Indolikaa's 3000th Post

[indolikaa]

BRIT HUME: Welcome back to Special Report with yours truly on FOX News Channel. Gentlemen, before we left for commercial we were discussing the recent accusations of turncoat media whores on the videohelp.com forum. Now Mort you were saying that, in a nutshell, the recent ramblings of a certain member have thrown the entire DVD-R Coalition into shambles.

MORT KONDRAKE: That's right, Brit. As we first reported on Roll Call, PhilipL was arrested last week for being in possession of blank DVD+R media. The shockwaves are only beginning to resonate through the 80,000 member dvdrhelp.com community. Attorney General Ashcroft has said he has no plans to extradite PhilipL to Burkino Faso, where he faces charges of running an undergound scheme to have Taiyo Yuden DVD-R discs rebranded as Naked Geek media. And I'm surprised at the Attorney General's decision in this matter, given the heinous nature of his crimes in Burkino Faso.

FRED BARNES: Now wait a minute, that hasn't been decided yet. We learned yesterday that the US Supreme Court was going to take the Eric Estrada v. Princo case, and that could have significant bearing on whether or not the Attorney General has any authority in this case.

MORT KONDRAKE: Yes, but seeing the original decision was handed down by the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals, is there any doubt the decision is going to be overturned?

FRED BARNES: Well of course not, but that's not the real issue here...

BRIT HUME: Gentlemen, forgive me for interrupting, but we have a breaking story coming in. Ladies and gentlemen let's go to Shepard Smith live in Studio B for this special report.



SHEPARD SMITH: This is a FOX News Alert. Indolikaa Khan has just reached the 3000 post milestone at vcdhelp.com. We take you live to Geraldo Rivera in Tuba City, Arizona for the story. Geraldo?

GERALDO RIVERA: Thanks Shepard. Well, it finally happened. The 'Resident *******' at xvcdhelp.com finally reached a milestone nobody thought would be tolerated, let alone celebrated. We're preparing our satellite equipment for a linkup with the man himself, but while we're working on that let me read some of the prepared statements from world leaders who saw this event coming.

President George W. Bush told the White House press corps last night that, "Indolikaa Khan embraces all of the good things that make America what it is today. I support the man and his mission, and I have asked Congress to declare the entire month of May 'Indolikaa Kicks Ass!' month."

British Prime Minister Tony Blair told the Daily Mirror, "I have nothing but respect for the man and his mission in life. Our next ballistic missile submarine, the HMS Peacekeeper, is being named in honor of this fine defender of all things Good and Proper."

Sao Tome and Principe President Fradique de Menezes told CNN, "He's ******* righteous!"

But not all of the world supports this man. Some have gone so far as to accuse him of flaming the fires of mutually-assured destruction, while others just consider him insane. We spoke to Russian President Vladimir Putin before going live tonight, and he said, "I'd like to take one of those Peacekeeper missiles and shove it where the vodka doesn't flow, Comrade!" We also spoke to Irish Prime Minister Bertie Ahern who insisted the world would never be a safe place so long as that, "instrument of hellbent nuclear ambitions threatens world peace for all mankind, a united Ireland stands against him."

SHEPARD SMITH: Geraldo, we've been hearing rumors that Indolikaa Khan's name has been mentioned for the Nobel Peace Price this year. What have you heard about this?

GERALDO RIVERA: The Nobel Peace Price?

SHEPARD SMITH: That's right. He was nominated by a clandenstine group of nuclear scientists in the United States who believe his mission is one of righteous purity and divine instinct.

GERALDO RIVERA: (Looks over at onsite technician) Can I say 'you're ******* kidding me' on live television?

SHEPARD SMITH: So long as you don't expose your breasts, Geraldo, it's just fine. We go now to Alan Colmes and Sean Hannity to continue our FOX News Special Report: Indolikaa Khan at 3000.

ALAN COLMES: Thank you Shepard, I'm Alan Colmes here with Sean Hannity and we now have Indolikaa Khan on the satellite. Indolikaa, can you hear me?

INDOLIKAA KHAN: Just fine, Alan.

ALAN COLMES: Indolikaa welcome to Hannity and Colmes as always. Let me just ask you this, what does this day mean to you?

INDOLIKAA KHAN: It means we're one step closer to World War III, Alan, that's what it means to me. I never thought I'd see the day when China would be suffering at the hands of international law. I guess the Chinese didn't take the threat seriously enough.

ALAN COLMES: What are you talking about, Indolikaa?

INDOLIKAA KHAN: What do you mean what am I talking about? Have you been on a news blackout the last few hours? The Mossad just located and liquidated the 'DVD-9' production facility.

