B"#CH STUDENT

[beavereater]

As some of you may know, I have 2 English schools in Japan. Recently, I had a event party at one of them so that teachers and students can drink, eat and mingle. Anyway, during the course of this event, I noticed in my schedule book that there was a double-booking between a lesson and another important meeting (to have my wisdom teeth removed) Anyway, one student, who signed on just a month ago, heard me talk with the secretary about the moving of the follow days lesson to another day, something that is not a big deal, since students FREQUENTLY cancel lessons at the last minute to attend parties or to do over-time work. ANYWAY, this BITCH came up to me talking about "WHY...why should you cancel your lesson...this is Japan, you have to work...I hate the kind of people who cancel their work because they drink too much the day before or because of shitty excuses." Everyone was a little surprised at the sudden out burst...and so was I to say the least. I tried calming her down, not knowing whether it was the alcohol speaking or not, since I had never seen her drunk before (Couldn't tell whether she was or not). Since that day, 2 days ago, I've been thinking about how to handle the situation when she comes in for her next lesson. During the altercation (sp?) I told her not to worry that lessons would go as planned. BUT I am sure she is gonna be asking about it anyway.

What I wanna do is say "Listen, you blew up at me for shit thats not your business. My actions had nothing to do with any lessons of yours. Furthermore, the fact that I am in Japan doesn't mean that I have to abide by your Japanese work ethics. Next time you have a problem over a matter that doesn't concern you, keep it to yourself. If it does concern you, then come to me or any of our staff in a calm and rational way."

BUT knowing this lady, who one friend put it as "She definitely hasn't been laid in the past 27 years of her life" is gonna probably be confrontive again. In this case I WOULD LOVE to blow up in her face. Then again, that would mean losing a student who pays. She also works in the company where a large group of my students come from and could be easy for her spread rumors....oh what to do!??? Anyway have a take on this!???

[stiltman]

tell her why you needed to move the appointment with the other student.
Then leave it at that and begin your lesson. If she keeps up with the argument, just keep telling her that you would like to continue your lesson with her...no reason to be confrontational

[Tommyknocker]

As some of you may know, I have 2 English schools in Japan. Recently, I had a event party at one of them so that teachers and students can drink, eat and mingle. Anyway, during the course of this event, I noticed in my schedule book that there was a double-booking between a lesson and another important meeting (to have my wisdom teeth removed) Anyway, one student, who signed on just a month ago, heard me talk with the secretary about the moving of the follow days lesson to another day, something that is not a big deal, since students FREQUENTLY cancel lessons at the last minute to attend parties or to do over-time work. ANYWAY, this BITCH came up to me talking about "WHY...why should you cancel your lesson...this is Japan, you have to work...I hate the kind of people who cancel their work because they drink too much the day before or because of shitty excuses." Everyone was a little surprised at the sudden out burst...and so was I to say the least. I tried calming her down, not knowing whether it was the alcohol speaking or not, since I had never seen her drunk before (Couldn't tell whether she was or not). Since that day, 2 days ago, I've been thinking about how to handle the situation when she comes in for her next lesson. During the altercation (sp?) I told her not to worry that lessons would go as planned. BUT I am sure she is gonna be asking about it anyway.

What I wanna do is say "Listen, you blew up at me for shit thats not your business. My actions had nothing to do with any lessons of yours. Furthermore, the fact that I am in Japan doesn't mean that I have to abide by your Japanese work ethics. Next time you have a problem over a matter that doesn't concern you, keep it to yourself. If it does concern you, then come to me or any of our staff in a calm and rational way."

BUT knowing this lady, who one friend put it as "She definitely hasn't been laid in the past 27 years of her life" is gonna probably be confrontive again. In this case I WOULD LOVE to blow up in her face. Then again, that would mean losing a student who pays. She also works in the company where a large group of my students come from and could be easy for her spread rumors....oh what to do!??? Anyway have a take on this!???

You missed the best opportunity at the party. The prevailing response at my supervisory course says you say right there at the party: This is not the forum for such a remark, and as a matter of fact I want you in my office first thing (next business day)".

Of course, that's water under the bridge. Anyway, if you can still arrange this meeting before her next class with you, do it. If the next time you will is during her class with you, in front of the whole class, tell her to meet with you after class to discuss her concerns with your scheduling priority.

