The Geico radio ads have always baffled me that the writers actually thought they were funny. Now the new one just takes me for an idiot. I paraphrase:

CALIFORNIA-EDUCATED FEMALE VOICE: You know how your grandma sends you a birthday card, and she's good for like five bucks? Well imagine you have five hundred grandmas. It's kinda like that.

[ME: Huh? Five hundred grandmas? I'd have to be a whole new species for that. Either that, or my parents are getting divorced and remarried every other day. Is that what Geico insurance is like?]

RELAXED MALE VOICE: You know how you sometimes find a five dollar bill, and you feel really good about it? Well imagine that next to it, you find a four hundred ninety-five dollar bill as well. It's kinda like that.

[ME: Gee, it would be just like if I found five bucks, because 495-dollar bills are WORTHLESS. Is that what Geico is like, finding fake worthless money?]