RIAA & MPAA Leave while WRAMPIA Enters Arena

[Doramius]

Some of you have already heard about this, but this is just a little more info. on the big merger. The sad truth is this may be a reality in early 2005.
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RIAA, MPAA merger plans


p2pnet.net News Exclusive:- Two thousand and four will go down as the year the entertainment industry went to the wall in an all-out bid to wipe out file sharing on the p2p nets. Permanently.


As part of the actions, two of the entertainment industry's principal faux police enforcement organizations are to merge, we can reveal.


The RIAA (Recording Industry Association of America) has been hammering p2p file sharers since September, 2003, and has so far sued 6,191 people without ever seeing one of its victims appear in court. And the MPAA (Motion Picture Association of America) has just mounted its own RIAA-style sue 'em all attack.


The entertainment industry finds it highly cost effective to subpoena men, women and children, fooling the mainstream media into believing file sharing is illegal, without ever having to actually prove a case before a judge.

Victims are all ordinary people with no financial or legal resources. They have no choice but to accept the entertainment industry's offer to 'settle'.


It's either that or take on the squads of highly paid, highly skilled lawyers fielded by the multi-billion-dollar recording and movie industries.


Now, instead of running separate actions, the RIAA and MPAA will merge their resources and staffs to become the World Recording and Motion Picture Industry Association (WRAMPIA, pronounced 'wrampia'), say industry sources.


Retiring IFPI boss Jay Berman will take up the post as chairman, RIAA president Cary Sherman will become WRAMPIA's first ceo and RIAA Mitch Bainwol will run the new organization's Reality Realignment and Fact Adjustment and Control Bureau (RRFACB, pronounced 'rrfacb').


Ex-MPAA boss Jack Valenti will be the new organization's cmo (chief misinformation officer).


"I was completely awed and amazed and totally surprised when I was asked to chair WRAMPIA," said Berman at the 'invitation only' Bahamas press conference to announce the new organization.

"I'm thrilled, excited, honoured and, well, simply stunned " said Bainwol.


"Now we'll be able to give the music and movie loving public around the world exactly what they deserve," said Sherman.


Remarked Valenti, "These online pirates think they've been getting away with it. Well, they have. But that's all going to stop. No longer will they be able to think that. And no longer will they be able to get away it. Those good old days are over."


In his first public statement, Berman said WRAMPIA will organize and fund its own US political party to help politicians and their staffs better understand the difficulties facing the entertainment industry as it strives to overcome online piracy, and the steps the Bush administration will need to take to combat it.


The First American Political Management and Persuasion Party (FAPMAPP, pronounced fapmapp), will be headquartered in Washington but will have fund-raising offices in principal capitals around the world, say sources.


Will a FAPMAPP party member eventually run for president? "Stranger things have happened," said Berman.

But for now, "Education is the answer," said Valenti. "Teachers will be able to use BitTorrent and other p2p applications such as Morpheus and Grokster to download and share our free immersive videos and colorful Mickey Mouse instruction booklets.

"Special legal teams will be available to school staffs to help them explain why our children should buy industry product exclusively and how that will help starving people everywhere.


"We'll also be launching a very special Kindergarten Awareness with the Business Software Association's warm and cuddly Willy the Weasel as the guide."


Sources say WRAMPIA will create an undercover Entertainment Industry Security and Investigation Unit (EISIU, pronounced 'eisiu').


"It will be manned by ex-police and special forces cadres and will work with national and international agencies such as the FBI, DoJ, DoHS, CIA, NSA, Scotland Yard and the SPCA to help them find and prosecute file sharing criminals everywhere on behalf of the entertainment industry," we were told.


In the US, WRAMPIA expects the new organization to be funded through special taxes levied under the GRASP (Get Revenues and Sue People) Act, which will be sponsored by senator Orrin Hatch.


Elsewhere, WRAMPIA operations will be financed through special charges on entertainment industry products.

Bainwol, Berman, Sherman and Valenti will appear in prime-time television public awareness announcement spots voluntarily contributed by radio and television broadcasters, "to brief discerning music and movie lovers everywhere on our plans, all of which are being designed solely with their best interests in mind."


Bainwol added that Microsoft and other major hardware and software companies will start crash projects aimed at developing technologies to enable WRAMPIA members to remotely control product flow to and from home user entertainment and communications systems.


"WRAMPIA is solid proof that we exist only to serve consumers," says Sherman.

WRAMPIA

[sacajaweeda]

Just a drive by postwhoring. Nothing to see here.

[glockjs]

"Special legal teams will be available to school staffs to help them explain why our children should buy industry product exclusively and how that will help starving people everywhere.


