Anybody have any experience w/ Child Support / Modification???

[makntraks]

I know that it can be a private matter but were all pretty anonymous here. Anyway due to the job/economic scene here in the US I got behind on my child support obligation and no I don't need anyone assuming I'm a cad for doing so. The reality is that I am now making 1/2 of what I was when the original support order was filed, her income has more than tripled. I went ~8 months beginning 01/07 with no job to speak of. It wasn't for the lack of trying either! I did pick up one job , then another but I've been playing catch up just trying to keep a roof over my family's head, the lights on and food on the table..... Until 2007 I was on time and never later for close to 9 years. Anyway I filed for a modification (reduction) and the ex from hell immediately filed contempt for being behind so I am in a bit of a conundrum..... Without a long drawn out back story I was wondering if anybody had any experience in this area. Be it advice or info sites on the internets. As you might gather if I had money for legal I'd be caught up w/ my support as most attorneys in my area (central Fl - Tampa area) the average retainer fee is $5000.00

I'm guessing I might not get alot of input, but it's a topic I'm posting to see if others might share some info or personal experience which might benefit me and maybe some others in the community. So I pose this topic to the group here....

TIA if you can contribute, even a TIA for checking it out....... lets see what happens....

makntraks

[budz]

Unfortunately in most states the CHILD ENFORCEMENT AGENCIES are so backlogged. Do you qualify for LEGAL AID? They maybe able to give you free legal or a sliding fee basis for legal advice. I work with drug addicted families and I know for some who are in drug treatment they can defer the child support payments or lower it until they're able to work after their drug treatment is done.

[Supreme2k]

It is my understanding that you pay according to what you make (and most times, much lower). I've known guys who made $30k/yr and paid $10 a month.

Check on legal aid, lik budz mentioned. Go back to court and contest the support amount. I don't know anything about FL law, so I don't have a direct reference. Here in CA, her case gets weaker the more money she makes. Not sure how it is there, but you may be able to file some kind of distress or cost of living motion. If you have any custody of the kid(s), you have an even stronger case. Hell, if she's making more money than you, your case (should) gets better yet.

Have you suggested she re-marry (or just get married)?

Is/are the kid(s) near legal age? I've seen the courts let it "ride out" if they're close (15-16), so as not to "rock the boat".

Good luck!

[makntraks]

Have you suggested she re-marry (or just get married)?

Funny you should say that! She did get remarried several years ago.... to someone I've known since 1969
He was once my best friend growing up... As soon as I moved out he was already preparing for his move down here....

I'm not eligible for legal aid as they include all household income in making that decision and my current wife's income puts me over the limit. Two of my kids would MUCH rather live w/ me but are afraid that they'll hurt their moms feelings and I don't want to put them in the middle per se. If I could get "custody" of them I'd probably work on getting her to pay me!!

Anyway thanks for the info Sup! Nice to hear from you as I am only here sporadically. Hope all is well!

makntraks

[Supreme2k]

Actually, since you're both remarried, the child support should be nullified (by the both of you). You should get 50/50 custody (if you're close enough) so that there's no majority caretaker.

The bottom line is that she's a complete bitch (from what you've said) who will who will try to screw you whatever you do. If she has full custody, you're screwed as far as payments, but if you have full joint, she can't complain, since she's not "suffering" from he burden of partially supporting them.

That's why I would tell my wife that she better stick around until the kids are out, because I'm not going through a custody battle

My friend pays support to her husband because he bought her out of the house and has majority custody. When she remarried, she was going to have her daughter live with them, but her idiot new husband doesn't want to give up his den or "office" (porn room), which were both bedrooms. I told her that she picks nothing but winners

[makntraks]

Well I finally got myself primed to read "all" the paperwork from the mediation... signed by a Judge but from what I can tell he prolly just rubber stamped it. I can't believe that I am still ordered to file w/ my company a direct deposit that will take the $$ and send it to my ex... it's even gonna cost me $2 for each deposit + $5 to send her the money...

I expect to TAKE home for a month.... ? Put it this way, with what I'll have left in spendable income I couldn't even rent a room under a bridge....

Nice home for when I do get my kids (every other w/e).....

makntraks

[zzyzzx]

I agree with Supreme2k. BTW, child support laws are already on my long list of reasons not to have kids.

[zzyzzx]

edit

[disturbed1]

Child support laws vary state to state. Some of those states can be real Mo-Fo's about it.

In Ohio it is a felony offense to miss a single payment. My ex-brother-in-law who lived in Minnesota (Sister in Ohio) missed 2 payments because of switching jobs, and was extradited to Ohio because of it. My sister even made calls to the judge, child enforcement agency and attorneys. The CEA said it was their money, and they will obtain possession or he'll go to jail. No if ands or butts about it. She even attempted to have all child support claims dropped to help him out - no go. He was thrown in jail one other time for missed payments. Funny thing is, he mailed my sister money orders and wrote "Child Support" on the memo line, the CEA denied this as payment because it wasn't processed by them

She ended up moving to another state, and annulled the claim there.