ALAN COLMES: Ah, yes. We'll be discussing that later tonight, but right now we have you on the line to talk about your milestone at svcdhelp.com.

INDOLIKAA KHAN: My milestone? What the hell are you talking about? What did I do this time?

SEAN HANNITY: Indolikaa, Sean Hannity here, pleasure as always to see you, my friend. Well, since you're obviously clueless to the important events...

ALAN COLMES: ...what else is new...

SEAN HANNITY: ...we're here tonight to congratulate you on your 3,000th post at cvdhelp.com.

INDOLIKAA KHAN: You're ******* kidding me.

GERALDO RIVERA: Sorry Indolikaa, but I just found out you can't say that on television.

INDOLIKAA KHAN: Geraldo? Is that you? Where the hell are you transmitting from?

GERALDO RIVERA: None other, than downtown Tuba City.

INDOLIKAA KHAN: (Silence)

SEAN HANNITY: Indolikaa, I realize this seems very trivial to you, but every single time you post something at the xsvcdhelp.com forum, hundreds of borderline psychopaths come out of the woodwork to flood the Internet backbones with meaningless drabble about how you and your thermonuclear nutcase pals are out to destroy the world. And frankly, I'm tired of hearing from those Clinton sympathizers. They need to focus more on what the proper definition of sex is, and less on keeping the world secure.

INDOLIKAA KHAN: Sean, when I post horseshit, which according to a recent poll at dvd+rhelp.com is about 85% of the time...

ALAN COLMES: ...I would've guessed 95% myself...

INDOLIKAA KHAN: ...my whole intention is to irritate those members who have no sense of humor. It's like the rest of this pathetic world. Everybody is so concerned about themselves that they don't have time to enjoy a good laugh, let alone try and understand there's other people out there who couldn't care less about their views. We're talking about making DVDs, Sean. My 2 year-old niece can make a DVD. How hard is it really to make a DVD?

ALAN COLMES: As we learned recently from certain Albuquerqueans, more diffucult than you seem to realize.

INDOLIKAA KHAN: OK, I forgot about the idiots who try to play the label side of the disc in their DVD players. But people like Capmaster aside, there's no real reason for people to hang around the cdrwhelp.com forums once they've mastered the basics of the hobby. They do it because there's never been quite a place to socialize like cdrhelp.com. They claim they're there to help people, but you and I both know it's all about flame wars, the warez trolling, and the vinyl goat fetishes.

SEAN HANNITY: And that's why my dvdramhelp.com username continues to remain anonymous.

INDOLIKAA KHAN: Whatever you say Dr. Gee. But the point I'm trying to make is the number of posts mean absoltely nothing. It's not about quantity, it's about quality...

ALAN COLMES: ...or lack thereof...

INDOLIKAA KHAN: ...don't hate me because I retired 20 years before you can, Alan. Anyway, a complete lack of quality coupled with a total committment to quantity is supposed to result in a place where nothing should be taken too seriously. I mean, really, can you honestly believe anybody could post 3,000 useful pieces of information?

SEAN HANNITY: The serial numbers to Capmaster's vinyl collectibles?

INDOLIKAA KHAN: Baldrick doesn't have enough allocated bandwidth to handle that kind of post-whoring Sean. And I'm sure there are some decency laws in Sweden that would have to come into play. I can't imagine Prime Minister Persson would be happy to think that His Majesty's subjects would be spending all night working up a sweat over Cap's Barbara Streisand ewe. I mean, even the 9th Circuit Court had enough collective braincells to find that one to be a public nuisance.

ALAN COLMES: So what you're saying is that post-whoring is acceptable behavior if it makes people laugh, even though it may contribute nothing to the overall theme of the website.

INDOLIKAA KHAN: Uh, yeah. Have you read any of northcat_8's posting lately?

ALAN COLMES: You don't think he's an example of what's wrong with pdcdhelp.com?

INDOLIKAA KHAN: Are you ******* kidding me, Alan? He's...

GERALDO RIVERA: ...remember, you can't say that on live television...

INDOLIKAA KHAN: ...it's not like I'm drawing detailed war plans in the sand now, is it? Anyway, Alan, when you can make me laugh so hard I dislodge a testicle, no, how could anybody with a sense of humor be wrong for any public forum?

SEAN HANNITY: Enough said, my friend. We're going to take a break but when we come back, Capmaster the Clown joins us live via satellite from Albuquerque, New Mexico. And we're also going to take you to Timbuktu, Mali, where Reuters is reporting the discovery of a horrible crime scene. It would appear that unidentified police agencies have discovered the decomposing body of a vinyl Susan Sarandon blow-up doll. Stay with us, this FOX News Channel, fair and balanced news coverage.