At your meeting with her, you may also want to explain that since it is your school you set policy and rearranging a class for an operation is within thepolicies of your school as you already mentioned it has been done for students before.

That's how I handle such situations. It's up to you, of course.

[Conquest10]

Next time you have a problem over a matter that doesn't concern you, keep it to yourself.

If its her lesson and she's paying for it, how is it none of her concern?

[beavereater]

Well...she has arrived for her class...no comments...I think maybe she feels she won the argument or something. Not sure what the feeling is gonna be like in the class room!! Let you guys know soon!!!

[Tommyknocker]

tell her why you needed to move the appointment with the other student.
Then leave it at that and begin your lesson. If she keeps up with the argument, just keep telling her that you would like to continue your lesson with her...no reason to be confrontational

Remember, in the Japanese society it is bad form to take a day off from work to go to a non work appointment.

[Conquest10]

the fact that I am in Japan doesn't mean that I have to abide by your Japanese work ethics

If I didn't know any better, I could swear that you were an American.

[beavereater]

tell her why you needed to move the appointment with the other student.
Then leave it at that and begin your lesson. If she keeps up with the argument, just keep telling her that you would like to continue your lesson with her...no reason to be confrontational

Remember, in the Japanese society it is bad form to take a day off from work to go to a non work appointment.

THere are many types of Japanese people...as far as work goes, they are all divided into different groups. Some with power, some with a little power and some with none at all. At her office, she has some power and isn't a very good manager at all (She doesn't know it but my girl works at the same company. She is disliked by many because of her attitude.) Anyway, when she first came to this school she was NO problem, thats why I was shocked. Anyway, I wasn't surprised at her approach to work, as so many Japanese over do it just so that they can keep their shitty jobs. I am in a position where I can take 2 or 3 weeks holiday and have no worries at all. Most Japanese people I have worked with don't admit to jealousy, but instead resort to verbal confrontations of "...this is Japan so you have to do it the Japanese way!" Most foreigners respond with the STFU answer.

Not all Japanese are like this, but this particular one is. The lesson went fine and there was no comment made about the prior evening. Perhaps the alcohol was speaking that night. However, next time it will be me doing the talking.

[Tommyknocker]

tell her why you needed to move the appointment with the other student.
Then leave it at that and begin your lesson. If she keeps up with the argument, just keep telling her that you would like to continue your lesson with her...no reason to be confrontational

Remember, in the Japanese society it is bad form to take a day off from work to go to a non work appointment.

THere are many types of Japanese people...as far as work goes, they are all divided into different groups. Some with power, some with a little power and some with none at all. At her office, she has some power and isn't a very good manager at all (She doesn't know it but my girl works at the same company. She is disliked by many because of her attitude.) Anyway, when she first came to this school she was NO problem, thats why I was shocked. Anyway, I wasn't surprised at her approach to work, as so many Japanese over do it just so that they can keep their shitty jobs. I am in a position where I can take 2 or 3 weeks holiday and have no worries at all. Most Japanese people I have worked with don't admit to jealousy, but instead resort to verbal confrontations of "...this is Japan so you have to do it the Japanese way!" Most foreigners respond with the STFU answer.

Not all Japanese are like this, but this particular one is. The lesson went fine and there was no comment made about the prior evening. Perhaps the alcohol was speaking that night. However, next time it will be me doing the talking.

Thanks for the update. But if I may make one more suggestion, try not to lie in wait for the next confrontation. It may have been the alcohol, but it may be some other underlying factor. This really seems to have been a non issue, so to speak, so if something happens like this again with her, you may want to see it as a symptom, rather than the disease.

[northcat_8]

Since she hasn't been laid in the past 27 years, you could clean her pipes for her...I'm sure she would appreciate it and might retard the "bitch reflex".

[beavereater]

tell her why you needed to move the appointment with the other student.
Then leave it at that and begin your lesson. If she keeps up with the argument, just keep telling her that you would like to continue your lesson with her...no reason to be confrontational

Remember, in the Japanese society it is bad form to take a day off from work to go to a non work appointment.

THere are many types of Japanese people...as far as work goes, they are all divided into different groups. Some with power, some with a little power and some with none at all. At her office, she has some power and isn't a very good manager at all (She doesn't know it but my girl works at the same company. She is disliked by many because of her attitude.) Anyway, when she first came to this school she was NO problem, thats why I was shocked. Anyway, I wasn't surprised at her approach to work, as so many Japanese over do it just so that they can keep their shitty jobs. I am in a position where I can take 2 or 3 weeks holiday and have no worries at all. Most Japanese people I have worked with don't admit to jealousy, but instead resort to verbal confrontations of "...this is Japan so you have to do it the Japanese way!" Most foreigners respond with the STFU answer.

