ART (BIT OF A LONG ONE)

[Hardcoreruss]

At the top of my road there is this really swanky art gallery, always filled up with complete and utter wankers.

I had last week off work so I was walking past it every day on the way to the pub. They have just got all these new exhibits in of these landscape photographs and for once I really liked them (there stuff is usually modern art bollocks).

The more and more I walked past the more and more they grew on me.

Well on Friday as it was my last day of work I went down the pub and got royally munted. Coming back from the pub at about eight in a taxi (I drink far too quickly) I saw there were loads of chairs layed out in the gallery. I called them up when I got in and they said that the artist himself (apparently he is really famous) was in there giving a talk, I grabbed the missus and we went up the gallery.

I was dressed like a right skank, trainers smelly jumper and ripped jeans the missus is not very well (she never looks that good anyway) and was coughing and spluttering. As soon as we got to the door this creature of a woman jumped on us and said "tickets only", ok I'll have two tickets please, "they are £20 pounds each" she said, as if to say you cant afford that, gave her forty quid and in we went.

Everyone inside is dressed immaculately (this is a REAL swanky gallery) everyone is talking posh eating their canapés and looking down there noses at "the rough that has just walked in". A waitress came over and gave us a glass of wine, as soon as the missus picked hers up she spilt it down herself (everyone is chuckling at her) I cleaned it up with my scarf to the utter disgust of everyone else (it was a moschino scarf and probably cost more than anything they were wearing).

After a quick circuit me and the missus decided on three pieces which we were going to buy, a boat on Lake Titicaca in Bolivia, Chesil Beach in Dorset and a Star Chestnut in Namibia. I walk up to one of the ladies and asked who do I see if I want to buy something. She said that I could take the postcards and pay at the till, what a cheeky bitch, I might of looked like crap but isn’t are meant to be for all people and not just posh nuts. I pointed to the pictures on the wall and said that I wanted to buy the one of Lake Titicaca (the most expensive piece in the whole exhibition). As if by magic this complete and utter c*nt suddenly attaches himself to me and is all over me like I am Britney Spears. I point at the three I want and say that I will pay now. Well you have never seen peoples attitude change so quickly, the second they saw that I was buying things they were all over us. The Leech came back with the artist himself who proceeded to talk to us for fifteen bloody minutes about how he got the perfect shot, like I give a flying ****. I am getting more and more irate as the lager is playing its hooligan tune and the missus is trying to keep me in check.

Well I pick them up next week, I will see if I can find some pics on the net and post them for you. Sorry for this long winded post I just needed to share this with you guys.

The moral of this story - "The art game is full of wankers"







EDIT - Pictures added

[Goober57]

The moral of this story - "The art game is full of wankers"

The game of life is full of wankers!!!

[Goober57]

I was dressed like a right skank, trainers smelly jumper and ripped jeans the missus is not very well (she never looks that good anyway) and was coughing and spluttering.....

Can I come over for dinner someday?

________________

[Capmaster]

I avoid art galleries like the plague. They are the biggest bunch of pretentious twats there are :P

BTW Russ ...how much did the Titicaca piece set you back?

[Hardcoreruss]

It was not that much £750

[pacmania_2001]

It was not that much £750

Once again, if you ever want to take on a trainee I'm only a year away from graduating and prepared to move.

I also like pissing off pretentious wankers.

[Hardcoreruss]

I would love to get a transfer over to your neck of the woods, this place won't let me though

[pacmania_2001]

It's pretty good here, you still have a large wanker contingent but they are more laid back.

[Hardcoreruss]

I was in Manly this time last year. I was on the jetcat at 8am over to Sydney with the missus, sitting next to me were people in suits commuting !!!

That beats the hell out of a grotty train in shitty London anyday of the week.

[pacmania_2001]

Who are you working for at the moment? Surely any half respectable place would have a Sydney office.

[Hardcoreruss]

Cantor Fitzgerald, they have many entities under them so they may not be called that in your country.

I am off home now, chat more when I get back.

[BJ_M]

it must be the thin air and lighting , but it seems as if you just can't take a BAD picture at Lake Titicaca (and the one you have is very nice to be sure) ..


http://images.google.com/images?q=lake%20titicaca&hl=en&lr=&safe=off&sa=N&tab=wi

[offline]

It was not that much £750

imo you got ripped. As for turning up to a exhibition as a
"right skank, trainers smelly jumper and ripped jeans"
I'm not surprised you got treated the way you did.

Sure; some of these showings are full of pretentious
wankers but dressing the way you did was asking
for it imo.

[Hardcoreruss]

It was not that much £750

imo you got ripped. As for turning up to a exhibition as a
"right skank, trainers smelly jumper and ripped jeans"
I'm not surprised you got treated the way you did.

Sure; some of these showings are full of pretentious
wankers but dressing the way you did was asking
for it imo.

Yeah I should of probably thought it through a bit more and if I had not been drunk I would of probably liked to of heard how he got the shots etc, to bring up when we have guests.

I don't think £750 is that bad for something which is original, it is bloody massive also, will be over 5ft framed.

[yoda313]

Hello,

5ft

What no metric????



Back on topic - glad you got a painting you liked

Kevin

[lordsmurf]

That lake shot is beautiful. It looks like a photo (is it?). Price is fine. Maybe a bit high, but that all depends on the size of the image. How big is it?

[BJ_M]

5 feet he mentioned

[BJ_M]

[Doramius]

I've been to some art galleries that weren't too bad. The wanker parts or galleries I've seen usually have to do with Photography. Only thing interesting are the porn pictures. Other than that, it's really boring and people are all wanky and snotty analyzing the pics in more detail than what they really are. The guy is eating a figgin Taco. He's not in some immense thought process of confliction to which he has to deal with in daily exposure causing him to hide his anger of public conforming. If he is thinking that, who the f**k cares. It's still a picture of the guy eating a Taco. It'd be better as Taco Bell advertisement. I'm not willing to pay more than $.0015 ruples for it.

[offline]

I don't think £750 is that bad for something which is original, it is bloody massive also, will be over 5ft framed.

1st you are owed an summary. Just contact the gallery and they
should arrange a paragraph or so of type. You can copy it and
stick one copy on the back. A pity you did not get the photographer's
signature. Also never buy at exhibition if you can help it. The gallery's add on is 30% but
at showing it can be around 160%. I'd also keep or buy a catalog with
your photo listed - this, along with your authenticity certificate,
will be your proof of originality.

[lordsmurf]

Even after seeing the images BJ_M posted, the image hardcore bought ... no contest. Still an excellent pick. That's truly a nice image. Especially if the grain is still handled well at that large size. The printing alone of such an image costs about $100 or more. It was well worth it.

[pacmania_2001]

I agree with LS, the colours are really vivid in the Lake picture.

[Hardcoreruss]

I pick them up Saturday and then they are going in the framers. I have been working it out and that is going to be bloody expensive for such a large piece not to mention the other two.

The artists name is Charlie Waite, his website is his name at .com Just looked on Amazon and he has 31 books (or variations of) all rated five stars.

The lake one on his site is only priced at £725 so that is not a bad mark up and they have fully mounted it.