Capmaster's Aid for long meetings

[Capmaster]

Ever been in those long ....looooong meetings, you know, the two-cheekers?

Have you ever sat there wondering how you're going to claim "Carpal-Ass Syndrome" on your health care claim?

Well, I can't help you in that area, but I have something that'll make those meetings more tolerable ...at least so you don't start considering jabbing pens or laser pointers into your scrotum just for the change of pace it offers

Presenting .....
Capmaster's "THE EYES HAVE IT"

First, forage around on the loading dock for those half-spherical styrofoam peanuts you see all over the place:



Then get the dry-erase markers and paint eyeballs on it ...don't forget to include the lids and lashes or you'll look like Homer Simpson and get funny looks:



Then, push them up against your closed eyes and hold in place ...similar to monocles:



(Sorry about the alignment. They popped out during the scan and I figured you'd get the idea anyways, so I just let it finish up )

Now ...you're free to dream about Videohelp threads, the Olsen Twins (my favorite), or quitting time ...all the while your fellow meeting attendees are none the wiser. Just don't forget to poke littleholes in the middle of the black part before the meeting ...otherwise you won't know if everyone is on to your scam and stealthily giving you a hot foot, or pointing at you and smirking.

Oh ...Yoda ..... poke the holes in the middle before you put them in place

[yoda313]

Hello,

Whew..... The first pic showed up not the others until now.... The two things in the beginning REALLY scared me....

Fortunately they were just for the EYES! (I've been in OT too LONG! )

Kevin

[BJ_M]

it is a wonder we ever got to mach 10 :P

[hech54]

First thing that came to my mind?
Steve Martin singing "I get paid....for doin' this"...

[Goober57]

I'm looking at that third picture and I'm thinking about where you work. I feel so safe.

Oh my god, somebody just shoot me!

__________________

[Capmaster]

I'm looking at that third picture and I'm thinking about where you work. I feel so safe.

Oh my god, somebody just shoot me!

__________________

You make me sound unprofessional

Yes ...I get paid for doing this. EAT YOUR HEARTS OUT, MWUUUHAHAHA!!!

Flaystus and I fortunately have jobs that require only about 50% of our brain cells and 5% of our time (although that's about to change for me for the next several years ...new project in addition to the ones I have now )

[Goober57]

I'm looking at that third picture and I'm thinking about where you work. I feel so safe.

Oh my god, somebody just shoot me!

__________________

Flaystus and I fortunately have jobs that require only about 50% of our brain cells...

But 50% of nothing is still nothing!!!

Just toss those blue cards in my general direction!

______________________

[yoda313]

Hello,

Just toss those blue cards in my general direction!

I believe you mean "YELLOW CARDS"

Kevin

[Goober57]

Hello,

Just toss those blue cards in my general direction!

I believe you mean "YELLOW CARDS"

Kevin

Nope, I mean blue cards. They didn't even have blue ones until I started posting here.

[yoda313]

Hello,

Just toss those blue cards in my general direction!

I believe you mean "YELLOW CARDS"

Kevin

Nope, I mean blue cards. They didn't even have blue ones until I started posting here.

Hello,

BLUE????

What are those???? Just a tap on the back saying "go easy"?????????

Kevin

[BJ_M]

you NEVER want to find out what a blue card is...

[Goober57]

Hello,

Just toss those blue cards in my general direction!

I believe you mean "YELLOW CARDS"

Kevin

Nope, I mean blue cards. They didn't even have blue ones until I started posting here.

Hello,

BLUE????

What are those???? Just a tap on the back saying "go easy"?????????

Kevin

Oh, heavens no. When you get a dreaded blue card the evil moderators actually
come to your home and give it to you in person.

The first time I got one I was so scared. I was trembling.
I was sweating. I wet myself, which is normal.

I'm happy to say that now I am completely reformed!
They guided me in the right direction. I am forever in their debt.

I wonder if he is still reading this crap!!! :P :P :P