[glockjs]

are all those people the voices in your head indolikaa?

someday i'll be a post whore just like you 8)

[indolikaa]

are all those people the voices in your head indolikaa?

Among others.

[housepig]

well done, sir. congratulations.

now send Geraldo back to Manson's cell, where he should've stayed lo these many years..

"what if I just jumped up and beat the dogshit outta you? that make you feel any bigger?"

[indolikaa]

well done, sir. congratulations.

now send Geraldo back to Manson's cell, where he should've stayed lo these many years..

"what if I just jumped up and beat the dogshit outta you? that make you feel any bigger?"

Geraldo will be reappearing in a forthcoming Indolikaa FOX News Special honoring Capmaster's 2000th post.

The subject matter at hand?

"Libraries and online porn. What's the problem?"

[teegee420]

Congrats, Indolikaa. I'm catching up to ya!

[Capmaster]

Indolikaa,

Although I enjoyed the post immensely, I must take exception in appearing in the same post as Susan Sarandon. They never did prove that inflatable was mine I feel so ...soiled

Apparently because our posts frequently appear in the same thread, and because of our mutual professed love of all things that cause blast damage, bleat or leak air, they have chosen me to comment on this momentous milestone. This morning Carla Aragon from the local NBC affiliate was given a network feed and tasked to interview me for KOB Radio. After tripping over the air compressor lines in the front yard, she rang my doorbell at 5:15 this morning for an interview and I came to the door half-dressed and pissed off. She left me with a transcript:

Carla: Hello, Mr. ...AAAHHHHHHH. Oh my God, is that thing real? Oooooh, it's sooo large .....uh, oh, sorry, we're still live?

Cap: Hello Carla. You're a bit long in the tooth for my tastes, and I usually like school-age girls, but you used to be a looker, so go ahead and give it a tug.

Carla: Ummm, ooohhhh kaayyyy. Hello. I'm standing here with a mister Cap Master, ....who as you know, is instrumental .......ummmmm, what is that sushi smell? .....Back to the story. Capmaster was one of the persons responsible for Indolikaa Khan's reaaching 3000 posts on VCDHELP.COM. The networks have been busy interviewing him and others this morning trying to figure out what the **** an indolikaa is? Oops ...I can't say that, huh?

Cap: Get to the point before I slap a vinyl patch on your ass and give you a good rodgering for old glory, beeyatch.

Carla: Ummm ....maybe later. Is it true that Indolikaa Khan promotes nuclear exchange with all of our enemies, and some of our friends, like France?

Cap: What's your point?

Carla: Aren't you and Indolikaa members of an inflatable love support group called "To air is human"?

Cap: Bend over again like that, you look like Britney from behind.

Carla: Ummm, thanks, I think. Back to the question, do you and Indolikaa ...

Cap: Do you know the Olsen twins?

Carla: I'm sorry, but what does that have ...

Cap: Ohhh, I can't help myself ....

Carla: Please stop rubbing yourself like that, it's very distracting ...

Cap: Ohhhhh ....Ashley ....ohhhhhh Mary Kate ......OHHHHHH

Carla: Oh my God, let's get out of here .....NOW!

Congrats Indo .....spreading the joy is no easy task, but you've assumed the task with aplomb and a genuine love for all things radioactive. You're OK in my book

[glockjs]

ok cap you scare me even more to write a sequal to indo's long short story

[Capmaster]

ok cap you scare me even more to write a sequal to indo's long short story

I think this thread should be a sticky. I'd hate to see all that work by Indolikaa end up on "Page 105" somewhere

[glockjs]

oh dont worry cap, people get scurred of your blow up sheep and run away. so they dont post.

not too far off topic, i havnt officially said "good job buddy" indolikaa

ps. you get that email yet?

[SLK001]

I'll bet that he was working on that post ever since his 2000th post!

Well, anyway, congrats to you, Indi. Looking forward to the day when you pass BJ_M in post count (who will have long ago passed BALDRICK in counts by then).

As a slacker, I just can't compete with such greatness!

[indolikaa]

Y'all are fine and decent people, and I thank you for taking time out of your busy evening to have a good laugh with me.


I'm working on 4000 right now. It will be a 'tribute' to the moderators on the forum. But it won't have Baldrick...

I'm saving Baldrick's entrance into the fray for the big 5000.

[northcat_8]

Most excellent Indolikaa. It took me a while to read it cause....well, remember when your mom caught you whackin off when you were 12, and she told you that if you kept doing that you would go blind? I didn't stop until I needed glasses.....consiquently, I'm a slow reader.