Not all Japanese are like this, but this particular one is. The lesson went fine and there was no comment made about the prior evening. Perhaps the alcohol was speaking that night. However, next time it will be me doing the talking.

Thanks for the update. But if I may make one more suggestion, try not to lie in wait for the next confrontation. It may have been the alcohol, but it may be some other underlying factor. This really seems to have been a non issue, so to speak, so if something happens like this again with her, you may want to see it as a symptom, rather than the disease.

I think the time has passed, the opportunity has gone. We've already had a lesson, and she and I have already had regular dialogue (Not concerning her outburst) I understand what you mean, but at this point it could be just adding gas to the fire who knows!?

@Northcat_8

If she hasn't been laid in 27 years...ya really think I would wanna clean those pipes I could convince someone else to try though. You fancy a trip to Japan

[thayne]

She's paying your salary, or have you forgot that? I'd be pissed to if you canceled a class I paid for and I think it's totally unprofessional for you to talk about her like this behind her back. If I were your boss I'd fire you....

[Conquest10]

She's paying your salary, or have you forgot that? I'd be pissed to if you canceled a class I paid for and I think it's totally unprofessional for you to talk about her like this behind her back. If I were your boss I'd fire you....

That's what I said. It looks like he just wants us to go: "Yeah, you're right. You tell that Jap bitch who's boss."

[stiltman]

She's paying your salary, or have you forgot that? I'd be pissed to if you canceled a class I paid for and I think it's totally unprofessional for you to talk about her like this behind her back. If I were your boss I'd fire you....

That's what I said. It looks like he just wants us to go: "Yeah, you're right. You tell that Jap bitch who's boss."

Who said he canceled the lesson? I thought he said he wanted to reschedule it?

[thayne]

reschedule is the same as cancel in my book. Who knows what her schedule is like. It may have been a major pain in the ass for her, and for as pissed as she was it probably was. I hate it when people "reschedule" that's making your problems my problems and that's a problem....

The main problem with his rant is how he goes into her lack of not getting laid as a possible reason for her outburst and joking about it with others. It's just wrong...

[Tommyknocker]

reschedule is the same as cancel in my book. Who knows what her schedule is like. It may have been a major pain in the ass for her, and for as pissed as she was it probably was. I hate it when people "reschedule" that's making your problems my problems and that's a problem....

The main problem with his rant is how he goes into her lack of not getting laid as a possible reason for her outburst and joking about it with others. It's just wrong...

Her scheduled classes went on as planned. He never inconvienced her. It was a cultural issue, not even a personal one.

[Conquest10]

How is it a cultural issue?

[Tommyknocker]

How is it a cultural issue?

Joe, some hardliners in Japan consider it very bad form to make personal appointments instead of going to work.

[Conquest10]

Its true that its more frowned upon over there, but the same is true here. If you got a busy schedule and somebody (I don't know, a doctor) wants to switch around your appointment and you have no other time to go except for that time, you're telling me you're not going to get mad?

[DereX888]

You forgot the old gold rule:
"When in Rome..."

It is in very 'best' American rude style of you to say something like "Im not Japanese, I dont have to follow your rules". Thats exactly what most people in the world hate about some Americans. Had I been her I would have told you to go **** yourself and go back to wherever you came from.

Just my $0.02

[beavereater]

She's paying your salary, or have you forgot that? I'd be pissed to if you canceled a class I paid for and I think it's totally unprofessional for you to talk about her like this behind her back. If I were your boss I'd fire you....

She is paying for my salary. However, things happen...lifes a bitch. If she feels that me rescheduling a lesson (that has nothing to do with her lessons) is shit, the tough for her. Thats the same as YOUR doctor rescheduling another patients appointment, and you getting pissed. If it was her lesson, I would definitely sit down explain the reason.

Just to clarify some things

1. I didn't reschedule her lesson, or cancel her lesson. In fact, the rescheduled lesson was something that I do before school hours for a group of people who can't afford the cost of the lessons. (Something that is not her business.)

