Ricer, Redneck, or Moron: A Guide To Automotive Modification

[smearbrick1]

Do you have a friend who has a beat to hell 86 cavalier that should be shipped directly to the nearest salvage yard, but he refuses to stop sinking countless dollars into "performance parts" for his/her ride? Are you looking to modify your car but aren't sure what's rice and what's performance? Look no further.

This is a pet peeve of mine (I have a whole kennel full of pet peeves.) that need to be addressed.

If you even consider painting the leather interior of your car... you're a ricer.

If you paint any part of the interior of your car bright yellow... you're a ricer.

If your car is rusting to pieces and you are saving money to by that bi-level aluminum wing... you are a ricer.

If you have any type of interior light powered by the cigarette lighter... you're a ricer.

If you post a "powered by Toyota" sticker on your Toyota car (what else what it be powered by?)...you're a ricer.

If you post a "powered by HEMI" sticker on your Toyota car...you're a redneck.

If you have diamond plate floor mats (I always wanted a car that reminded me of a Peterbuilt)...you're a redneck.

If you buy a car (brand new) with a grey interior and immediately change it to black...you're insane.

If you use words like "trick" or "sick" to describe something you've done to your car...your're probably a ricer.

If you look at the Intake Tornado (whatever that thing is called) or the electric supercharger and say "I have to have one"... you are a ricer.

If you use the word "NOS" when telling someone you have Nitrous Oxide (i.e. "Dude, I've got NOS.") and don't realize that N-O-S is actually a company name and not the chemical formula for Nitrous Oxide - You are a moron (and potentially a ricer).

Any others?

[hech54]

If you have one of those "Piss on Ford" stickers on your Chevy.....or a "Piss on Chevy" sticker on your Ford....you're a mindless Nascar fan.

[enstg8er]

do you see those in germany?

[drjtech]

I like the Volkswagen UnPimp Your Ride commercial where the ricer says his hood scoop "sucks air into the engine".

"It sure is sucking."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCIF6JF1O5U

-drj

[hech54]

do you see those in germany?

I swear I saw something similar to those the other day
but I was too far away to read it correctly.

[hech54]

I like the Volkswagen UnPimp Your Ride commercial where the ricer says his hood scoop "sucks air into the engine".

"It sure is sucking."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCIF6JF1O5U

-drj

I love those commercials too...."Time to un-pimp ze auto"....

[Mr. Dweezel]

What if somebody has a Ford F-150, jacked up with 12" springs,
painted lime green, has blue neon underneath, has chrome spinning wheel covers,
has fuzzy dice hanging from the rearview mirror, has a 1000 watt stereo blasting rap,
and has a fart-can muffler?

Would they be a Redneck, Moron, Ricer, or just an escapee? :P

[hech54]

That depends...is that a 4x4 F-150?

[Mr. Dweezel]

[smearbrick1]

What if somebody has a Ford F-150, jacked up with 12" springs,
painted lime green, has blue neon underneath, has chrome spinning wheel covers,
has fuzzy dice hanging from the rearview mirror, has a 1000 watt stereo blasting rap,
and has a fart-can muffler? :o

Would they be a Redneck, Moron, Ricer, or just an escapee? :P

My wife's brother recently traded his 2001 Mustang for an F250 4x4. It has about a 6 inch suspension lift with a 6 inch body lift. It has Mickey Thompson super swampers at about 40 inches (maybe a little taller) all topped off with a massive stereo system. The last time he visited my house, he drove the monstrosity. Unfortunately for him, the truck only gets about 8 miles to the gallon and he lives about 500 miles away.

Moron/Redneck - you decide.

[Mr. Dweezel]

My wife's brother recently traded his 2001 Mustang for an F250 4x4. It has about a 6 inch suspension lift with a 6 inch body lift. It has Mickey Thompson super swampers at about 40 inches (maybe a little taller) all topped off with a massive stereo system. The last time he visited my house, he drove the monstrosity. Unfortunately for him, the truck only gets about 8 miles to the gallon and he lives about 500 miles away.

Moron/Redneck - you decide.

There's only one comment that can be said about that...

Git-R-Done :P :P

[Craig Tucker]

Thankfully I can answer no to all of those questions.

[hech54]

My wife's brother recently traded his 2001 Mustang for an F250 4x4.
Moron/Redneck - you decide.

If it was one of those wimpy 6(or even 4) cylinder Mustangs...I'd say GENUIS.

[smearbrick1]

Yes, it was the SE model (V6) Mustang. Something I will never understand about people who buy Mustangs - Why in the hell would you buy a 6 cylinder Mustang? Don't they understand the stigma involved in owning a 6 cylinder Mustang? That's like buying Ferrari 305 with an automatic transmission. To me, the only true Mustang is a V8 Mustang. Thankfully, Ford doesn't make a 4 cyclinder Mustang any longer.

[g_shocker182]

I'd buy a 6cyl in a heartbeat so long as I was buying a turbo kit simutaneously.

[b1tchm4gn3t]

shit...I must be a ricer! I put this on the back window of my Modified Eclipse.

[rallynavvie]

shit...I must be a ricer! I put this on the back window of my Modified Eclipse.

