My most recent M$ fiasco/saga [longwinded RANT!]

[Xylob the Destroyer]

My employer has a deal worked out with Microsoft that allows them to offer employees the latest versions of MS Office at incredibly discounted prices. Through this Microsoft Home Use Program, I was able to obtain Office 2007 Enterprise Edition for only $21.28 – that’s well over a $500.00 savings. Not a bad deal at all.
I bought Office 2003 Professional through this same program and got an even bigger savings. I love Office ’03 and was stoked to be getting ’07……

When my shiny new disc came in the mail, I quickly stuck it in my DVD-ROM and got an error…. ‘You must have Windows XP or higher to install this software’.
Damn, looks like I’m finally gonna have to let go of Win2K.
No problem, CompUSA had an upgrade disc for XP Home that included SP2, only $99.99. I’ll still be getting quite a value for my Office upgrade at the additional $100.

First thing Saturday morning, I stick my shiny new XP disc in my PC only to get yet another error. ‘You cannot upgrade to XP from your current OS’.
WHAT?!?!
Well, let’s take a look at the box here…. Sure enough, it says right on the box that you can upgrade from 98, 98SE, Millennium, and XP (why in the hell would you upgrade from XP to XP?). Doesn’t say a word about Win2K.
Let’s waste some time searching microsoft.com. After about an hour of searching, I can’t find jack. Next step, call Tech Support.
After an hour on the phone with 3 different techs, I get a ‘supervisor’ who tells me that you cannot upgrade to a “Home” version of any OS from a “Pro” version of any OS. As Win2K was only available as a Pro version, I cannot upgrade from Win2K to XP Home. Similarly, if I had XP Pro, would not be able to upgrade to Vista Home. He suggested, (as did LordSmurf) that I purchase XP Pro instead. Sorry, but I’ve already opened this software, which means I cannot return it, but more importantly, XP Pro costs twice what Home does and I know from using it at work that there is no way in hell that I will get double the value out of it. Other than some fancier networking capabilities and a Group Policy editor Pro offers me nothing over Home.

Clean install is now my only option. Time to back up all my shit, multiple times of course. Now that I have all my important stuff saved on a 2ndary hard drive, 2 flash drives, and burned to a DVD, I’m ready to install XP.
But wait, I know from having to switch PC’s at work a few times that XP has this nifty little toy called the “Files and Settings Transfer Wizard”, or F.A.S.T. that is pretty slick. Let’s see if we can find any info about that in the booklet that came with my install disc shall we?
Sure enough, right there on page 8 – “ ‘Can I save or use my current Windows settings in XP?’ Yes! Use the Files and Settings Transfer tool on your installation disc. Insert the disc in your CD-ROM and instead of choosing ‘Install XP’, choose ‘other activities’ and then select the Transfer tool.’ “ “The XP settings transfer tool can be used with ’95, ’98. ‘98SE, Millennium, Win2K, NT, and XP”.
Hot damn!! Let’s run that sucker.
Run the wizard, save my settings to a flash drive as well as the 2ndary HD and then I remember that Office 2003 has a similar tool. The “Microsoft Office 2003 Save My Settings Wizard”.
Let’s fire that bad boy up too! Ran the wizard, saved my Office shit to a flash drive as well as the 2ndary drive.

Man, I’m ready to go now. I’ve got all my bases covered – I’ve backed up all my files multiple ways with 1:1 file copy as well as the XP tool, done the same for my Office stuff, and used their slick little tools to save all my settings too.
Lets wipe this drive and install some XP!!