2. Other students cancel there lessons at the last minute, including her, (taking away from my salary) and even though there are rules about canceling lessons, I usually don't enforce them and give them a little the benifite (sp?) doubt.

English lessons are much like swiming lessons back home. You go once a week and then forget about the lesson unless you go to the beach (or in Japan, the bar full of foreigners.)

As far as being the boss...I am the boss. I cancel a lesson, I miss out on cash. Obviously, something came up that was more important than 1 lesson. If my actions interfered with her lessons...I would have no problem with her getting angry.

Imagine someone asking getting pissed at you for taking a day off work to visit the hospital for whatever reason. Is that there business?? I think not. But the point of this post was to see what everyone thinks??? SO keep it coming!!!

the fact that I am in Japan doesn't mean that I have to abide by your Japanese work ethics

If I didn't know any better, I could swear that you were an American.

I AM CANADIAN...but believe me...living in another country makes you appreciate your own counrty much much more. Maybe my comment about work ethic was misunderstood. THe student made a comment about me being a foreigner and doing work that way, not the Japanese way. Well, unfortunately, I don't confrom to the Japanese way in many forms

EXAMPLE: At the same party, on the same day of the outburst, a different girl had her tits grabbed and older student who happened to be her boss. The girl just took it as "Well, he's my boss and there is nothing I can do" WHere I come from, this is not the way things go, and I stood up for her confronting this student about his actions. In this case, would I be the good guy for sticking up for this girl (I know I would in Canada, or America) or am I the bad guy (Since in Japan most Japanese people would have just sat there and done nothing or laughed along with the older man.

[beavereater]

I appreciate everyones opinions...I know some disagree with mine. Don't get me wrong, I'm not the kind of person who just does shit my way whenever...I go to work sick, with a cold, fever or flu. However, when things happen that I feel strongly about, just as everyone else, I stand up for it. As a teacher, I have to talk all day. I had my appointment to get (very painful wisdom teeth) removed a month before. The secretary made a mistake and scheduled an appointment during the same time. If I had my teeth removed another day, more appointment would get rescheduled. My only day off is Sunday, a holiday for all clinics. I work from 10 to 10 everyday...this particular day would only have 1 class moved...another day would have several. This is my point. HOWEVER...this has NOTHING to do with HER!! That is also my point.

[Tommyknocker]

Its true that its more frowned upon over there, but the same is true here. If you got a busy schedule and somebody (I don't know, a doctor) wants to switch around your appointment and you have no other time to go except for that time, you're telling me you're not going to get mad?

Joe, I'm in the military, we make and cancel appointments all the time. Not to be inconsistent, but we do what the Mission requires. If my commander makes an appointment with me to go over one of my programs, but cancels at the last minute because the general wants to talk over something else with him, we reschedule. Not because he outranks me, but because things come up we have no control over. I simply find something else to do with "windfall" freetime I've just been given.

[tweedledee]

I just can't understand how unreasonable people can be. If you can't have time off for a MEDICAL condition, when can you? I'm a driving instructor, and I have to change lessons occasionally due to car problems, driving test delays, illness and whatever. Thank God I don't have students like her.

[beavereater]

I just can't understand how unreasonable people can be. If you can't have time off for a MEDICAL condition, when can you? I'm a driving instructor, and I have to change lessons occasionally due to car problems, driving test delays, illness and whatever. Thank God I don't have students like her.

Let me put things into easy terms:

I rescheduled a lesson, that had nothing to do with the student, for GOOD reasons that have nothing to do with the student, that was for the best of the school. The students of the rescheduled students, they had no problems (Mostly because they have more often than not rescheduled lessons on me)

I have gone into detail about many points of this...but in the end, I FEEL that regardless of my reasons, this is my business...and unless I do something bad to YOU, its not your business. I am not talking about something bad like DENYING someone a service based on race, but rescheduling the lesson based on ME have NO TIME to go to an appointment and going to great lengths to make this appointment on a day that would NOT interfere with MORE students..

[Capmaster]

Sit down with her and explain your side of it. Find out what her issues are, and go from there.

[northcat_8]

I still think you should f**k her. Come on....27 years .....take one for the team Beav.....I wouldn't go giving her a magic tounge ride just yet, since it has been so long for her, she might cum dust....and you don't want that powdered doughnut circle around your mouth....but come on Beav....turn out the lights and take care of her :P

Hell tell her you are going to teach her how to moan in english and charge her for a language session