I've been told twice to start my own forum, so...

[tekkieman]

As I have been told twice in the last week, at two different forums, that if I don’t like the rules, I should start my own forum, I have taken the advice and started my own forum. Membership for this forum will be by invitation only. If you have not yet received your invitation, it means either a) you are not invited, or b) I haven’t sent the invitation yet. Feel free to pick the option you prefer.

Membership will consist of only people I deem worthy of speaking to, plus one whipping boy for the membership’s pleasure.

Someone has already suggested that the site be a complete free-for-all, with no moderators, and only myself as the administrator. I like this idea for two reasons.

1) I never listen to anyone else’s opinions anyway (especially mods).
2) I like the thought of playing God.

However, unlike some others, I will not tell you there are no rules, and then later start imposing rules. So, to avoid complete anarchy, I have decided to set the following rules from day 1, and implement a card system (similar to VH). Following is the card structure and rules.

Politics – Political discussions will be ignored as you are obviously either a Republican or a Democrat, neither of which I have any use for.

Religion – Anyone denying that I am the Supreme Being will automatically receive 1 yellow card.

Flaming – Anyone caught flaming will receive one green card (See card structure for details). Only 5 people at a time are allowed to flame an individual. The sixth person will receive 1 yellow card, the seventh person 2 yellow cards, etc. In addition, for every person over the 5th, the flamee will receive 1 yellow card, as he must deserve it anyway.

Pornography – A special forum will be available for all pornography. Anyone complaining about porn will receive two yellow cards, as you must be gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that). Anyone posting gay porn featuring my likeness will receive 4 yellow cards. Anyone posting gay porn featuring the whipping boy’s likeness will have 1 yellow card removed. Anyone posting nude women with A cups will receive a yellow card. Women with B or C cups receive no penalty. Women with D cups or larger will earn the poster 1 green card, or 2 blues depending on my mood.

Warez – Discussions of warez are allowed via PM only! No exceptions! Anyone discussing warez will immediately receive a red card. Except, if it is a movie or piece of software that I really want, in which case the poster will receive 1 green card, and I will receive two yellow cards, which I will immediately remove.

Ok, so much for the rules. Here is how the card structure will work.

Cards will be issued based on the rules listed above.

Yellow cards - Each user will be allowed to accumulate 999 yellow cards, at which time a red card will be issued.

Red cards - Unlike other places, it will take 2 red cards to be banned. Any user receiving two red cards will either be banned immediately, or may feel free to continue being a member, as I have no time to be counting your freaking cards.

Green cards – Green cards will allow the user to go to Australia. No wait, different green card. Green cards may be accumulated as “get out of jail free” cards. However, for each 5 green cards banked, the user will receive 2 yellow cards, as you are obviously behaving yourself, and completely missing the point of my forum. The exception to this being blue cards.

Blue cards – Blue cards will be issued at random by the administrator, and will be banked along with green cards. Blue cards may be used as a “get out of jail free” card if no green cards are banked. However, on any given day, rather than be treated as a green card, I may opt to treat a blue card as 2 red cards (i.e. – Instant ban!).

Purple cards – As the administrator, I reserve the right to issue any user a purple card. A purple card will be issued if I have any reason to suspect you are gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that). Any user issued a purple card will be required to display the card as their avatar for a period of one week.


Exceptions to the card rules.

At any time I have a bug up my butt, I reserve the right to change the card structure based on the following formula:

1 / (2y * 4b) / (1r – 1p)*(3g * day-of-month) * 3.1415926

Where y = yellow cards, r = red cards, b = blue cards, g = green cards, and p = purple cards.

Feel free to PM Northcat_8 for assistance in solving this equation, as I just pulled it out of my ass (it was giving me hemorrhoids).

These rules have been put in place solely for my enjoyment. If you received an invitation, I hope you enjoy the site as much as I will. If not, piss off.





(the preceding has been provided as satire only....perhaps).

[northcat_8]

Pornography – A special forum will be available for all pornography. Anyone complaining about porn will receive two yellow cards, as you must be gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that). Anyone posting gay porn featuring my likeness will receive 4 yellow cards. ...

Welp...better get those yellow cards warmed up Tekkie

At any time I have a bug up my butt

That's a different kind of porn...but I think I can photochop something up for ya

1 / (2y * 4b) / (1r – 1p)*(3g * day-of-month) * 3.1415926

y = 7, b = 4, r = 3, p = 2.5, g = 37.324.....but only in a non-leap year 8)

[Doramius]

Will public banning be issued for showing Amish Porn?

[tekkieman]

Will public banning be issued for showing Amish Porn?

If they can't make a video, what do they do? Draw pictures and make it a flip-book?

[glockjs]

If you have not yet received your invitation, it means either a) you are not invited

[Capmaster]

Great post, tekkieman I'm still laughing from the PM

Draw pictures and make it a flip-book?

Stop ...please. My stomach already hurts ....

[Ripper2860]

Cap,

Could you please check my PM seetings? I believe there may be a problem, as I have not received my invite from Tekkie.

[Capmaster]

[makntraks]

If you have not yet received your invitation, it means either a) you are not invited

Double

makntraks

[stiltman]

Thanks for the invite tekkie

[Doramius]

Tekkie sent me the invisible invite. I almost missed it. Luckily, from Tekkie, I heard it coming. Or was that me passing gas again?

[Bodyslide]

I am working toward getting an invite before the Next Video is completed by TGPO..... Good one, if you can't read.

[yoda313]

Hello,

Membership will consist of only people I deem worthy of speaking to, plus one whipping boy for the membership’s pleasure

Hmm..... I didn't get an invite....... I thought EVERYONE in OT here picked on me??????



Kevin

[tekkieman]

Hello,

Membership will consist of only people I deem worthy of speaking to, plus one whipping boy for the membership’s pleasure

Hmm..... I didn't get an invite....... I thought EVERYONE in OT here picked on me??????



Kevin

VH OT wouldn't give you up. Sorry yado.

[yoda313]

Hello,

Membership will consist of only people I deem worthy of speaking to, plus one whipping boy for the membership’s pleasure

Hmm..... I didn't get an invite....... I thought EVERYONE in OT here picked on me??????



Kevin

VH OT wouldn't give you up. Sorry yado.

Hello,



Yep I'm VIDEOHELP property now I guess.....

YODA313 - copyright 2005 - videohelp.com



Kevin

[glockjs]

maybe we could have some sort of a draft to make things fair

[sacajaweeda]

Please include my name in your consideration for assistance with future eneavors into cyber fucktardedness.

AdD mE tOo Yore LitS, deWd.

okbye

[pyrate83]

Will public banning be issued for showing Amish Porn?

I'm sure the Menanites(sorry if it's spelled wrong) have the equipment but maybe not the knowledge to make good quality porn.