Junk (Snail) Mail Can I get away with this?

[Ironballs]

For the UK people out there really, but any comments from around the globe would be welcome.

I sick of companies using my letterbox as their personal dustbin. I've tried the postal preference scheme, which helped a bit, but they're creeping back. It's giving me the arsehole.

Now when I was getting a lot of this shite, I used to send it back, sometimes emptying my fag ashtray into the envelope for a laugh, but just lately I've been wondering if I could get away with something a bit more dramatic.

Basically, the pre-paid envelopes they send, I was wondering whether I could stick them on my black-bin liners and ask the post office to dispose of my garbage. After they send me shite, I'm returning the favour.

Don't even get me started on junk telesales.......

any help would be appricated

Cheers

Ironballs

[Capmaster]

Ahhh - the differences between English and American-English:

"Dustbin" instead of trashcan
"Arsehole" instead of *******
"Shite" instead of shit
"Fag" instead of cigarette
"Favour" instead of favor

I'm not ragging on you Ironballs, really I'm not I hope you aren't offended as that wasn't my intent

I'm just in one of those moods where this interests me. I've always thought it was interesting how the dialect here differs from the mother tongue there. Maybe I ought to start a thread and have everyone post the different words we have for the same thing

Back to your post ... We have the same problem here. Believe me

I personally like your idea of emptying the ashtray into the return postage-paid envelope. I don't know why I never thought of that. My wife and I already mail those back either empty or with their own crap ads in them. The ashtray idea is much more forceful

[Ironballs]

Capmaster,

Its a language separated by an ocean. Mate if Webster hadn't been such an Englphobe, you yanks might be talking proper English!!

Nice avatar mate, it always gives me a giggle

ironballs

[Capmaster]

Capmaster,

Its a language separated by an ocean. Mate if Webster hadn't been such an Englphobe, you yanks might be talking proper English!!

Nice avatar mate, it always gives me a giggle

ironballs

Thanks. Yeah, you guys invented the language but it took American ingenuity to refine it to its present form with phrases like "Straight up, wigga beeyatch. I'm down with that "G"

[Ironballs]

Capster,

You just reminded me, last week I was on a training course which was presented by an American. During the break, I turned to him and said, "Just popping out for a quick fag". It was only a few minutes later I realised Fag means queer in American speak. No wonder he gave me the hairy eyeball!

[Capmaster]

Capster,

You just reminded me, last week I was on a training course which was presented by an American. During the break, I turned to him and said, "Just popping out for a quick fag". It was only a few minutes later I realised Fag means queer in American speak. No wonder he gave me the hairy eyeball!

Especially if he was gay He might have hollered (with lisp) "Oh wait ...you manly English thtud-muffin. I want to join you ...in more ways than one, you beatht!"

[Ironballs]

Just thought about that mate and I think I'm going to barf

[Capmaster]

Just thought about that mate and I think I'm going to barf

Glad it never happened. That kind of experience might have driven you to vinyl companionship, like me Cheers

[northcat_8]

OH SURE....the possibilities are endless...but you may have to be an ******* for a bit.

Suggestions:
Call the company and just ask
Call the company and get names of people who work there, then look up their home phone numbers at switchboard.com and call them at home (make sure you up the chain of command quite a ways, pee-ons don't care, but will give you names of higher ups )
File a negative report with the better business Bureau
Send them a bill for disposal, you could take them to small claims court when they won't pay.
Call them and talk to them for hours about their products (if you have spare time)
Visit their company (if they are close by)

If they send you a prepaid envelop stuff all their own shit back in it and send it back. there are several things you could put on the inside of that envelop...just make sure it can't come back to you.

The list is endless....I actually enjoy picking with them...