Boot from CD, install XP.
Good to go. Go to Windows Update. Install approximately 75 updates, ignore a good 20-30 bullshit ‘updates’.
Look at me Ma, I’m runnin’ XP on my office PC!
Time to run that F.A.S.T. tool. Start > Programs > Accessories > System Tools > where the hell is it? Hmmmmm…. Start > Help and Support, search for Files and Settings Transfer.
No results found? WTF!!!
Let’s waste another hour searching microsoft.com. Yup, that was a waste.
Let’s try running it from the install disc. Fire it up from the disc, doesn’t like the data on my flash drive. That’s OK, I’ve got it on my #2 HD. “The data you are trying to restore was created with an older version of this tool. Please use the Transfer tool found on your XP installation disc.”.
!!!!!!!!
I AM using the version of the tool on the installation disc!!!!
Let’s try it again, one of the options was to use a Wizard floppy disc. Created a floppy, fire it up, doesn’t like the flash drive either. Point it to the HD, “The data you are trying to restore was created with an older version of this tool. Please use the Transfer tool found on your XP installation disc.”.
You gotta be ******* kidding me………

Call Tech Support again. First tech doesn’t know what the hell I’m talking about.
Transfer me to new tech. Akki knows what the problem is, you see “XP Home doesn’t have the F.A.S.T. tool.”
“Really Akki? Then why is it on the installation disc.”
“Sir, it is only on the Pro disc.”
“No, it is on the Home disc I purchased. I know this because I used it to create the back-up data.”
“No sir, you must have used your Pro disc to create the back-up data.”
“I DON’T HAVE A ******* PRO DISC!”
“Now I’m on hold for 30 minutes.”
Akki comes back after ‘researching’ the issue.
Akki know what the problem is (again).
For whatever reason, he is stuck on networking issues.
I repeatedly tell him that is not the issue.
He won’t get off the networking issue.
“Akki, I do not have a network.”
“Sir, you must set up a network in order to transfer the files from your old PC.”
!!!!!!!!!
“There is no old PC, Akki. No network, and only 1 PC.”
“Please hold sir.”
On hold for another 20 minutes.
“Sir, can you please check the network connections on both of your PC’s?”
“Akki, you’re really starting to piss me off now.”
“Sir, there is no need for that type of language, I am simply trying to help you.”
“You’re not listening to me”
“Sir, I am listening to you. I understand the problem now, I just need you to check your network connections.”
“You are not listening to me, otherwise you would know that I don’t have a network or another PC because I already told you that. More than once.”
“………”
“Akki, do you know what the “Files and Settings Transfer Wizard” in Windows XP is?”
“Yes sir.”
“I would like you to tell what it is.”
“Sir?”
“Please explain to me what it is, what it’s for, and how to use it.”
“Yes sir, can you hold for a moment?”
“NO I CAN’T hold while you look it up! You told me you knew what it was. You’re obviously lying to me. If you don’t know something, just say so. This whole process will go much easier if you’re honest with me instead of making shit up.”
CLICK.
Akki has hung up on me……