Carla Aragon


And while the rest of you may be too "good" for Miss Aragon, think back to the worst piece of ass or BJ you ever had...it was still pretty good wasn't it All pussy is good, just some better than others...and that's a fact

Sean, when I post horseshit, which according to a recent poll at dvd+rhelp.com is about 85% of the time...

It is subjective horseshit. Some call it horseshit, some call it truth. Problem is in today's tree huggin, my kid is special, politically correct, don't offend anyone, lets talk about our differences, vegetarian society, truth is not lost but is typically cloaked in so much bullshit that when you dip it in sugar it comes out looking like a ******* snowball. I call it the puss-ifi-cation of America. You know what I've been picked on, I've been laughed at, and eventually I had enough, and I stood up for myself and I busted every tooth out of that MFer's mouth and went on about life. It is not that I am some sort of big bad ass, but once people know that you will not put up with that bullshit they don't hand that type of bullshit your way.

I always find it funny that today's psychologists who say "do not spank" your children because it teaches them violence is a resolution to a situation are the same little bastards who had to go pick a switch off a tree when they got in trouble as a youth. I'll tell you what getting my ass beat as a child taught me...it taught me that if I did something that my parents didn't like or that I knew was wrong..then there was punishment coming and I did not have a choice in what punishment I got, so I had better make sure what I was going to do was going to be worth what I COULD get.

Today's children do not understand the cause and effect relationship...but that little bastard who flipped me off last friday has a clear understanding after he flipped me off for passing him. Apparently he wanted over but did not feel the need to signal...I would have let him in, I was in no hurry. But not having my crystal ball on the dashboard, I passed him and he is leaning clear across his S-10 pressing his middle finger to the passenger side window. I returned the gesture and forgot about it until I looked in my rearview mirror and behind me he has both hands pressed against the windshield of his truck flipping me off. Seeing this I slammed on the breaks and stopped my truck at the entrance of the on-ramp and I walked back to his truck as he was yelling at me while trying to roll up the window. I tried to open his door but it was locked, I started pounding on his window as I yelled "**** me? **** ME? You wanna **** me muther ******...get your punk ass out of that truck and **** me then mother ******." Still pounding on his window, trying to decide if I should hit it hard enough to break it, obviously irritated at this soon to be toothless wonder, he is in his truck dialing 911 from his cell phone. I eventually got back in my truck and went on down the road.This was clearly a case of a young man who did not think his actions would carry repricussions and that is his parent's fault. Make no mistake about it, most of today's youth do not realize that running their mouth is cause for a beating. And everyone will eventually turn 18 and then he can have his mouth busted off the sidewalk just like everyone else.

I have a problem with describing my black friends as african americans...I've known them my whole life (literally). They've never been to africa, they are not from a Tribe...they are from 2 miles down the road in cornfield county USA. If I were to move to africa, would I be an American-African? Or would they just say "the white guy"? What difference does it make? Hell before all is said and done, we are all going to have to wear name tags.

Gays are gays, if you are gay then when referencing you I will say "gay" not homosexual, not testosterone challenged...gay is gay, and if you don't like it then, don't be gay. And it is a choice. Don't try to baffle me with some kind of exposure that created your "condition"....it's not a birth defect, it's a choice. And if you don't believe me, fine...but when is the last time you saw a gay dog? or any other gay animal for that matter? Never...and 90% of the animal kingdom is raised soley by the mother...so STFU.

Parents realize that your child does have faults and make sure you keep this straight...the only one he or she is special too is you. To just about everyone else, we are happy when you take that annoying little monster home. We don't think he or she is cute. Every baby is a ugly newborn, don't show us the pictures, we don't care. But we will look so we do not offend you.

Too all you vegetarians...thank you....that leaves more red meat for me. I wonder if the caveman worried about eating read meat? Probably not or we wouldn't even be here. It amazes me how blindly society follows any advise given by a doctor or a study that sounds half way logical. STFU, my grandparents ate bacon, eggs, buttermilk, gravy every morning and lived to be 80 years old. Hell my grandma didn't even know the words "low fat", she cooked with lard and fried just about everything. If you are worried about saturated fats and a "healthy" diet...then get your lazy ass up off the couch when you get home and exercise. Your body will cleanse itself if you work it out.

Also for all you overweight people who "just can't loose weight" STFU...I know high school wrestlers who cut 30-40 every year...they know exactly what they need to eat or not eat to gain or lose 1-2 pounds...it's a matter of priorities and desire.

Sure we can talk about our differences, and that is all nice and well. But do not try to impose your beliefs on to me...because eventually talking will be done and an old mediation technique called "foot to ass" will be dusted off and brought to your doorstep.