I have a sporting goods company that I am driving out of business right now over a $65 parking ticket. I coach football and 2 baseball teams and we buy all of our uniforms and equipment through them, litterally over 25,000 a year. Last year I was eating at the resturant that sits beside them when I got a parking ticket for being parked in their parking lot without actually being in their store , so I went to the owner asked him to tell the guy I was a customer and he wouldn't. So my business went elsewhere and so has every other high school and traveling team in the area. They only get walk in off the street business. I have actively told people about the great deals I was getting at the other sporting goods store...being that I am in meetings and friends with the other 38 high school coaches in the area, all who use to buy from this one store and now only 2 still buy from this store...I'd say business is not thriving. The guy called me the other day and asked if I was responsible because he heard that I was telling everyone the great deals I was getting at the other store....I asked him if he thought that $65 parking ticket was worth it. A friend of mine is the building inspector...they are getting inspected on thursday

Point being, you can get to them...just depends on the lengths you are willing to go. I'll help though...just tell me who the target is.

[reboot]

I haven't paid for postage in over 2 years.
Put a sticky over top the return addy, and use all those nice envelopes to send pictures of the kids to non-internet grandma.
In Canada, we can send mail to our federal govt for free, no postage needed. I get great big brown envelopes, stuff them full of every single piece of junk mail I get, and then send it to the Postmaster General, Ottawa, marked Urgent!

[Capmaster]

northcat,
Revenge is sweet

[northcat_8]

I'm usually an easy going, live and let live guy...I like just about everyone, I'm non-judgemental (it helps in my line of work) and if there is something that I don't like, or would like to stop, I will ask once nicely. After that my mentality turns and there is no way back, I will go so overboard to make their life miserable that it consumes me, I'm a fairly intelligent person and when I can toss out some worksheets and then sit and just think of ways to **** with them, I can become a pain in the ass, not worth the effort in the first place.

My cousin stole $5.00 dollars from me once...I knew it, asked her about it, she denied it, I couldn't prove it...so I let it go...(or did I?)....1 year and 2 months later, her car broke down and she asked to borrow mine, so I let her, I waited 4 hours and then called the sheriff's department and reported it stolen. They caught her, found out we were related and I denied telling her she could borrow it, they left us alone for a little bit so we could "talk" and she said "you MFer, you told me I could borrow your car." I said "I know, but you are going to jail if you don't give me back that $5.00 you stole from me last year." She gave me back the $5.00 and I didn't press charges. Steal from family that's pretty low, and yes, I would have filed charges on her...you better believe, she didn't think I was bluffing. Contrary to popular opinion I CAN be an *******.

[flaninacupboard]

woah!


Northcat, you're one twisted **********! you lent your sister your car?! have you SEEN the way women drive?!?

Seriously though, that's a little harsh over £3, you sure she stole it? if you do that over $5 to your family i feel sorry for the guy at the sports store

[Ironballs]

northcat_8

I take your point about phoning up the various companies, but that is the whole point of the crap they are sending, they WANT you to phone them (at your expense in time and phone bills).

What gets me going is all the endless rubbish that keeps coming in. I'm off on holdiay in a few weeks time and I doubt I'll get back in with the mountain of crud stacked against my door.

I remember years ago me and my brother didn't get on with a neighbour, so for a laugh we cut out all the ads in the papers and sent them off in his name. He was getting wigs, double glazing, samuri swords the lot. So one tatic in the war against junk e-mail maybe to get the names and addresses of the directors of these companies and get THEM on the junk mailing lists!

[pacmania_2001]

Note to self: Dont **** with Northcat

I've heard that putting perishables (fish, yogurt etc) can do wonders.

[glockjs]

yeah just dont use white powder...seems the authorities get really upset about that these days

[The village idiot]

yeah just dont use white powder...seems the authorities get really upset about that these days

Umm... I wouldn't put any unidentifiable substance in an envelope and send it, not in the last couple of years anyway.

[glockjs]

thats what im sayin...fbi so sensative these day... now me i always thought the ol' anthrax in the envelope joke was funny


im just joshin ya, im not even that sick n twisted...welllll....ok ok, im not

[northcat_8]

@flaninacupboard - cousin....don't have a sister, but she would have known better.

I can't stand a thief, especially one that would steal from family. We were having a family get together, the $5.00 was laying on my desk, I had just walked away, left the room, forgot something, went back, cousin was in there looking at some of my stuff hanging on the wall...money was gone...she denied. Screw that she got what she deserved. I am vengeful and I do hold grudges but I am also one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet. I stop and help people along the road, I carry groceries out of the store for women (old women too, you perverts), I still use words like Ma'am, and if my cousin would have asked me for the money then I would have given it to her, but after she stole it...then it became the principle of the whole thing.

