Awards Season

[Gees]

No, not film, tv or music........
It's time once again to review the winners of the annual "Stella Awards."

The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled
coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired the
Stella awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United
States. Unfortunately the most recent lawsuit implicating McDonalds, the
teen's who allege that eating at McDonalds has made them fat, was filed
after the 2002 award voting was closed. This suit will top the 2003 list
without question.

The following are this year's winners:

5th Place (tie): Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded
$780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a
toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store
were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving
little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

5th Place (tie): A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and
medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord
Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the
car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps

5th Place (tie): Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was
leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was
not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener
was malfunctioning. He couldn't reenter the house because the door
connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family
was on vacation, and Mr.Dickson found himself locked in the garage for
eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of
dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation
caused him undue mental anguish The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

4th Place: Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded
$14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his
next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's
fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog
might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who
was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd Place: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of
Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and
broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms.
Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an
argument.

2nd Place: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner
of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom
window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred
while MS. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies
room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and
dental expenses.

1st Place: This year's run away winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma
City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago
motor home. On his first trip home, (from an OU football game), having
driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly
left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of
coffee. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and
overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the
owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded him
$1,750,000 plus a new motorhome. The company actually changed their
manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other
complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.

[Craig Tucker]

These sort of things make me so angry, these muppets that find in favour of these claims either have absolutely no common sense or are on the take.

[tgpo]

Holy crap. Ya' see, it's stupid stuff like that, that really makes me hate our judicial system. Idiots!!!

[Gees]

Yeah, pretty pathetic, huh? :c*

If they're all true, something is seriously wrong somewhere.

[tgpo]

I wanna know what idiots were on the juries. If I ever sit in on a case like that, I'll fight as much as I can to have the stupid people arrested for endangering others with their idiocity.

[Gees]

The main problem, as I see it, is the more people get away with that cr@p, the more that are likely to try for it. :c(

And you know who benefits most by all this................

[tgpo]

Okay everyone. I'll be away for a while because I'm gonna drink 400 Cokes because it doesn't say I shouldn't. I'll return rich....and bloated. See ya'll then.

[Gees]

TGPO- You have caused me severe mental anguish and irreparable damage by telling me that and causing me undue worry!!!

See you in court! Bring your checkbook!

[Craig Tucker]

$780,000 for breaking your ankle, even if somebody else was at fault (which they obviously were not) that is a hell of a lot of money. Damn even if she had been hobbled by some looney tune like in misery I would still say, shit thats a lot of money for a broken ankle.

[tgpo]

Gees, while attempting to figure out what your avatar was I stabbed my eye with a wooden spoon. I blame you for my pain and will be counter sueing you. Bring the deed to your house.

[Gees]

LOLOLOL :cD I can not top that!!!!

[Gees]

(Psssttt) Hey, TGPO - some of this stuff might make excellent mini film fodder. ;c)

[Gees]

$780,000 for breaking your ankle.

And, you wanna bet where most of that money went?

The lawyers.

[tgpo]

(Psssttt) Hey, TGPO - some of this stuff might make excellent mini film fodder. ;c)

I actually plan on financing my entire movie on pointless lawsuits. Once I sell your house and I get my Coke money I should be good to go on the first one. :P

[Gees]

LOLOLOl again! :cD

No, what I really meant was mini movies of How To Become Rich - by doing idiotic things and profitting from them. :c)

Could be a long-running series!

[Tommyknocker]

Hold the phone. Gees must think we do not know how to use search engines. These are not this year's "winners". They were fabrications up to five years ago, and have not come true yet, so guess what they are now. Here is what I found at a site had the same stories:

This
"and you wonder what's wrong with the world today?" whinge appeared on the Internet in May 2001. All of the entries in the list are fabrications -- a search for news stories about each of these cases failed to turn up anything, as did a search for each law case.

[Gees]

Yeah, pretty pathetic, huh? :c*

If they're all true, something is seriously wrong somewhere.

I'd already said that. :c)

Did you really think that I was trying to trick anyone? :c*

And do you really think, true or not, that similar cases don't transpire?

[Tommyknocker]

Nice try. No where did you mention these were pure fiction. And as the flames of righteous indignation roared (shout out to TGpo with the can of gasoline and the book of matches), you did nothing to extinguish it. Bad on ya, man, bad on ya!

[tgpo]

(shout out to TGpo with the can of gasoline and the book of matches)

The gas can doesn't say I should bath in gasoline and pick that day to start smoking. SO I'm gonna do it.

[Gees]

I don't really need to justify anything I post.

There are probably much better places to pick a fight.

Good luck. :c)

[tgpo]

Play nice ya'll. It's all in fun, right?

[Gees]

Yes. :c)

[Tommyknocker]

I'm gettin' my gun!

[tgpo]

I'm gettin' my gun!

Remember. The manual says nothing about not pointing it at your foot and firing. "I didn't know it was gonna shoot!!" That's $500,000 right there. And you got another foot as well! That's $1,000,000. That's a movie budget!!! Plus hands, arms, friends, TVs, propane tanks. The money is endless.

[Tommyknocker]

And since Gees was standing my line of fire as I was having target practice, he should pay court costs and for the emotional distress I received for not hitting three targets in a row. You say he's what? Then get it from his estate man!

[tgpo]

Gees is a she.

[Tommyknocker]

Oh noo! The drugs are wearing off!

[housepig]

links showing these are bogus

links to the real thing

[pacmania_2001]

In the actual manual of my parents Winnebago motorhome it has a warning in regards to that story. Goes along the lines of:

"The cruise control feature of this motorhome does not act as an auto pilot of this vehicle. Instead it is used to keep the vehicle travel at a certain speed without the need for the driver to use the accelarator pedel."

Disclaimer: Not word for word so don't sue me

[MOVIEGEEK]

...this is why insurance premiums are so high.
I would like to hear what adam thinks about these cases.