10 Reasons to Switch...

[[*]_BonKerS_[*]]

Compare to the 10 reasons to switch found on the apple website www.apple.com/switch this is just a joke that a friend and I had that I took to the next level, enjoy! BTW, I LOVE MY MAC

Top 10 Reasons to Switch to Apple:

1. The Mac... it just works.
You may have tried the rest, but when it comes to sheer computing power Macintosh is by far the best. Just take it out of the box and you will be up and running in no time. Whether it is typing up a paper or downloading Buttman's Anal Adventure # 24 from the internet, the Macintosh is sure to handle it. We also include tons of expensive crap that the rest of the marketplace has even yet to offer, such as Gigabit Ethernet. This ethernet card is so fast and expensive that no one in their right mind would create a network with it, but at least you know that if your ethernet card got into a brawl with other ethernet cards it would not only win, but fight dirty.

2. It doesn't crash
PC users might remember the 'blue screen of death,' well say no more. Underneath the already powerful architecture of Mac OSX is a program called iPimp that monitors your computer 24 hours a day, making sure that it is performing up to par. If a program starts to slow down iPimp goes to work and literally whips it in back into shape until it not only uses all available processor power but all of the processor power that it can steal and cheat from other computers. OSX is also based on UNIX, but most people don't even know what this is, especially the girls that buy Macs to match their wardrobe.

3. Simply the best in digital music
iTunes turns your computer into the ultimate music machine and allows you to harness your anal retentiveness by organizing your mp3 collection to a point of extreme insanity. And with seamless integration with the iPod you can carry all your music with you at all times. No longer will you be embarrassed for listening to 'NSYNC CDs because now you can conceal them alongside all of Jay-Z's CDs, making you infinitely less homosexual. Besides, owning the iPod adds three inches to erect men and one full breast size to women (improvements may very depending on iPod size).

4. The missing link in digital photography
Everyone likes taking pictures, but if you are too much of a Jew to get film developed then your artistic abilities will not shine through. With a digital camera and iPhoto you not only eliminate your Jewness but also have the anal retentive abilities found in iTunes. iPhoto lets you categorize your pictures according to whatever you want. And with the features such as red eye reduction and friend remover you can knock out those creepy red eyes and your ex-best friend that fucked your girlfriend while you were at a Star Trek convention one weekend, all with one click. And because there are no actual negatives or prints to get misplaced you can feel free to take as many nude pictures of yourself as you want, iPhoto does not ridicule.

5. Your own digital entertainment center
Designed and built for today's digital lifestyle, the Mac offers a complete ensemble of digital tools. With award winning programs such as iMovie and iDVD you can edit your homemade masturbation tapes, add cheesy music and then put it on DVD for your private viewing pleasure. With Mac everything is simple.

6. Goes everywhere you go
We think computing on the go should always be a first-class experience as if you were using a desktop, which is why we have the 54" iBook and 83" Powerbook. Why hassle with monitors that strain your eyes when you can see everything with our high definition projection screen portables? Weighing only 20 pounds and 40 pounds, respectively, and starting at the low price of $18,000 who wouldn't want to take their computer where ever they went?

7. It's built for the Internet
Don't you hate actually configuring your computer, you lazy bastard? Well the Mac figures out what you are connected to and automatically configures it for you. And if you aren't even connected to the internet the Mac the Mac will just "figure things out" and get you there. We don't care how we get you on the information super highway, but just understand that you WILL get there. And if you purchase a separate Airport card you can effortlessly drive around your city and use other peoples internet connections for free and download porn from the safety of your locked closet where no parent will find or suspect you.

8. Office is Office, and then some
The best thing about a Mac is that you can easily use your PC work files using Microsoft Office. And although the price may be a little high you can no doubt find it being pirated on every illegal channel available. A direct download link to pirate the software is also available on the Apple website for your convenience.

9. Works effortlessly with PCs
Although the Mac supports networking with other PCs your network admin will most likely not know how to wire it to the LAN because he has been awake for the past five days playing some type of Quake like game. So even though you could make your Mac work good luck actually having it actually happen.

10. It's beautiful
We hired a team of homosexual interior decorators to design the mac so that it not only fit in with your home but acted as a conversation piece. And because white and silver go with everything we think that your home will almost appear renovated with your new computer addition. Don't worry, you don't have to be gay to own one, but it helps.

[[*]_BonKerS_[*]]

btw, I am Jewish and mean everything in here as a Joke. I am not trying to offend anyone...