It takes me another 45 minutes to get a person on the phone again.
Rakesh will be helping me now.
Rakesh also does not know what the F.A.S.T. tool is. He puts me on hold for 50 minutes while he researches what the tool is.
Rakesh now knows what the problem is and walks me through the process of using the tool.
“The data you are trying to restore was created with an older version of this tool. Please use the Transfer tool found on your XP installation disc.”
“Sir, you will need to inert your XP installation disc into the old PC and use the Transfer tool that is on your disc. It is newer than the one you used.”
“Rakesh, there is no other PC, and I DID use the tool on my XP Home disc.”
“Can I put you on hold for a moment?”
“………” (seething with anger)
“Sir?”
“I’ll hold.”
Over the next half hour, Rakesh repeatedly comes on the line to tell me that he is researching and will be right with me.
Eventually he comes back and tells me that because I backed-up a Pro OS, I will have to convert the saved data into something that the Home edition of XP can use. He sends me an email with directions on how to do this, but fails to tell me where to get the conversion program.
I tell him as much and he emails that to me as well. I am using my web-mail because I still haven’t installed Office (wasn’t that the whole point of this ‘journey’?). I am now using web-mail with NO anti-virus protection. YAY!!!
I get the tool, run it according to his directions and nothing happens.
He left out 2 steps in the procedure……
I follow the full instructions, nothing happens.
Clearly, I must be an idiot. Rakesh now wants to take control of my machine.
“Go for it dude!”.
Rakesh is now in control.
He starts at the beginning, follows all the same steps that I did, and gets the exact same result. Nothing. He does this again, and again, and again.
“Sir, may I put you on hold for a moment?”
“Whatever…”
He comes back. Rakesh now knows what the problem is (that sounds familiar!).
Rakesh is still in control. Whatever he is doing, it looks like something is actually happening!
Tons of files are now being created. TONS! The booklet did say that when the wizard was used on the new PC, the resulting temporary files would take up approximately 4 times as much space as the original data. I don’t know if that’s 4 times the space of the back-up file (just over 1G) or 4 times the space of all my Win2K installation (just under 10G). Either way, it doesn’t matter, I’ve got 80G of space.
“Error. There is not enough room to create the files”
Son of a bitch….
Rakesh is still in control. He pokes around my HD, sees plenty of room and deletes all the new files that were created. Then he starts over. Tons of files are now being created. TONS!
It finishes this time, and now Rakesh is running the F.A.S.T. tool. Nothing is happening.
Rakesh emails me another .exe, uses my web-mail (which I had left open) to get the file and starts dicking around with a command prompt.
Nothing is happening.

Now, the commonly accepted definition of insanity is something along the lines of ‘repeatedly performing the same actions or set of actions without change but expecting a different result each time’.
I watched Rakesh do the exact same thing again, and again, and again for over an hour. Nothing happened, every time. Nothing. After about the first 10 minutes, he put me on hold, so I had no audio, I just watched him inputting the same commands over and over.
It was now 4:30PM. I began my grand adventure at 7:30AM.
I disabled the connection allowing him access to my PC figuring that he would come back on the line. 20 minutes later, I’m still on hold.
I hung up and went to the pub.

Sunday morning and time for a fresh start.
I have given up on F.A.S.T. and resigned myself to the fact that I will have to manually restore all of my files and, unfortunately, have to re-install all the programs that I had on my PC.
Later for that, let’s install Office 2007! That’s what this is all about, right?
I stick the shiny new Office disc in my DVD-ROM and fire it up. I am impressed with how quickly and easily the process goes.
Now, lets fire up the “Microsoft Office Save My Settings Wizard”! Start > Programs > Microsoft Office > Microsoft Office Tools > where the hell is it?
Well after searching the Office ‘07 site, I can’t find shit about it (I do find it on the Office ’03 site…).
Apparently, Office 2007 does not have this tool/option.
Well, I guess I’ll just un-install ’07, install ’03, run the tool and then upgrade Office instead of a clean install.
Not my first choice, but I don’t really have a choice, do I?
Uninstall ’07, install ’03, run tool. Flawless.
Let’s upgrade to ’07.
It gets about 95% done and says “Unknown error. Office 2007 cannot be installed. This application will now roll-back your settings and restore your previous Office installation.”. There is only one button to click, so I click “OK” and watch it roll-back.
It gets almost all the way done and says “Unknown error. Roll-back was not successful. Office is not installed”.
WHAT?!?!?
Sure enough, Office is gone. The shortcuts and shit are still in Programs, but none of it works.
Add/Remove Programs gets rid of the remnants and now I’m stuck.
I guess I’ll do a clean install of 2007 and then just stick my .pst files in the folder and go from there.
NOPE!
“Outlook cannot use the .pst files specified.”
No tech support for me on this one. It’s free for email and phone support for Windows, but it costs $99.00 per email and $299.00 for phone support with Office.

So now I’m running Office 2003 with XP Home.

The best part? I don’t have a land line. I can’t wait to get my next cellular bill………

[lordsmurf]

Another option would have been to do a full install of Windows XP inside of VirtualPC 2004 (free from MS), and then install office inside of that. You could have kept 2000. Sorry I didn't think of it sooner.