"We'll also be launching a very special Kindergarten Awareness with the Business Software Association's warm and cuddly Willy the Weasel as the guide."

thats funny, yet scary

[Capmaster]

Get out Photoshop men, and let the rude WRAMPIA chopping commence

[SLICK RICK]

"Special legal teams will be available to school staffs to help them explain why our children should buy industry product exclusively and how that will help starving people everywhere.


"We'll also be launching a very special Kindergarten Awareness with the Business Software Association's warm and cuddly Willy the Weasel as the guide."

thats funny, yet scary

Yes it is. It is also disguisting that they feel the need to school children on what to buy. Shouldn't the children be taught more important things.

[freestyler]

Educating children on digital piracy dates back to the 80s.

Anyone seen the video "Don't Copy That Floppy" with the dancing rapper?

WRAMPIA? Heh, quite a fitting name for their "rampaging" tactics.

[glockjs]

for some reason WRAMPIA sounds like a horrible STD to me

[Doramius]

for some reason WRAMPIA sounds like a horrible STD to me

I thought very similarly. I thought it sounded like some highly contagious viral infection from Africa. I also found it funny that Hollywood calls themselves the WORLD Recording and Motion Picture Industry Association. Like they control and protect all of the worlds movie and music copyrights. They should just call themselves Disney's PMS (Preserving Mickey Society).

[Capmaster]

"Doctor - Do I have chlamydia?"

"No son ...you have WRAMPIA"

[Doramius]

Webster's Unabridged Dictionary:

WRAMPIA - A catagious disease discovered in the body of a man named Jack Valenti. Most feared by pirates and innocent women & children.

[glockjs]

coming to cope and live in the world with something like WRAMPIA isnt easy...pay attention as we start the video kids

[Doramius]

In my actual opinion, I do believe artists should be paid for what they do and that if they want to crack down on pirating, they should. [Now hold on a second there before you think I've flipped my top]
What makes me pissed is they are trying to discriminate media. Open lawsuits aginst people without proof. And try to change and control fair use and public domain.

First off, If they are coming down on movies & music, they need to do it also with books, writings, columns, etc. It's all media that is copyrighted. What Hollywood is trying to do is discriminate media. If you go out and buy a Reel-2-Reel version of a movie, you have the right to back it up to and media form you feel. That's free use. You also have the right to download, obtain and read any form that movie on R2R is in. You have a physical copy in which you purchased, and gives you a small license to do this. This means P2P sharing is perfectly legal, and I can download Pirates of the Carribean if I want to, since I have a store bought version in my DVD library.

Next, as stated above, Hollywood is suing people without seeing them in court nor do they have physical evidence against the person. All they have is a list of movies that were downloaded to the person's HDD. Did they think to check the person's closet for the shelf of VHS tapes and DVDs? That's 100% illegal and if and honest someone with money decides to counter sue for wrongful accusation without proof, that person is going to walk away with a lot of Hollywood's money.

Finally, as we all know, the Public Domain time frame keeps changing. It seems to follow Mickey Mouse every time he comes up for entering into Public Domain. Disney is also marketing more heavily on Mickey right now, because they may not be able to file again in the next 15 years to increase the time. In 2029, Mickey is free to roam the public.

[Capmaster]

Webster's Unabridged Dictionary:

WRAMPIA - A catagious disease discovered in the body of a man named Jack Valenti. Most feared by pirates and innocent women & children.

Mr. Valenti was the first to contract it by having unprotected sex with a tubercular Tasmanian Devil.

[glockjs]

Webster's Unabridged Dictionary:

WRAMPIA - A catagious disease discovered in the body of a man named Jack Valenti. Most feared by pirates and innocent women & children.

Mr. Valenti was the first to contract it by having unprotected sex with a tubercular Tasmanian Devil.

so he's kinda like that monkey they found in africa?

[bazooka]

Webster's Unabridged Dictionary:

WRAMPIA - A catagious disease discovered in the body of a man named Jack Valenti. Most feared by pirates and innocent women & children.

Mr. Valenti was the first to contract it by having unprotected sex with a tubercular Tasmanian Devil.

so he's kinda like that monkey they found in africa?

Yep, he is like the african green monkey.

[Capmaster]

More like that crust the green monkey must carry around on his fur after a severe bout of jungle dysentery

[Doramius]

I once thought Jack Valenti was the term for a crusty fur carrying green monkey after a severe bout of jungle dysentery. :P

[Roundabout]

(WRAMPIA, pronounced 'wrampia')

Hmm. Glad they told me, I never would have figured out how to say it in lowercase :P

(Quoted from the article above)

Funny stuff.

[thayne]

I think it's true. My PI friend who does work for both told me last week he had a big meeting with both RIAA and MPAA at the same time reguarding this...