[jbcandkc]

So BonKerS, is your girlfriend hot? And when is the next Star Trek convention?

jbcandkc

[jo-jo ma]

_BonKerS_[*]]Compare to the 10 reasons to switch found on the apple website www.apple.com/switch this is just a joke that a friend and I had that I took to the next level, enjoy! BTW, I LOVE MY MAC

Top 10 Reasons to Switch to Apple:

1. The Mac... it just works.
You may have tried the rest, but when it comes to sheer computing power Macintosh is by far the best. Just take it out of the box and you will be up and running in no time. Whether it is typing up a paper or downloading Buttman's Anal Adventure # 24 from the internet, the Macintosh is sure to handle it. We also include tons of expensive crap that the rest of the marketplace has even yet to offer, such as Gigabit Ethernet. This ethernet card is so fast and expensive that no one in their right mind would create a network with it, but at least you know that if your ethernet card got into a brawl with other ethernet cards it would not only win, but fight dirty.

2. It doesn't crash
PC users might remember the 'blue screen of death,' well say no more. Underneath the already powerful architecture of Mac OSX is a program called iPimp that monitors your computer 24 hours a day, making sure that it is performing up to par. If a program starts to slow down iPimp goes to work and literally whips it in back into shape until it not only uses all available processor power but all of the processor power that it can steal and cheat from other computers. OSX is also based on UNIX, but most people don't even know what this is, especially the girls that buy Macs to match their wardrobe.

3. Simply the best in digital music
iTunes turns your computer into the ultimate music machine and allows you to harness your anal retentiveness by organizing your mp3 collection to a point of extreme insanity. And with seamless integration with the iPod you can carry all your music with you at all times. No longer will you be embarrassed for listening to 'NSYNC CDs because now you can conceal them alongside all of Jay-Z's CDs, making you infinitely less homosexual. Besides, owning the iPod adds three inches to erect men and one full breast size to women (improvements may very depending on iPod size).

4. The missing link in digital photography
Everyone likes taking pictures, but if you are too much of a Jew to get film developed then your artistic abilities will not shine through. With a digital camera and iPhoto you not only eliminate your Jewness but also have the anal retentive abilities found in iTunes. iPhoto lets you categorize your pictures according to whatever you want. And with the features such as red eye reduction and friend remover you can knock out those creepy red eyes and your ex-best friend that fucked your girlfriend while you were at a Star Trek convention one weekend, all with one click. And because there are no actual negatives or prints to get misplaced you can feel free to take as many nude pictures of yourself as you want, iPhoto does not ridicule.

5. Your own digital entertainment center
Designed and built for today's digital lifestyle, the Mac offers a complete ensemble of digital tools. With award winning programs such as iMovie and iDVD you can edit your homemade masturbation tapes, add cheesy music and then put it on DVD for your private viewing pleasure. With Mac everything is simple.

6. Goes everywhere you go
We think computing on the go should always be a first-class experience as if you were using a desktop, which is why we have the 54" iBook and 83" Powerbook. Why hassle with monitors that strain your eyes when you can see everything with our high definition projection screen portables? Weighing only 20 pounds and 40 pounds, respectively, and starting at the low price of $18,000 who wouldn't want to take their computer where ever they went?

7. It's built for the Internet
Don't you hate actually configuring your computer, you lazy bastard? Well the Mac figures out what you are connected to and automatically configures it for you. And if you aren't even connected to the internet the Mac the Mac will just "figure things out" and get you there. We don't care how we get you on the information super highway, but just understand that you WILL get there. And if you purchase a separate Airport card you can effortlessly drive around your city and use other peoples internet connections for free and download porn from the safety of your locked closet where no parent will find or suspect you.

8. Office is Office, and then some
The best thing about a Mac is that you can easily use your PC work files using Microsoft Office. And although the price may be a little high you can no doubt find it being pirated on every illegal channel available. A direct download link to pirate the software is also available on the Apple website for your convenience.

9. Works effortlessly with PCs
Although the Mac supports networking with other PCs your network admin will most likely not know how to wire it to the LAN because he has been awake for the past five days playing some type of Quake like game. So even though you could make your Mac work good luck actually having it actually happen.

10. It's beautiful
We hired a team of homosexual interior decorators to design the mac so that it not only fit in with your home but acted as a conversation piece. And because white and silver go with everything we think that your home will almost appear renovated with your new computer addition. Don't worry, you don't have to be gay to own one, but it helps.

11. My status symbol

I'm incredibly wealthy, and using freeware is not only uncouth but, well, doesn't cost anything. Why encode fast and flawless on a PC for free, when you can spend an additional $15,000 to do the same on a MAC?