[jman98]

That sucks, dude! If you don't get too crazy with macros and specialized stuff, you might want to check out Open Office, which is free. Go to:
http://www.openoffice.org
I run it at home by choice. I like it. It works fine for me to have Office compatibility with it because I don't use the esoteric features in Office that are a bit difficult to emulate. Open Office doesn't start very fast, which causes some people to freak out, but if you can live with slow start up times, it does work pretty well.

[lordsmurf]

You also have more patience than me. I'd have hung up after 30 minutes and simply said "**** it" and gone back to Windows 2000 and thrown the Office 2007 disc in a drawer.

[Xylob the Destroyer]

Another option would have been to do a full install of Windows XP inside of VirtualPC 2004 (free from MS), and then install office inside of that. You could have kept 2000. Sorry I didn't think of it sooner.

C'est la vie.....

In regards to the patience issue: No, I'm actually an incredibly impatient person.
At the same time, I'm very bull-headed and once I've decided I'm going to do something, I'm damn sure gonna do it. I'll see it through to the bitter end.
My old lady says I'm just plain crazy. Mebbe she's right.

[Marvingj]

Microsoft techs are essentially stupid. I would make a formal complaint, if that not quick enough. There are other places to get a Full upgrade without that much cost such as Ebay & some discount software clearance. Sorry to see they screw you Bud...

[stiltman]

Sounds like a real bummer. You should have tried my method of saving your data and settings.

BTW, the MS transfer setting wizard has never worked for me. I tried it several times with several different versions....

[thecoalman]

I understand your pain...

I went through a similar fiasco a short while ago with comcast, was only getting half the speed I was supposed too. Get tech support "Yes you are correct the speed is wrong but this is a billing problem" .........<over to billing> Billing: "Yes you have the premium plan" Me "But im not getting the correct speed" Billing: "Well that's a tech problem" <back to tech> .... <back to billing>;...<<back to tech>....<disconnected>...<hung up on>.... round and round I go. Anyhow finally got a billing supervisor on the phone after about 2 hours and actually did what I suggested and contacted a tech while I was on the phone and what do you know it was fixed.

[BJ_M]

i like office 2003 better anyway

[stiltman]

I understand your pain...

I went through a similar fiasco a short while ago with comcast, was only getting half the speed I was supposed too. Get tech support "Yes you are correct the speed is wrong but this is a billing problem" .........<over to billing> Billing: "Yes you have the premium plan" Me "But im not getting the correct speed" Billing: "Well that's a tech problem" <back to tech> .... <back to billing>;...<<back to tech>....<disconnected>...<hung up on>.... round and round I go. Anyhow finally got a billing supervisor on the phone after about 2 hours and actually did what I suggested and contacted a tech while I was on the phone and what do you know it was fixed.

Comcast just went through a major billing system overhaul. They screwed up 5 of my workplace accounts that all had static IPs tied to them. It took them 4 days to get them back online. Best thing to ask for the next time you have problems, the config file for your modem.
Most of the time it's the same as your account number, but sometime it's not. BTW, I now have the "mso" (not the "cusadmin" account) login and the tftp sever Comcast uses, so basically, I do the tech support without contacting them at all I generally have to reset one of the modems every few months or so

[Xylob the Destroyer]

i like office 2003 better anyway

great.....

Oh well, my old lady is wanting to buy a laptop for her college courses, so I figured if I couldn't get this shit straightened out I would just keep 2003 on my PC and put the 2007 on her laptop.

It seems like every other version of Office is a stinker anyway. I hated '97, loved 2000, HATED XP, love 2003...
What the hell is this 'Office Ribbon' I keep hearing about anyway?

[BJ_M]

funny enough i think the same thing exactly -- I hated office '97, loved 2000, HATED XP, love 2003..

[Seeker47]

Sounds like this is another example of "Welcome to the wonderful world of outsourced Tech Support !" Once they deviate even slightly from the script they've been given for a particular issue, they're totally lost. Which is why they keep taking you in circles with irrelevant details you've already told them do NOT apply.

