Good practical jokes at the boss' expense

[Capmaster]

List 'em here. They don't have to have actually been perpetrated to be included ....list all the good ones you've thought up on those days when he really pissed you off

Here's one I was going to play on my boss, with the help of my office mate at the time.

My boss had this little Dell laptop, a C400 I think. Tiny little thing. The boss loved to upload his e-mail to it and read it during boring multi-hour meetings.

I have an extensive collection of rude .WAV files I've accumulated over the years. They're mainly from the three stooges, the Simpsons, movies, etc.

Well, the plan we devised was to wait until the boss was off or in a long meeting without his little laptop, then abscond with it to our office. Then we were going to load a rude sound file, and dick with the sound settings, maximize the volume of course, possibly even make the boss a guest account and not an admin, so he can't change the settings.

We wanted to put a particular sound file on his laptop and tie it to menu commands, so the thing goes off almost continuously as soon as he starts navigating in Windows trying to exit will only bring on a new barrage of this file repeating over and over. Here's the sound file we wanted to use (the prison scene from Tango & Cash):

https://www.videohelp.com/~capmaster/temp/tancas11.mp3

Well, we chickened out because if the boss ended up in a meeting with the director or vice president, it would look bad ...really bad. The boss would be trying to jump up his own ******* to get to safety

Oh well ....a gem of an idea, but a little too nasty

[northcat_8]

Me and another guy once "borrowed" our boss' company credit card, called a phone sex line from his phone and left it off the hook for the 4 hours he was skipping out just about every night and leaving us to do his job.

We didn't actually "borrow" his card, he left his card in his desk, which was locked, but as most of you know...the only thing a "lock" keeps out is the owner and an honest person...we were neither.

He was fired shortly there after. ******


I guess that wouldn't necessarily qualify as a "practical joke" so to speak, but if I wouldn't have done it out of meaness, I would have thought it was funny.


Different boss same company. This chick I ******* hate her, I will hate her even after she dies, I think I will hate her in the after life...bitch
I'm getting all bent out of shape here...

ANYWAY.....
She wasn't exactly the sharpest spoon in the drawer if you know what I mean Well I and the maintenance man were not very fond of Miss Blake. One day after coming through the shop and telling me to put my safety glasses on for about the 30th time that day (I was loading trucks on a forklift). I called up to the office about 9:00 am and told her the forklift had a flat tire and I couldn't load anymore trucks until Caterpillar came in and fixed it. She immediately called the maintenance man and told him to call Caterpillar. He knew the tires were solid rubber but he called anyway...as she got very bitchy if you even questioned her. Anyway, Caterpillar came in and laughed in her face and charged the company a service call.

Same boss - We had hoists that ran along a communication rail on our automated hoist system. I went running into the office one day and in a frantic manner told her we had to shut the system down because we had electricity running off the communication rail into the Permeate tank. She freaked, called the maintenance man, he told her to call the programmer. She did. It cost $1500 for him to even get on the helicopter to come to our plant. Boy oh boy was management pissed. I got suspended over that one - 3 days I knew the job was just about over anyway. 3 weeks later I quit to start teaching fuckers.


Sorry about those Capmaster...I guess I am mentally not in the spirit of the exercise...I have pulled real practical jokes, maybe I'll be in a less dark mentality tomorrow.

[tgpo]

Senor year in HS we got into pranking each other's cars. The first one was the best. Friday night we all went to the HS football game, we live in a football town. While we were there three of us guys snuck out and went to the house of one of the guys we left at the game. We took 4 rolls of plastic wrap and wrapped it around the entire cab of his truck. We then tied fishing line around it. Then couted it with dishwaashing detergent. Then wrapped one more roll of plastic wrap over it. We then went back to the game and acted like we just got up to get a coke. Well the next morning it turned out he had a business meeting he had to go to at 8am. At 7:45am he saw his truck. He tried to remove the first layer of plastic wrap and it got all over him, covering him with dishwashing detergent. They pranked my car and we pranked the other two guys' cars, but that one was the best.

[themichael]

Here is a very cruel joke for the unwashed computer dummies.