Indeed yes. Doubly so because it's a DSM :P

Has anyone seen the trailers for the new "Fast and Furious" movie? It's now set in Japan (I think) and the theme is drifting, which has been popular in Japan for quite a while but hasn't gained much in the US until a couple years ago. I'm liking what I'm seeing, and not for the reasons you may think. I abhor this series of movies, it spawned a whole wave of "import tuners" who are more interested in cheap, cosmetic modifications than really getting dirty with the car and spending some cash where it counts: under the hood.

Now this new movie is going to really irk those same "tuners". Most of them are running FWD imports. Watching a FWD car try to drift is like watching a dog drag its ass across the lawn. Not that this won't stop them from trying, mind you. And those with the RWD cars are going to try to do some of the stuff they see in the movie. Hopefully the AWD drivers know better than to powerslide their cars on anything that isn't an empty, frozen lake. But the reason I kinda like this new movie is because it is going to spur some idiots to try drifting. Drifting is tough, it is a VERY precise event and takes a lot of skill. We've had drifting events at our local high-speed road course events for a few years and I've tried my hand at it, in an AWD car no less. You really need a safe, closed course to do drifting. A parking lot doesn't cut it so much. You cannot do it on open roads at all with any semblence of safety whatsoever. This is far, far more dangerous than simply street racing. But that isn't going to stop some folks. And people are going to get hurt and/or killed doing it.

But then I'm a Darwinist 8)

[lordsmurf]

Ricer, Redneck, or Moron? Isn't that 3 of the same thing? 8)

[b1tchm4gn3t]

Indeed yes. Doubly so because it's a DSM

Oh no its not. Chrysler engine. 2.0 non-turbo with Mods. Gets high 10's in the quarter.

[smearbrick1]

Indeed yes. Doubly so because it's a DSM

Oh no its not. Chrysler engine. 2.0 non-turbo with Mods. Gets high 10's in the quarter.

I had a 96 Talon ESI with that same engine. God, was that a piece of shit. They had so many issues with head gaskets blowing on that engine it was ridiculous. I remember mine started blowing oil (at the rate of about a quart every two days) out the driver's side rear of the engine. I bought all of the parts to replace the head gasket, made an appointment to have the head cleaned, planed (if necessary), ported, polished, and a valve job. I pulled the valve cover and start to tear apart the cooling system... after about 1 and a half of tearing down and still not getting to the point where I could yank the head, I said "screw it" and put the whole thing back together. I took the car two days later and traded on a Supercharged Xterra.

That car was a classic case of all show (from the factory, I did nothing to it) and no go. That 2.0 Chrysler engine was a pile of shit. I should've had my head examined even thinking of buying that car. At least it was one mistake I could correct.

Did I mention that I think the car really sucked?

Anyway... any sticker that has that stupid kid on it whether peeing, jacking off, grabbing his crotch, or otherwise, is redneck moron.

[rallynavvie]

I had a 1G DSM with the turbo 4G63 in it which had 175k miles on it with the original turbo when I sold it. It was still running great when I left it. That engine is legendary, and lives on in the Evo. I can't imagine a 2.0 non-turbo 4 on a FWD car would ever ever approach anything like the times you mentioned. The traction issue alone keeps most FWD cars from ever attaining those speeds. And even then the car is pretty much modified as a drag car only and would look silly as hell driving down the street. If you had a car that made such times it would have been pretty famous in the DSM or tuner circuits. You must at least produce pictures of this monster for us.

[smearbrick1]

I had a 1G DSM with the turbo 4G63 in it which had 175k miles on it with the original turbo when I sold it. It was still running great when I left it. That engine is legendary, and lives on in the Evo. I can't imagine a 2.0 non-turbo 4 on a FWD car would ever ever approach anything like the times you mentioned. The traction issue alone keeps most FWD cars from ever attaining those speeds. And even then the car is pretty much modified as a drag car only and would look silly as hell driving down the street. If you had a car that made such times it would have been pretty famous in the DSM or tuner circuits. You must at least produce pictures of this monster for us.

Yeah, I don't see even a modded 2.0 Chrysler engine coming anywhere near 10's. Hell, there are V8s that don't even touch 10's, let alone a car with a Dodge Neon engine in it. We are talking 1/4 mile times, correct?

I'm going to have to call BS with reservation on this one.

Those 1st gen Eclipses and Talons with the turbo engines kicked some serious ass. If it wasn't for the lousy valve cover/valve cover gasket causing oil seepage all over the place, I would have one as my commuter car.

[b1tchm4gn3t]

Im just stating what I know as a fact, whether you all believe it or not. I didnt come here to be flamed and really could give a shit about what ANY of you think about this car. I was just trying to join in on the conversation. And Smearbrick, I cant help it you had a P.O.S. Was I the first to start getting rude? I mean, is there a point to the name calling? Noone even bothered to ask me any questions. Nice

[Craig Tucker]

Play nice or I will lock this thread

[rallynavvie]

I mean, is there a point to the name calling?

I thought it was the whole purpose of this thread

[b1tchm4gn3t]

I get the 'play nice'? figures.

[SquirrelDip]

I'm surprised is hasn't been locked a long time ago. Ricer and to some extent Redneck are certainly racist.