It should be as simple as requesting a hearing and bring along your financial records. Here, child support is a set rate, something like 7-10% of yearly income paid bi-weekly.

My girlfriend's brother (Dead Beat Dad) had all of his real property seized, and thrown in Jail for 3 months for being delinquent. He now gets 50% of his weekly paycheck and no Income Tax return until he's caught up. He had a hearing to figure out how much he should currently be paying because of a new job, took 6 weeks for phone call to judgment. The back pay/missed payments stayed the same, but the new/current payments where reduced.

I'd just give them a call, or take a trip down there and ask some questions.

[makntraks]

So I received court orders from my mediation and it turns out that I not only have to give her $500 a month but I also have to file w/ my work for an income deduction of $1021 a month... Basically I'm left w/ ~$300 a month to do what I wish.... The "magistrate" didn't even consider that my income is 50% less than what it was and that her income has QUADRUPLED......

At this point I don't even have a pot to p*** in..... It's apparent that if you can't afford an attorney, you're screwed...

Geez.. if I had the money for an attorney I wouldn't be in this situation.....

Whats worse is that if I don't follow the order I will be facing time in jail... So basically I'll lose my home, my job and fall even further behind....

Go figure....

Updates as necessary... sucks that I'm going to have to rely on my folks... thank god they hate the bitch more than I do!

Thanks for the input....

makntraks

[zzyzzx]

Think of it as your punishment for being stupid enough to have kids.

[makntraks]

Think of it as your punishment for being stupid enough to have kids.

I'm gonna assume that you're being sarcastic.... if not you're a dick head.....

makntraks

[Supreme2k]

zzyzzx, did you forget the infamous incident of "someone" being banned for mentioning another member's kid? And that was just a random comment about Stiltman's avatar.


You do know that hindsight is 20/20, right? We all think that our girl's the greatest until she reveals her bitch side. They all have it, just in different degrees (as men have their bastard side).

Me and the missus have gone though our ups and downs, but kids are great, not "punishment". Besides, I'm not worried since we have one thing that can never be broken: a strong marriage built on a solid foundation of routine.

[MeDiCo_BrUjO]

...a strong marriage built on a solid foundation of routine.

For the rest, I agree with you 100%.

[zzyzzx]

You do know that hindsight is 20/20, right? We all think that our girl's the greatest until she reveals her bitch side. They all have it, just in different degrees (as men have their bastard side).

That's why you should ALWAYS use birth control.

[stiltman]

zzyzzx, did you forget the infamous incident of "someone" being banned for mentioning another member's kid? And that was just a random comment about Stiltman's avatar..

Kinda sounds real strange considering my current avatar
Yeah you're right though, at the time, it was a picture of my son.

I watched as things unfolded after my sisters divorce and my brother in law.

In both cases, they all pleaded to leave the kids out of it.

In both cases, the mothers used the kids against the dads. In both cases the dads gave more than 50% of their income. I've seen this with others to, but seeing it with family realy sucks.

[makntraks]

Hey all checking out this topic...

Found out that I got hosed due to the fact that I had to represent myself. Not only did I have time lines on 3 things meted out in the hearing or be incarcerated... It's been ordered that I continue paying support as was originally ordered, I have to pay an extra $500 for the next 3 months....

So lets do the math... Current take home per month net is ~2000 and out of that I have to pay $1500 for the next four months and my original support like I am supposed to. I am working toward a modification (reduction). I ffound an attorney that I felt was honest and was told it might be cheaper to continue to pay as opposed to laying out a retainer and that it might just be cheaper to pay what I am supposed to and bank my 5k.....

I have been told by 3 different attys. that the firm my ex has retained is "ruthless" to say the least. I also believe that since my ex does graphics design work for this law firm she was not required to come up w/ the retainer fee (5k or so) because of this...

Can't win for losing sometimes... I'd add more to the story but it doesn't get any better...

makntraks

[zzyzzx]

Another reason not to have kids:

http://www.philly.com/dailynews/features/20080225_Dear_Abby__Shes_afraid_her_new_hubby...ugly_kids.html

Dear Abby: She's afraid her new hubby will father ugly kids

DEAR ABBY: I am married but have two children, "Venus" and "Adonis," from a previous relationship.
These children are very good-looking, and I'm not just saying that because I'm their mom.

My husband, "Herman," is ready for us to start our own family soon.

Not to sound shallow, but Herman was not a very cute kid. He wore thick glasses and braces as a child.

Whenever I am asked by either Herman or his family if I think he was a cute baby, I lie.

I know I would love our babies as much as I do Venus and Adonis, but I'm afraid they will not be as cute, and that everyone will know my older children have a different father.

These worries are causing me to have doubts about having kids with Herman.

Am I that shallow?

Am I not in love enough with Herman because I'm scared our children will be . . . ugly?

This is killing me.

Herman wants to start trying for a family this summer.

Help!

- Worried About Genetics,

Clarksville, Tenn.

[zzyzzx]