1. Make a screen capture of the desktop (you know where this is going)
2. Put all the stuff on the desktop into a hidden folder. My computer and the rest can be moved to the edge of the screen.
3. Use the capture of the desktop as wallpaper.
4. move the task bar to the top of the screen and make it auto hide...
5. Try not to laugh out loud or pee your pants watching the idiots click 60 times on every "icon" on the screen, reboot several times, crawl around checking plugs, and just sit there completely baffled.
6. Quickly undo the changes before they get back with somebody to show them 'their computer doesn't click things anymore...'

People who think the computer is running slow because somebody left it on over night cry when this happens (the machine is a 350mHz Gateway with 64meg, 98SE, six years old, NO maintainence EVER ).

Of course you could always change the mouse properties to a 'left handed' mouse. Got an entire IT department once with this one.

"you guys got any right handed mice left? Somebody put a leftie mouse on my computer..."
"Huh?"
"Come and see, and bring a rightie mouse please."
IT guys get the box of spare mice and goto desk.
"Wow, never saw a leftie mouse before. Any of you guys see one?"

After several reboots when trying each mouse, somebody finally told these guys to just change the mouse properties back...... [/b]

[Craig Tucker]

I like the wallpaper one. Have to try that

[SquirrelDip]

Here's one for all you cat lovers (or haters...) out there. Works best with a roommate's or spouce's cat (i.e. someone you live with):

1. Keep checking the cat's litter box. Every time you find a turd, use the litter scoop and flush it down the toilet (without the cat's owner seeing you).

2. After a few days the owner will start to get worried and probably put "Fluffy" on some kind of laxative. At this point make double sure you remove any turds.

3. After a few more days wait till you have one of those nice solid monster shits. Use the scoop and fish it out, then lay it across the litter box.

Poor Fluffy...

[RickTheRed]

I have replaced the "typical boring family picture" by one of the ugliest photos of marylin manson.

We heard the scream a few block away.

Not too dangerous. I like what I do and I do not want to be too hard, but I can't stop myself doing stupid jokes.

Other smooth office computer jokes that I do frequently:

Change the mouse pointer speed setting to slowest setting. It's really slow.

Phone: change the volume to Max. Put a scotchtape over the button that gets up when you take the phone. They will say: Hello, Hello, etc...

Phone (depending of your system) change the display language to whatever language you cannot read.

Change the chair settings. Lower/higher. I like this one.

But I really like this desktop screen capture one. I will try it for sure and I know who will be the victim. Poor him. It will work and it will be baaadd.

[makntraks]

Cap,
Try this one.....gets them every time...

rabbit.exe

makntraks

[thecoalman]

Here's one my broether did, he's a firefighter. Apparently they are always pulling pranks on each other. Get some black electrical tape and tape the lever for the sink hose open. When they go to turn the sink on they get drenched.

Here's another one, if you have a community refrigerator at work. If you have hot sauce such as regular Red Hot replace with Dave's Insanity Sauce.

[bugster]

Another Computer one that I did on a clue-less colleague. It was Win95 (Yeah, that long ago). I found a little proggy in the internet that automtically moved any desktop icon every time the mouse cursor got close. Of course this means it is impossible to click on anything on the desktop! (Start menu still worked tho). One lunchtime I put this on my clueless colleagues PC, added it to system startup, and left it running. You should have seen his face when he tried to open the report he was working on and it just moved around the screen, staying a few pixels away from his mouse! He even rebooted a few times but still couldn't fix it


After a while (a couple of hours) I told him he had a virus but that it could be removed. I sent him to get the IT support guy whilst I quickly removed it from the PC and rebooted.

[Craig Tucker]

Did you ever let him in on the joke

[bugster]

Did you ever let him in on the joke

If that is direct at me, no. I left the compnay a few weeks later and havn't seen him since. But in those last few weeks he thought I was 'his hero' for cleansing his machine of that pesky virus
I don't think I had to make my own coffee from that day on

[offline]

Cap,
Try this one.....gets them every time...

rabbit.exe

makntraks

What's that do? None of my systems will let me run it, my
work won't even download it.

[flaninacupboard]

it says "this is a trojan virus!"

