Best Simile You Have Come Up With On Your Own

[smearbrick1]

This is sort of hobby of mine. I don't really like over using the existing simile speak so I make up my own. For example:

I'm all over it like crabs on a sailor on shore leave.

Or....

I'm all over it like flies on a rotting corpse.

What can you come up with?

[northcat_8]

I'm on it like an ethiopian on a biscuit.

I'm madder than a 2 peckered billy goat in an empty field.

[smearbrick1]

...Like a dog eating shit through a hairbrush.

Actually, my wife's uncle uses that one.

[mattyboy]

I got a smile like a pig pissin'

[reboot]

...face like an eagle's ass in a power dive...