A Kiss Gone Horribly Wrong

[Culley]

Couple has goodnight kiss, but no tongue

June 18, 2004

ST. PAUL. Minn. -- A goodnight kiss turned into a man's nightmare when his girlfriend bit off part of his tongue.

The 43-year-old woman told police she became frightened Wednesday morning when her boyfriend squeezed her too tightly while they kissed -- and her reflex was to bite down.

''I guess I bit down too hard,'' the woman told officers, adding that she has been victimized by men in the past.

The woman was arrested and could be charged Thursday in Ramsey County, investigators said.

Her 47-year-old boyfriend walked with the woman from her home to a restaurant, where they called police around 3:10 a.m. He was treated at a hospital.

Officers went to the woman's home to look for the tongue, but they couldn't find it.

The woman, who had been drinking with her boyfriend, told police she doesn't remember what happened to the end of his tongue. Police estimate that it measured about 1.5 inches.

She might have swallowed it, the woman said. AP

[housepig]

it's always funny to see what local stories end up in the national news...

I remember when I lived in Virginia, and drove over to my sister's place in Manassass, and hadn't heard the news all day. I turned to cut through the development next to hers, and found swarms of police, news crews, and gawking bystanders as far as the eye could see.

turns out that Lorena Bobbit lived in the apartment complex a few blocks down the street from my sister, and this was the day she had cut off his little John Wayne and thrown it in the weeds....

[tekkieman]

If they stay together, she'll end up missing out on that extra 1.5 inches!

[Capmaster]

Lorena and John Bobbitt - a classic marriage gone bad. I still have the little ditty that made its rounds from then:

THE BALLAD OF THE BOBBIT HILLBILLIES

(Sung to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies)

Come and listen to my story of a man named John.
A poor ex marine with a little fraction gone
It seems one night after gettin' with the wife,
She lopped off his schlong with the swipe of a knife.

(Penis, that is)
(Clean cut, missed his nuts)

Well, the next thing ya' know there's a Ginsu by his side
And Lorena's in the car takin' Willie for a ride.
She soon got tired of her purple-headed friend.
And tossed him out the window as she rounded a bend.

(Curve, that is)
(Pricker shrubs, wheel hubs)

She went to the cops and confessed to the attack,
And they called out the hounds just to get his weenie back
They sniffed and they barked and they pointed “over there"
To John Wayne's Henry that was wavin' in the air.

(Found, that is)
(By a fence, evidence)

Now, Peter and John couldn't stay apart too long.
So a dick doc said, "Hey, I can fix your dong!"
"A needle and a thread is all you're gonna need"
And the whole world waited ‘til they "heard that Johnny peed"

(Whizzed, that is)
(Even seam, straight stream)

Well, he heated and he hardened and he took his case to court.
With a cockeyed lawyer since his assets came up short.
They cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape,
And his pecker was the only one they didn't show on tape.

(Video, that is)
(Unexposed, case closed)

[Doramius]

Do they have prosthetics for tongues? There goes a lot of his ability to taste certain foods. Unless hes has some sort of prosthetic, he's going to have a hard time talking, too. 1.5" is quite the chunk to be bitten off. She may also be one who swallows, but I don't know how many other men are willing to find out for themselves now.

[Capmaster]

The excuse that it was a reflex reaction is lame. An inch and a half from the tip, the tongue is a pretty thick muscle. You can't accidentally bite through it unless you're from the movie Alien

[DereX888]

the woman told officers, adding that she has been victimized by men in the past.

That already explains what happened, doesnt it? Drunk bitch carried out a revenge for her 'victimized past' on current boyfriend. It'll be her line of defense in a court more likely (if there will be any charges).

[Culley]

An inch and a half is a serious amount of tongue.

................................ <---(about that much)

I'm just glad they weren't engaged in some other activity at the time!

[Doramius]

Was it species where the alien girl was having sex and her vaginal area had recessed teeth that bit the guys throbbing genitals off inside her? I think that may have been a different movie, but I know species had the girls tongue go through the back of a guys head.

I'm just glad they weren't engaged in some other activity at the time!

I know. Can you imagine that happening while getting oral.

[BJ_M]

Was it species where the alien girl was having sex and her vaginal area had recessed teeth that bit the guys throbbing genitals off inside her? I think that may have been a different movie, but I know species had the girls tongue go through the back of a guys head.

I'm just glad they weren't engaged in some other activity at the time!

I know. Can you imagine that happening while getting oral.

that was in a movie i think yes -- but it came from a famous book of lesbian horror/blood stories ...

[Doramius]

I'm remembering more of the movie a bit. If I remember right, she bit off the genitals sucked it in to this sack of 100's of eggs in her stomach. After a day or so, the sack detached itself and the alien woman had a birthing session of the sack and then would stick it in this room with other throbbing fertilized egg sacks. The whole room looked like the cocoon area from Aliens. The aliens were all females, they only allowed mortal females to live to keep the population going and you couldn't tell which were aliens or humans except for the fact that the aliens had 6 toes to a foot and an odd mark, like a birthmark on their head that's you'd only see if they shaved their head.

Anyone remember the name of that movie. I think it was made in the early to mid 90's, or maybe in the very late 80's at the earliest.

[Capmaster]

I'm remembering more of the movie a bit. If I remember right, she bit off the genitals sucked it in to this sack of 100's of eggs in her stomach. After a day or so, the sack detached itself and the alien woman had a birthing session of the sack and then would stick it in this room with other throbbing fertilized egg sacks. The whole room looked like the cocoon area from Aliens. The aliens were all females, they only allowed mortal females to live to keep the population going and you couldn't tell which were aliens or humans except for the fact that the aliens had 6 toes to a foot and an odd mark, like a birthmark on their head that's you'd only see if they shaved their head.

Anyone remember the name of that movie. I think it was made in the early to mid 90's, or maybe in the very late 80's at the earliest.

It doesn't sound like one you'd want to be watching while eating eggs

[housepig]

that was in a movie i think yes -- but it came from a famous book of lesbian horror/blood stories ...

well, that idea has been kicking around for a long time - I know there's a Robert Bloch story from the 50's with that theme, and if we go digging I'm sure we can find earlier examples.

[Doramius]

It doesn't sound like one you'd want to be watching while eating eggs

Freaks me out more when I see butterfly cocoons and large spider egg nests. I'm not arachnaphobic, but seeing that throbbing egg sac was not a pleasure. Nor was it seeing teeth in a vigina biting a mans pride off. The men's bodies are also strung up all over the room as the alien young eat the flesh. After they pupate into something that resembles a 6 year old, they start eating regular food. Apparently, after that age, human flesh is sort of a bland taste, and beer and pizza seem to be the best replacement.

Damn, I wish I could remember the movie.

[Culley]

Invasion of the Body Snatchers? Sorry, just a wild guess.

[Doramius]

Invasion of the Body Snatchers? Sorry, just a wild guess.

Good shot, but I remember that movie and it's totally different. Good one to see 'once' if you haven't.