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  1. For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."


    In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

    If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

    1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

    2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

    3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

    4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

    5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

    6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

    7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

    8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna

    9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

    10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off
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  2. Член BJ_M's Avatar
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    Jul 2002
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    this joke was from 1997 btw ... or maybe 1996
    "Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems." - Rene Descartes (1596-1650)
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  3. Banned
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    Sep 2004
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    This is so old, you can see the wrinkles on it.

    This has been passed around since windows 98 first came out.
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  4. Member Conquest10's Avatar
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    Sep 2002
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    Chicago, IL
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    Old. And I do mean OOLLLDDDD.
    His name was MackemX

    What kind of a man are you? The guy is unconscious in a coma and you don't have the guts to kiss his girlfriend?
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  5. I was bored, what can I say? I didn't even have interent access back in 96, or 97 or whatever, so it must have passed me by. Oh wells.
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  6. Member badger_fruit's Avatar
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    Dec 2004
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    Leeds, West Yorkshire, UK
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    it may be old, but it is funnay ....
    Erm, HELP!!!!!
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  7. Member Dr. DOS's Avatar
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    Sep 2004
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    Mid Atlantic
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    Funny to read again....

    Love this one: Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
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