So some may call it Bullshit Indolikaa, but I call it honesty...the majority of the people in the world are more quickly offended by the truth than they ever would be over a lie. and I say **** em' if they can't take a joke.

[indolikaa]

Northcat, I would wax Carla Aragon 'til next Tuesday!

ps. you get that email yet?

Oh yes, I did. You like?

[northcat_8]

[housepig]

. And if you don't believe me, fine...but when is the last time you saw a gay dog? or any other gay animal for that matter? Never...

last time? About 30 seconds ago. First heard about them around 1982 or 1983, when my mom was working data entry for a company that handled a lot of funding for research projects. She came home one day and said "did you know there are homosexual bulls?"

[northcat_8]

Although no definite research has been done on the subject, homosexuality has been observed, in both zoos and in the wild, among many species including dolphins, gorillas, orang-utans, chimpanzees and elephants. The reasons, Dr Frankenhuis says, are unclear but it often involves younger, immature animals.

"For example, young goats will jump on each other, mainly because the dominant adult male monopolises the females. So in one way or another they have to do something with their sexuality. But this is usually temporary, as soon as they become adults and manage to become the dominant male in the group, they will then mate with females exclusively."

In Maslow's hierarchy of needs, the most basic needs are called Physiological Needs.

Physiological needs are the very basic needs such as air, water, food, sleep, sex, etc. When these are not satisfied we may feel sickness, irritation, pain, discomfort, etc. These feelings motivate us to alleviate them as soon as possible to establish homeostasis. Once they are alleviated, we may think about other things.

Those animals aren't born gay....they are gay because of lack of options. = choice.

The same arguement could be made for the homosexuality that takes place in our prisons or with priests.

[glockjs]

thats just awesome as your desktop pic

[offline]

In Maslow's hierarchy of needs

Malsow never argued about psychological determinism,
only physiological needs. You may be right or wrong
with your views about human gays but you need a different
source to back you up.

As for animals -
Fetal development of the preoptic area of the hypothalamus
due to differing hormonal levels is now an accepted
cause behind genuine homosexuality in Animals.

-edit-

[stiltman]

My milestone? What the hell are you talking about? What did I do this time?.

You know exactly

[offline]

It will be a 'tribute' to the moderators

be afraid. be very afraid

Oh and congrats on the 3,000.

[northcat_8]

In Maslow's hierarchy of needs

Malsow never argued about psychological determinism,
only physiological needs. You may be right or wrong
with your views about human gays but you need a different
source to back you up.

As for animals -
Fetal development of the preoptic area of the hypothalamus
due to differing hormonal levels is now an accepted
cause behind genuine homosexuality in Animals.

-edit-

I couldn't find any literature to support your statement, but I am not going to profess to be a zoologist either. I can take you at your word.

How it happens really isn't important and wasn't the point of the rant, I added that dog line for an over-exaggeration effect.

[bottle-necked]

Good story and on the 3K.

vinyl goat fetishes?

I can't seem to visualize a "vinyl goat fetish" though.

[indolikaa]

It will be a 'tribute' to the moderators

be afraid. be very afraid

Man, 4000 was going to be a GREAT post. And you were going to be the star of that post, my friend.

But now that SatStorm carries the Blue Banner, I'm going to have to do some editing.

Damn. I may not wait for 4000 on this one. SatStorm and offline on a FOX News Channel special.

[flaninacupboard]

northcat, you dig chicks. most men dig chicks. is that a choice, or do you just dig chicks? same for gay folks, they dig people of the same sex. bi folks are just greedy, get whatever they can wherever they can.

well done indo, 3,000 clicks on the little submit button! well done!

[Capmaster]

This is why I love the "Off Topic" section. In the space of one page a thread can go from someone's milestone ....to feline snipers ......to animal homosexuality ....to vinyl goat fetishes .....to human greed.

God I love this place

[indolikaa]

This is why I love the "Off Topic" section. In the space of one page a thread can go from someone's milestone ....to feline snipers ......to animal homosexuality ....to vinyl goat fetishes .....to human greed.

God I love this place

Ditto.

[flaninacupboard]

perhaps we should create a page with a few forum links. weirdest topics and topics that diverged from their original point the most. i wonder how many weird members we can pick up if we keep going....?

[indolikaa]

perhaps we should create a page with a few forum links. weirdest topics and topics that diverged from their original point the most. i wonder how many weird members we can pick up if we keep going....?

Other members of my family.

[flaninacupboard]

haha, excellent. you'll have to get the technology approving gun toting Mrs on here as well!