POLL: Single ply or two ply toilet paper?

[zzyzzx]

Which type of toilet paper do you use at home?

[bilbogod]

Well dude, I guess most would agree that using some would be better than none. Well they are wrong !!
Every year I spend 3 months out in Thailand where I rarely make use of toilet paper. Why?? Because dietary problems will see even the most hardened curry quaffer reduced to a dribbling bowel belcher in the face of heat, different foods and air borne bacteria. To anyone who thinks that this is disgusting there is a simple test that you can perform to prove otherwise. We'll call this the "Crack Test":-
Take 2 bums, 1 that has been wiped with paper and 1 that has been washed with soap and water. Insert the cleft of your hand into each and sniff. Which do you think is the cleanest??
Its a simple matter of chemistry; Wash or Wipe. I know which I prefer everytime.
p.s. Shit does not stick to your hand, that is simply a lie

[bilbogod]

Btw - In England we have this brand called "Izal" which should have been made illegal long ago. It closely resembles tracing paper and was created by sadists skilled in the art of arse skin removal on little boys and girls. Luckily I managed to get my dad to ban it at the school that I was then going to.

[wellmashed]

ROFLMFAO @ Bilbo...

Nice one dude...

Sorry but I havent had that pleasure m8.

I use 2 ply but it has to be DECENT QUALITY stuff.
Andrex or equivelent.

That way your fingers don't go through......

[wellmashed]

Yemman !!!!!! Totally agree on the IZAL stuff......

You better believe that even newspaper is better.

I used to take my own bog roll to school.

[bilbogod]

Hey dude I only just realised you've got your own site.... I think I'm gonna sign up shortly

[wellmashed]

Nice one matey....but I don't know how much longer my interest will continue in it coz there are only a handfull of members at the moment and there have been no posts over the last few days.

If people don't start registering soon it's just gonna burn out.

Have you any idea how hard it is to advertise a site without spamming LOL.

[bilbogod]

Maybe you should try putting in about eight million meta tags of porn material to get everyone who uses search engines

[wellmashed]

Don't think I can do that m8.
I only run the site....It's hosted by someone else.One of them free forum hosts.
I can't even put someone elses banner on there.....

[tigerwolf]

while a nice washed bum is a nice thing, it isn't always convenient. I always go with 2-ply, cus 1 ply you might as well be using your hand.

Hey I think I recognize the toilet paper you described bilbo. I think they use it at all the wal-marts here in america.

I've come to like places that are not part of a chain, nice mom and pop place, cus they always seem to have the best tp in the rest rooms. LOL.
You'd think the big chain stores could afford better tp in the restrooms.

On a point of hygiene, given bilbo brought this up. But on a little different avenue here. A buddy pointed out to me, that its funny how we set things up. Okay you turn on the water to wash your hands, but then you use your nice hygienically cleaned hands to touch the dirty faucet to turn it off, then you use the same clean hands to use the hand dryer or paper towel dispenser, then you use the same clean hands to open the door to leave. So how clean are they by the time you get out of the restroom. Especially when you consider how many people didn't wash their hands and touched the same door you just opened.

[khelms]

I don't even want to think how this might relate to video!

[leebo]

Well, I think I have the answer to everyones problems.
They're now selling "wet toilet paper" here in the US.
And believe me, if you have a hairy crack, you'll really appriciate this stuff. How many times have I wiped and wiped, only to find there's still more? I call that the never ending wipe, or wipe till you bleed.

BTW, Tigerwolf brings up an interesting point. Let me take it a step further:

If you go into a public W\C, and someone's already in there taking a sh**, you smell it, right?

Now, how does the smell travel from the persons ass to your nose? There has to be actual particles of matter in contact with your nostrols in order for you to smell anything. This means small particles from the guy's colon have traveled in the air to make contact with your nose membranes and lungs! Part of his DNA is merging with yours.

Try washing that off!

[wellmashed]

I don't even want to think how this might relate to video!

It dosen't.....Not in the slightest.
Unless your intending to go and capture 30 seconds of your life wiping your arse.

That might be why this was posted in the 'OFF TOPIC' section of vcd-help.

Off Topic generally meaning anything that has nothing to do with vcd.

Fit's quite well don't you think..........

[wellmashed]

Or did I read it wrong???

[zzyzzx]

They're now selling "wet toilet paper" here in the US.
And believe me, if you have a hairy crack, you'll really appriciate this stuff. How many times have I wiped and wiped, only to find there's still more? I call that the never ending wipe, or wipe till you bleed.

That's when you wish you were home and could jump into the shower instead of wiping.

[DiViNeLeFT]

i choose to buy 2 ply and then separate the 2 different plys... it is like a buy one get one free sale every time you do it!!!

[bilbogod]

he he.... I was just thinking that there is nothing worse than sitting down in a public toilet only to realise that the paper has run out. Your faced with a dilemma, what can you do?? Do you chip it off, tear up your boxershorts and wipe with these or just indulge in the mediative art of spincter relaxation. To those who dont know what this is, then let me explain. When taking a dump, the mess is usually caused by your muscles contracting and then retracting before youve fully empted your Hershey Highway. In theory and with a precise amount of relaxation you should be able to clear the crevice without any problems. I think dogs do this, although just to be on the safe side they usually drag there arse along the ground for good measure. Try doing this in your public toilet and watch the stares.....

[bilbogod]

If you go into a public W\C, and someone's already in there taking a sh**, you smell it, right?

Now, how does the smell travel from the persons ass to your nose? There has to be actual particles of matter in contact with your nostrols in order for you to smell anything. This means small particles from the guy's colon have traveled in the air to make contact with your nose membranes and lungs! Part of his DNA is merging with yours.

Try washing that off!

Yeah, its even worse when youve got a whole mouthful of food and it rapidly becomes tainted by a rectal vapour trail

[twonabomber]

you guys actually take a shit in a public restroom? damn. i gave that up years ago...

[adamthole]

Same here, I only go publicly if it is an absolute emergency.

[Romper]

This was a relevant joke about 15 years ago.

Down under there were some pretty horrid types about (eg Bilbogod and the "IZAL" type). They commonly were referred to as Paul Hogan paper, they were rough, they were tough and didn't take sh*t from anyone!!

[zzyzzx]

[d4n13l]

I use quad-ply if available - only the best for my ring-piece.

On a similar topic, who has seen that Jackass episode with the crap on the self cleaning toilet seat? Priceless.

[bilbogod]

You see this is what usually happened when I was In Thailand

http://www.angelfire.com/sk/joelsuchan/images/crap10.jpg

[d4n13l]

Reminds me of Trainspotting.

[bilbogod]

dude I don't know how to get this particular image to display itself for the benefit of everyone reading this thread?? Seems to have some kind of prevention

[zzyzzx]

dude I don't know how to get this particular image to display itself for the benefit of everyone reading this thread?? Seems to have some kind of prevention

I think all the free hosting sites are doing this. You have to put the picture on a webpage then provide a link to the webpage. Alternately, you could rename the file .txt instead of .jpg or .gif and then when you post the image you post the .txt file, as if it were a .jpg. I personally havce not gotten that to work yet but I inderstand that it does. It sucks when they do this.