We was ROBBED!

[gshelley61]

Came in to work this morning to discover that about 8-12 laptops and other gear were gripped from our department last night... I was lucky and had closed and locked my office door so none of my stuff was taken(whew!). Motherf*cking thieves

[DVD_Ripper]

Cleaning people ??

Here at our office you get 'ticketed' if you don't lock your laptop up upon departure.... (about 4,000 people here -- all with laptops) ... way back when they had problems with cleaning people stealing... so policy now dictates that they must be locked up

[Treebeard]

Our desktops all have the bike lock type chords on them so you would have to cut the chord to be able to run off w/ them.

Do they have security cameras where the laptops were taken from? See who took them?

[tekkieman]

We had that happen at work about 5 years ago. They cut the locks, or pried them out of the docking stations. We had security cameras and roving security. They were never caught. One lady had hers ripped off twice in 1 month!

[housepig]

I actually made some cards for the building manager that say

I could have robbed your office
but I left this card instead. 
LOCK YOUR DOOR!

because we have no real security at my office - it's a social service agency, and people come in and out through 2 main doors all the time. so when employees leave their office doors open, things have a habit of walking away....

[stiltman]

Came in to work this morning to discover that about 8-12 laptops and other gear were gripped from our department last night... I was lucky and had closed and locked my office door so none of my stuff was taken(whew!). Motherf*cking thieves

Check the swapmeet this weekend, stall PU-51...I'll have them on sale for $400 per

[Ziffelpig]

Cleaning people ??

Here at our office you get 'ticketed' if you don't lock your laptop up upon departure.... (about 4,000 people here -- all with laptops) ... way back when they had problems with cleaning people stealing... so policy now dictates that they must be locked up

Isn't that a stereotypical response all cleaning people are thieves, office thieves are more likely to be your co-workers or supervisor than a janitor.
I have an MBA and manage about 540 cleaning people in several facilities, all have had criminal background checks and are bonded as a prerequisite of employment. A couple of years back all cleaning staff had their shifts changed from evenings to days because of high levels of theft in the evening(Housekeeping employees were the only employees suspected),yet thefts on premise increased by 40% over a 3 month period,Senior management then hired a PI only to discover it was a night supervisor and some evening employees committing the thefts.
Education and/or job status is not an indicator of honesty or ethical standards.

[tekkieman]

Cleaning people ??

Here at our office you get 'ticketed' if you don't lock your laptop up upon departure.... (about 4,000 people here -- all with laptops) ... way back when they had problems with cleaning people stealing... so policy now dictates that they must be locked up

Isn't that a stereotypical response all cleaning people are thieves, office thieves are more likely to be your co-workers or supervisor than a janitor.

Easy does it! See the question marks? It was one proposed place to look, not an accusation. At least be reasonable about it. If it is a daytime business, and the cleaning crew is nighttime, it is a valid question. If it is a 24hr shop (or has nighttime hours), it is as likely as anyone else, not less likely as you state.

Education and/or job status is not an indicator of honesty or ethical standards.

I would bet I could find statistics to the contrary, but in principle, I would agree...to a point. Education wise, I agree. Job status wise, disagree. Because of my position, if I want a laptop, I can easily talk my company into providing one, or I simply purchase one. Those in (typing while cringing) lower? positions would have less ability to do so. While that does not mean they are more likely to steal, it might make them more likely to want a laptop.

[Doramius]

I agree. It's risk level. I work in the financial field. We contract our cleaning people and they have to have a certain background check, but on the larger part our cleaning crew has walked off with more items (and were caught) than the regular employees. There are cameras all over and the employees know this. THe Cleaning crew do not either notice or pay attention to them. I had to finger out a person on a video once. They had cleaned off and wiped down a persons desk, while doing so they casually unplugged a CD/Radio Clock and held the garbage can up to the desk and wiped the player into the basket like it was trash or dirt. They then dumped the basket into the larger trash-bin trolley. Another camera caught them digging to take the player out and then setting it by their locker to take home. That's just one incident.

[shoozleboy]

We had a manager that was making close to a 6 figure income - and she walked out with one.... Security Mgr is a retired police investigator... a days worth of work and he pinned it on her (evidence wise....) and she is no longer with the company....

She was a shady person to begin with. Always side stepping questions on her receiving departments paperwork and stuff... they were watching her long before she stole it.

Got the head of HR (human resources) as well.... here she had taken one off property without a pass and never brought it back. But it was her attitude with others that got her canned - the theft just made it an easy canning.

2 people that could well afford to buy a laptop of their own, instead decided to take one from the company that gave them a paycheck.... tsk, tsk, tsk.

[Capmaster]

You never know who is a closet klepto. I work in a secure tech area where everyone has a government security clearance resulting from a thorough background check. Still, every once in a while a laptop grows legs.

To me this is inconceivable because where I work, there are two sure-fire ways of getting fired on the first infraction - timecard fraud and theft.

To risk all those future earnings for a laptop ...even a really nice laptop ...boggles my mind.

We had one klepto there years ago that got caught smuggling out rolls of toilet paper in his lunch box. They went to his house and found half of his 2-car garage stacked with TP from floor to ceiling. I guess the guy had an irrational fear of running out of it

[Doramius]

I think this was him.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=1290&item=5512389863&rd=1

It's amazing what sneaky people do to earn money on the side.

[DVD_Ripper]

Cleaning people ??

