the girl says "Ma'am....it's an island..." my wife says "I know"...the girl says "it's surrounded by water?!?.....my wife not understanding and getting irritated says "I know it's an island...what..aren't we allowed to ride the bicycles to the island or something?"

I was laughing so hard I just had to leave her at the window and let them work it out.

Your wife isn't Jessica Simpson by any chance?

[tgpo]

Northcat, it could work.

[Capmaster]

How true friendships are forged

[northcat_8]

Your wife isn't Jessica Simpson by any chance?

Fortunately not. But my wife is good looking and a little ditsy. Which is unfortunate because my family is a laughter family. My dad is a practical joke player, prankster....he does things like come over at night and take all the tires off of my truck and put them in the bed of the truck, so I have to put them back on before I can go to work in the morning...things like that.

While siding our house he had my wife running around looking for a "siding stretcher"...she couldn't find it, so he sent her to Lowe's to buy one...she went... ...she's really a good person and fortunately she can take a joke and laugh at herself...otherwise we would have been divorced years ago.

[flaninacupboard]

Your wife isn't Jessica Simpson by any chance?

While siding our house he had my wife running around looking for a "siding stretcher"...she couldn't find it, so he sent her to Lowe's to buy one...she went... ...she's really a good person and fortunately she can take a joke and laugh at herself...otherwise we would have been divorced years ago.

Remember back at school, sending a trainee techie over to the other side of the school (several buldings) to the technology dept to get me a left handed screw driver. he came back ten minutes later asking if i needed a posidrive or a negadrive, so i said posi. he came back ten minutes later, did i need a manual or an electric? electric please. he didn't come back after that...

Also, used to work in a theatre, every new techie on their first got told "oh, can you nip backstage and grab the longweight please?" and cue 2 hours of asking people "where is the longweight?" "oh, i think john had it" "no, i left it in the studio" and of course the guy who sent them saying "come on, where is it? i've been waiting ages!"
They usually give up after a bit, but when they employed a girl she literally spent her whole first day looking!

[Baldrick]

Made kingjohn a moderator.

[flaninacupboard]

oh, as for stupid things:

Got five friends to hold hand in a circle. friend number one got given a wire in his right hand and friend five got given a wire in his left hand. the two wires were tied to either side of a 100,000V tazer. i had the button
I'll never forget, pushing that little button and watching them all go "ARGH!" at exactly the same moment. sweet......

Got a four inch spiral fracture in my leg by trying to drop in on a skate ramp, that was pretty stupid.

Open fire in the living room, fire not going very well. You pick up a newspaper and put it over the opening to make the airlfow faster. sen my dad do it hundreds of times. on my own i try it, take the paper away, shit it's on fire! throw it to the floor. try and beat it out with brush from companion set, it justgoes all curly. run down to the cellar and grab the water tank from the dehumidifier, throw on the flames - and as the water began flying through the air, i noticed it was going to land on a live multi socket adaptor

Setting off an orange smoke flare in public and being annoyed when people noticed it.

Instaled an AMD k6-2 processor without changin any voltage settings. mmm, toasty.

Hoping our friends mum and dad wouldn't notice a charred mess on his patio when exploding deoderant cans. funnier still was my friend standing right in front of it and setting his hair on fire!

Driving to Norwich with no map in the car late at night. i got there ok but got amazingly lost on the way home. panic really set in when i saw "Welcome to Essex" So i had to sleep in the car and buy a map in the morning.

[indolikaa]

Getting into a fistfight with a police officer and forgetting he showed up to the fracas with a partner.

I had to apologize. The badge did look like it came from a cereal box, and most cops won't enter a high school riot in civilian clothes.

[Hardcoreruss]

2 Spring to Mind

Number 1

Back when I was about 17 me and a few mates were smoking some pot in my garage. I was off my nut and decided it would be fun to see how much things burned (more fire), so I worked my way round the usual and then I say a big can of petrol. Went outside to the patio just outside the door to the garage and poured a little pool of petrol onto the floor, moved the petrol can out of the way but did not notice the small trickle coming from it. Lit the puddle of petrol and whoosh up goes the whole sodding can. I kick the can away (**** knows why) setting my whole clothes on fire and setting up a wall of flames outside the garage. So I am now doing the can can in my front garden trying to put my bloody clothes out, finally do that turn round and see my two mates barracaded in my garage still rolling joints.

Finally convince them to leave the pot and come out. They jump through the flames Indy style, now all three of us are in the clear but there is about a ten foot high fire raging in my garage. One starts shouting call the fire brigade, I am like "bollocks to that my parents will kill me" while we are arguing my other mate has gone to the kitchen got a big saucepan of water and before I could stop him chucked the water on the fire. Of cause petrol ******* floats so now basically the entire patio is on fire. They are running around like headless chickens I think I am going to die because I am so paranoid because of the pot. Run upstairs get a load of sheets soak them in water and chuck them over the fire, this puts the main fire out but because the bastard thing had got so high it had set a tree on fire. So now you have three blokes standing on top of a wall with bed sheets flicking them at the tree, beating crap out of the poor thing. Anyway to cut a long story short we managed to get the hose pipe working and put out the tree.

The funny thing is my parents never noticed that the ground in the patio was black and that the tree in the road was missing most of it's left side.

The moral

Pot and Petrol don't mix

Will post the other one tomorrow, which is a lot worse, I am off home, Wahayyy!!!!

[Craig Tucker]

Made kingjohn a moderator.

[indolikaa]

Yeah, I'd like to have been around when that hiring decision was rehashed.

[Will Hay]

I once got so wankered on one particular New Years Eve I shit the bed (in my girlfriends sisters bed - she was away, and I was staying at my girlfriends parents house, my girlfriend was in another room).

I've never been that drunk, before or since.
I was quite young, 19 I think
That girlfriend is now....
...MY WIFE!!!
And yes, she does know about it, she stumbled across me that very night taking the shit-stained bedclothes downstairs
You know, having just re-read that I've come to the conclusin there's some things you shouldn't share.
Will Hay