[offline]

Hmm... AVG is finding a virus but by itself Rabbit.exe should be safe:

INFO:

"Rabbit joke" is neither a virus nor a trojan. It is a detection of the "program" type (under which non-malicious but sometimes unwanted objects are detected).
When run, this program plays a sound file on the speaker which says "Hey everybody, I'm watching porno over here", then displays a message box with the title "GOTCHA!" and the text "HAVE A NICE DAY!"

Your Rabbit.exe might just have a few extra fleas? (still testing)

Destructive advice or links are

[makntraks]

Hmm... AVG is finding a virus but by itself Rabbit.exe should be safe:

INFO:

"Rabbit joke" is neither a virus nor a trojan. It is a detection of the "program" type (under which non-malicious but sometimes unwanted objects are detected).
When run, this program plays a sound file on the speaker which says "Hey everybody, I'm watching porno over here", then displays a message box with the title "GOTCHA!" and the text "HAVE A NICE DAY!"

Your Rabbit.exe might just have a few extra fleas? (still testing)

Destructive advice or links are

Well it is quite old so newer virus programs may report that I guess. I have no problem with work and the strict policies here as I just right clicked and d/l'd it...
Also never had any problems from executing it as I have planted that numerous times....


makntraks

p.s. off - thanks for the descriptive post....
p.s.s. and for this lame ass warning

Destructive advice or links are

With all due respect....

[offline]

With all due disrespect.. right back at ya

It does seem that newer security stuff misidentifies your
EXE as a virus or trojan. Pranks can go wrong so better
to be careful given what Bazooka and I found - even a false
alarm can have consequences in some workplaces.

The description stays btw and if you have issues
with that I'd suggest a slice of lemon would do nicely
with the tea

[Lucifers_Ghost]

I have done all of these at one point or another:

1) Like someone mentioned, the desktop capture as the wallpaper REALLY screws with people if they arent computer smart. Its a riot

2) Take crazy glue and glue the handset receiver to the base of the phone. When he tries to use it, he will pick up the whole base with hit. Chances are the glue with give away and make the base crash down to the desk, making him look like an idiot.

3) Unplug some connections to his computer, like enet cables for network access. He will most likely call tech support and when they come to see the problem, they will make him feel like an arsehole. Reverse the mouse and keyboard connections.

4) If he has a chair with wheels, take them off. Move the chair out just far enough that he could sit in it without having to move it. When he tries to pull himself closer to the desk, scrrrrrrrape along the carpet.

5) If he happens to leave his coffee on his desk and leaves the office, pour a ton of sugar in it. This will probably only work one time lol

6) Post random sticky notes around his office. Stuff like "Thanks for last night stud. Love (insert name and telephone number of co-worker that he knows very well. Make sure its a guy)." Or "Meet me in the photocopy room. I want some copies of your equipment. (insert name).

7) Have your friends leave him voicemails from "the cops" or "financial institutions." Tell him that his mortgage or loan is 6 months past due and he should call the bank or the bank will send a repo man to his house

8) If your HR department has a sense of humor, get them involved in a prank. My buddy and I got our HR department in on calling my boss into a meeting because he they had proof he was "leaving work to go to the bar and casino" while still getting paid. Now THAT was fun

That should start you off nicely

Enjoy ....

[NamPla]

Good practical jokes at the boss' expense

Hmm, how about just not turning up at work? And not answering the phone for the next week or 2? That'll get the bastard!

[Capmaster]

Good practical jokes at the boss' expense

Hmm, how about just not turning up at work? And not answering the phone for the next week or 2? That'll get the bastard!

I've tried that ....during my Videohelp early days. They tend to get ......bitter ....about it, and insist that you at least show up once in a while to check your mail slot

[NamPla]

Gee you're lucky Capmaster , I just ended up on my ass at the dole office!!! Ha...

(Tho' best thing that could've happened, it basically got me off my ass looking for better jobs!)

[pacmania_2001]

Laxatives in the coffee and put a padlock on the toilet door.

[NamPla]

Laxatives in the coffee and put a padlock on the toilet door.

What about just steal the toilet paper?

[pacmania_2001]

He might get resourceful and use his socks though