Here at our office you get 'ticketed' if you don't lock your laptop up upon departure.... (about 4,000 people here -- all with laptops) ... way back when they had problems with cleaning people stealing... so policy now dictates that they must be locked up

Isn't that a stereotypical response all cleaning people are thieves, office thieves are more likely to be your co-workers or supervisor than a janitor.

Tekkie... thanks... Yes, Ziffelpig, you'll note my question marks in my response as one plausible source. Also our company instituted a policy that required locking of laptops because they were being stolen by the cleaning people. FACT

OK my thinking may be a tad tainted due to the dozens of laptops that walked out the door, at nite, until they instituted the new policy. Prior to the policy they monitored and caught the people that were stealing... and unfortunetaly they were the cleaning people.

In college I cleaned offices out for part time $$$.... so, please don't lecture me on stereotypical responses. Thanks

[Capmaster]

I think this was him.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=1290&item=5512389863&rd=1

It's amazing what sneaky people do to earn money on the side.

Selling toilet paper on e-bay?

[DVD_Ripper]

I think this was him.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=1290&item=5512389863&rd=1

It's amazing what sneaky people do to earn money on the side.

Selling toilet paper on e-bay?

That is too funny

[Doramius]

We're just mumbling because we didn't think of it first. maybe we can do it with other office items. IE: Staples, Batteries, Hanging folders, tissues, paper clips, copy paper, etc.

EDIT: That guy has 100% feedback for over 4000 people. Must be some dang good TP Your office uses Cap. Of course it's federally funded.

[Capmaster]

We're just mumbling because we didn't think of it first. maybe we can do it with other office items. IE: Staples, Batteries, Hanging folders, tissues, paper clips, copy paper, etc.

EDIT: That guy has 100% feedback for over 4000 people. Must be some dang good TP Your office uses Cap. Of course it's federally funded.

Only the best for us

[gshelley61]

Policy has just come down from on high. All laptops are to go home with the employee from now on (that way if it gets ripped, we will have to pay for it out of our own pockets )

[gshelley61]

Selling toilet paper on e-bay?

Shit, you can sell ANYTHING on eBay! :P

[Doramius]

Selling toilet paper on e-bay?

Shit, you can sell ANYTHING on eBay! :P

Here are some examples:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=1468&item=5512187965&rd=1&ssPageName=WDVW

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=36438&item=5512538866&rd=1&ssPageName=WDVW This is a REAL shocker.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=19260&item=5512461851&rd=1

[gshelley61]

Selling toilet paper on e-bay?

Shit, you can sell ANYTHING on eBay! :P

Here are some examples:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=1468&item=5512187965&rd=1&ssPageName=WDVW

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=36438&item=5512538866&rd=1&ssPageName=WDVW This is a REAL shocker.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=19260&item=5512461851&rd=1

That second item would be great for Da Prez :P

[flaninacupboard]

I'M SURE BUYING TOILET PAPER ON EBAY SEEMS WEIRD, BUT THE AVERAGE PERSON USES ALMOST 29,000 SHEETS OF TOILET PAPER PER YEAR!

WTF?! that's 79.45 sheets a DAY! who uses 79 sheets a DAY?!

Edit:
I decided to see if anyone in the UK was selling toilet paper on ebay (good way to find new customers!) and found this http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=324&item=5510919910&rd=1
most amusing

[gshelley61]

Typical US t.p. is double sheet (two layers). Let's say 4-8 double sheets per wipe, 3-6 wipes per sit down. 1-2 sit downs per day. Amounts will vary depending on volume and consistency of fecal matter.

Low side, that's 2x4x3x1 = 24 sheets

High side, it's 2x8x6x2 = 192 sheets

79 sheets seems about right for an average (maybe a bit low) :P

[flaninacupboard]

ok, pushing new depths here, but do you really use 4-8 sheets at one time? and do you really ever do a dump -more- than once a day?

[Capmaster]

TTIFU!!!

[flaninacupboard]

TTIFU!!!

From you, that really means something!

[Capmaster]

TTIFU!!!

From you, that really means something!

Actually, I've seen much worse, but I've had an upset stomach for about an hour, and lunch isn't settling well

[flaninacupboard]

Hmmmmm..... Can i make him puke from the other side of the planet?

Hey Cap, remember that chick you banged, when it was like ******* rotten custard? you remember that stench? remember the way your dick smelled the next morning? you hurling yet?

[Doramius]

I don't know about you all, but when I use the toilet, I just wad several sheets around my hand and wipe. I don't really bother counting. But if I were to estimate: A sheet is approx. 4" sq., and 2 sheets would cover front and back of my hand (assuming the paper is 1ply). To avoid seepage to my hand I hand to roll the paper over my hand 3 times, making 6 sheets being used in one wipe. I may wipe 2-4 times, depending on how messy the recent session was. If it was after having ribs at Tony Roma's, we're looking at 4 wipes. 4X6=24 in one session. Most places and my home have 2ply tissue, I do the same routine of 3 rolls around the hand, doubling the number to 48 sheets. On a day where I have eaten wewstern beef products (quite often) I will pay homage to the THRONE about 3-4 times, though most other days I may only go once. So averaging 2 times daily with 2ply tissue and how I roll the paper over my hand to wipe my a**, I'm looking at about 96 sheets a day.

Now that that is over with, where's the thread where I'm supposed to talk about it's texture and color.

[gshelley61]

We're sort of "clean obsessed" here in the US... maybe that's why we go through so many TP sheets, kleenex tissues and paper towels. Plus, you never know when some stranger might see your undies (like after a car wreck, or a trip to the emergency room, or maybe if you get lucky). Can't be havin' any hash marks in your BVD's, you know... :P