Apple founder Jobs joins IKEA

[BJ_M]

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/04/01/steve_jobs_joins_ikea/


By Andrew Orlowski in San Francisco
Published Friday 1st April 2005 09:54 GMT

IKEA's flatpack days may soon be a distant memory, as Apple and Pixar founder Steve Jobs turns to his latest challenge. Inter IKEA Systems BV will employ Jobs as "acting CEO", from next month. The technology icon will maintain his twin CEO roles at Apple Computer Inc. and Pixar Inc. but will also take command with a wide-ranging brief at the retail giant. For the technology guru, it's just another job, but for the Swedish furnishing franchise, it's a massive gamble. IKEA had a turnover of €13 billion last year, and has over 200 stores worldwide.

For Jobs, who has no furniture at all in his Palo Alto house, it's an opportunity to reinvent an industry once again. Exclusive mock-ups of his first designs have been obtained by The Register.

Apple fans won't be disappointed. Jobs has convinced the Apple board to second the computer company's award-winning design team to work for IKEA, and in a unique licensing agreement, the results will bear the Apple logo.

Amongst the most controversial ideas to be introduced is a radical twist on a classic concept, the "Torquemada". Intended to be the heart of the new IKEA home, the Torquemada brings a Jobs twist to the very idea of sitting comfortably.




Reaction from confidants has been univerally positive.

"Before me," writes Walt Mossberg of the Wall Street Journal in a draft obtained by The Register, "is the most beautiful chair I have seen in 25 years of sitting on chairs. It's another triumph for Jobs. Will that do, Steve?"

"At last, a chair with a point!" punned the New York Times punning technology pundit, David Pogue.

And most controversially, is the "Bönö" - a titanium object in the shape of a crucifix which emits a high pitched whine when approached.




Jobs has also plans to revolutionize IKEA store layout. The successful dense walkthrough floorplan will be discarded for a new, open plan approach based on Apple's retail stores. Instead of offering shoppers a choice of thousands of products, IKEA stores will offer just three to begin with: the Bono, the Torquemada and the "Fukka".

Jobs has other plans to shake-up the retail chain.



To the relief of many, the flatpack self-assembly aesthetic will be replaced by high margin, ready-assembled furniture. Packaging for a wardrobe codenamed "Waenka" wardrobe, obtained by The Register, shows that Apple's attention to detail seen in its lavish product packaging has not been lost.

And don't expect the famous IKEA canteen to escape the Jobs makeover. Out go the celebrated Swedish meatballs - Jobs is a fruitarian - to be replaced by a thin miso soup garnished by a solitary piece of carrot or tofu: food best enjoyed on while sitting on a "Torquemada".

Jobs is believed to have won over the phlegmatic Swedes with his legendary charm. "It's time this f***ing business of mass mutha****ing furnishing moved from the f***ing Altair era of f***ing self-f***ing assembly, to the Apple II era," he told the board.

A new future awaits us. and it's so inviting, we can hardly wait to be in it.

[Noahtuck]

Gotta love that chair

[yoda313]

Hello,

Great for Ikea! Now they can strive to control 5% of the furniture market and never gain anymore than that forever!

Kevin

[Capmaster]

Gotta love that chair

That all depends ....

[BJ_M]

Hello,

Great for Ikea! Now they can strive to control 5% of the furniture market and never gain anymore than that forever!

Kevin

5% of the furniture market would be huge

[yoda313]

Hello,



Really? I thought there wouldn't be that much framentation.....

Kevin

[Faustus]

5% of the PC market is huge.

You gotta remember Apple Considered themselves a hardware manufacturer first. So 5% is very respecable considering the other guys dont really engineer anything for the most part.

[yoda313]

Hello,

Yeah but being hardware first is what got them into their spot in the first place. Because it was all custom nobody could make cheaper clones. That's why when IBM gave up the battle over the clones the prices really dropped because anyone could make a dos/windows compatible machine. When you have more manufacturers of the hardware the prices drop and the consumer reaps the benefit.

Kevin

[Faustus]

Hello,

Yeah but being hardware first is what got them into their spot in the first place. Because it was all custom nobody could make cheaper clones. That's why when IBM gave up the battle over the clones the prices really dropped because anyone could make a dos/windows compatible machine. When you have more manufacturers of the hardware the prices drop and the consumer reaps the benefit.

Kevin

Then the hardware deversifies and your supporting 5 trillion different everythings and drivers begin to suck and next then you know... your windows.