giggles

[Shadowmistress]

Playing Roulette

An african ambassador visited Russia and was entertained by his opposite number, the Russian ambassador. For three days, the African ambassador was wined, dined, and generally treated to the best hospitality that Russia had to offer.

On the last day of his visit, the Russian ambassador said, "As your stay is coming to an end, it's time for you to play our traditional game, Russian roulette. One of the six chambers of this gun is loaded - you spin the cylinder, point the gun at your head, and pull the trigger."

This phased the African slightly, but he was a proud man of a warrior people, and to show fear would be unthinkable. Both men took their guns, spun, and pulled the triggers.

Both chambers were empty, and both ambassadors breathed a sigh of relief.

The African ambassador was impressed with the couragous game, and thought hard about the subject before the Russian Ambassador was due to visit his country the next year.

When the visit came, the African ambassador treated the Russian with all hospitality, until the final day of his stay. Leading him to a private room in the palace, the African ambassador spoke, "Now, time for you to sample our game, African roulette". He then led the Russian into the room, the only occupants of which were six stunning and naked women.

The African ambassador said, "These women are the most beautiful members of one of our tribes. Any one of them will give you a oral sex - take your pick".

The Russian was not entirely averse to this idea, but he couldn't see the connection with Russian Roulette. He said, "Well, ok, great, but where's the roulette part? Where's the danger?"

With a big grin on his face, the African ambassador answered:

"One of them's a cannibal."


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Canibal Family

Two cannibals in the jungle are standing over a fire with a large boiling pot, stirring the soup with wooden spoons. One cannibal says to the other, "I hate my mother in law, I really don't like her at all, she really makes me sick". The other cannibal says "So just eat the noodles".


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Twenty Penguins

A man was driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back seat. The police stop him and say that he can't drive around with the penguins in the car and should take them to the zoo. The man agrees and drives off. The next day the same man is driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back and again. He is stopped by the same police officer who says, "Hey! I though I told you to take those to the zoo." The man replies "I did. Today I'm taking them to the movies."


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New Home

One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leave her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seems OK, but after a while she slowly starts to fall over sideways in her chair.
Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seems OK, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning.
Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. They ask, "So, Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?"
"It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you fart."


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Forest Wishes

Bear and the rabbit were walking through the forest having an argument. They came across a genie who said they were each allowed three wishes. As the bear was bigger, the genie said he could have his wish first. The bear though about it and said I wish I had a 6 foot penis, which the genie did.

The genie turned to the rabbit and asked what he would like for his first wish, the rabbit said a motorbike helmet. This confused the bear and the genie but his wish was granted.

The rabbit promptly put the helmet on. The genie then turned to the bear and asked what he'd like for his second wish "I'd like all the female bears in the forest to meet me at 7 o'clock tonight. Going through his mind he was thinking "6 foot, loads of women, party!!"

Then the rabbit had his second wish - a motorbike. He sat on the motorbike with his helmet on. The genie then turned round and said "What would you like for your final wish Mr Bear". "All the bears in the forest to be female." His wish was granted. The bear was thinking "Serious party!!"

Finally the genie turned to the rabbit for his final wish. The rabbit replied "I WANT HIM TO BE GAY ", started the motorbike and pissed off.

[CuCuy]

Twenty Penguins

A man was driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back seat. The police stop him and say that he can't drive around with the penguins in the car and should take them to the zoo. The man agrees and drives off. The next day the same man is driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back and again. He is stopped by the same police officer who says, "Hey! I though I told you to take those to the zoo." The man replies "I did. Today I'm taking them to the movies."

I love that one!

[offline]

Twenty Penguins...