I'm with jman98: Open Office has a lot to recommend it, and any time you can avoid a MS product, you are in much better shape and probably saving a lot of $$ to boot.

[kosekjm]

Hey there,

I have XP home and XP Home only. I've used the F.A.S.T. utility many times with great success. However, the last time it did not go so well and I'm wondering if you might have hit the same landmine that I did.

Apparently MS updated this utility for Vista. One of the updates that you downloaded (Because it happened to me) should have D/L'ed the F.A.S.T. update (Not sure what update it was or even what it is truly called). Well MS in its infinte wisdom has made the new program incompatible with older backups. So like I did I backed my files up with an old copy of F.A.S.T. and then when I updated my new install, I got the newer incompatable utility. When I went to restore my files I got the same message that you did. Thinking something must be wrong (and not quite realizing that it was the updates) I even spent another hour re-reinstalling my XP. Unfortunately I ran the automatic updater again. This time I happened to notice that one of the updates was for the F.A.S.T utility. By the time I noticed this however it was already installing. Sure enough once the updates were done, I couldn't restore my files.

Not wanting to re-re-reinstall XP, I tried uninstalling that update. No not that easy. So figured I'd try the System rollback utility and suprisingly that worked. It removed all of the updates that I had just applied (Including the F.A.S.T. update) and I was able to restore all of my files back to their original homes.

Now when I reinstall I restore my files first and then run the MS updates. Works for me, but may not elsewhere.

As for MS techs, they usually leave a lot to be desired.

[Nitemare]

As for MS techs, they usually leave a lot to be desired.

Let's be fair... MOST tech's leave a lot to be desired. The issue isn't exclusive to MS.

I appreciate the head's up on the F.A.S.T. utility. I was just backing up a bunch of stuff for similar transfers and now I will be prepared! You gotta love this kind of pre-emptive tech support, don't you?

[jimmalenko]

My employer has a deal worked out with Microsoft that allows them to offer employees the latest versions of MS Office at incredibly discounted prices. Through this Microsoft Home Use Program, I was able to obtain Office 2007 Enterprise Edition for only $21.28 – that’s well over a $500.00 savings. Not a bad deal at all.

My heartfelt commiserations, my man. But as they say "... If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is...".

As an IT Manager by trade, I make a point of stating as much first up whenever I need to ring tech support, be it for work or home. It tends to eliminate most of the truly dumb questions and ignorance.

I also find that calmly asking to speak to someone's supervisor when it becomes evident that the current tech is not being much assistance can work wonders as well. They generally tend to have a bit more pull.

There's also a prominent Australian Telco coughcoughtelstracoughcough who is renowned for outsourcing its tech helpdesk to India, and it regularly takes 3-5 transfers and about 30 minutes on hold before getting to someone who will actually help, despite pressing all the right buttons to get to the right department when using their IVR. And (without being racist) that is if you can understand them. I gotta chuckle though: Indians saying "G'Day mate" just cracks me up

I recently found a novel way around this though: Mention to the first person you speak to that they're the 4th person you've been directed to and that you're getting really jack of this lack of service. This seems to trigger some alarm bells in the mind of the operator as far as monitored calls go, and they tend to assist even if it isn't particularly their area.

[Xylob the Destroyer]

Asking for supervisors got me nowhere. As did asking for operator# or last name so I would have somehting to identify them other than first name.
Seriously, I doubt that there's only one "Vijay" working there...

I did receive 4 voice-mails and 5 emailsyesterday while I was at work from 'supervisors'. Of course, I was unable to actually get ahold of them on the phone when I got home, but I was more than happy to reply to the emails.

[thecoalman]

You ever hear the the .002 cents from Verizon?

http://verizonmath.blogspot.com/

On the right under the google ads.

[BJ_M]

that is hysterical, and a bit disturbing