I take your point about phoning up the various companies, but that is the whole point of the crap they are sending, they WANT you to phone them (at your expense in time and phone bills).

I remember years ago me and my brother didn't get on with a neighbour, so for a laugh we cut out all the ads in the papers and sent them off in his name. He was getting wigs, double glazing, samuri swords the lot. So one tatic in the war against junk e-mail maybe to get the names and addresses of the directors of these companies and get THEM on the junk mailing lists!

Most of them are 800 numbers. And them wanting you to call them depends on what you talk about and how often you call. Be creative. I've called them nonstop for better than 6 hours, hell I will even have my PC dial the number so when I hang up I can call right back. I'll order stuff and then call right back and cancel the order. I'll order something then call back and tell them that I have been drinking and my wife hits me. I ask them about the weather, their kids, pets, car, their product, about their competitors, where I can find it cheaper, computer problems, etc, etc...if they hang up on me I call them back. If they hang up again then I call back mad and I demand to speak to a manager....and I'm on my way up the chain of command. Sometimes you'll get a cool guy that knows what you are doing and he will laugh with you and appreciate what you are doing, that's when I say thanks, do you have anyone there that is tightly wound that you want to see pissed off today?

OH..OH..almost forgot, you have to download "Modem Spy" and when they start getting irritated at you record it, so when you call back you can play it for them...that is instant elevation up the chain of command.

Sometimes if the person tells me the call maybe recorded for "quality purposes", I tell the person "I too will be recording this call so if you guys try to screw me again I will see you and your superiors in court."

I do like the mail spamming idea...I've done it online with email address...AHHHHHHH yes....another weapon to wield. Thanks.

I think we see these things differently, you see it as a bother and I see it as an opportunity for some fun.

[pacmania_2001]

Northcat, I'll have to talk to you about some revenge ideas I need for someone who scratched my car.

[glockjs]

scratched your car you say..... a bucket of paint remover always works nice... you could leave their car on blocks, steal all the tires(ever see somebodys face when they come out and see their car on nothing but blocks?)... a little additive in the gas tank and im not talkin about helping the engine either... an automobile for an automobile, you've got a few options...

[jeex]

Ahhh - the differences between English and American-English:

"Dustbin" instead of trashcan
"Arsehole" instead of *******
"Shite" instead of shit
"Fag" instead of cigarette
"Favour" instead of favor

god i know what you mean. the internet is infested with euroshit.. its gotten so bad for me that sometimes i'll spell stuff with a U.. for example, armour.. and other things that bother me.. i feel like agent smith in the matrix (not the shiety sequels).. y'know, when he's in the office with neo and asks the 2 other agents to leave and he talks about how he's disgusted by humans.. he can feel their stench all over his body.. if i controlled the nukes, europe would be first on my list.

[Capmaster]

Ahhh - the differences between English and American-English:

"Dustbin" instead of trashcan
"Arsehole" instead of *******
"Shite" instead of shit
"Fag" instead of cigarette
"Favour" instead of favor

god i know what you mean. the internet is infested with euroshit.. its gotten so bad for me that sometimes i'll spell stuff with a U.. for example, armour.. and other things that bother me.. i feel like agent smith in the matrix (not the shiety sequels).. y'know, when he's in the office with neo and asks the 2 other agents to leave and he talks about how he's disgusted by humans.. he can feel their stench all over his body.. if i controlled the nukes, europe would be first on my list.

Jeex, you need to let these feelings out and not bottle them up. How do you really feel

[flaninacupboard]

Jeex, that's not cool. folks like you are why people have such a negative attitude towards your country, i'm not surprised you get attacked and bombed when people shoot their mouths off.

even microsoft wants to ignore the rest of the world, when installing after you tell it you're in the UK, and you speak English(British), and your time zone is GMT - London, it still sets your computer up with a ******* american keyboard layout. Why is is labelled English and English (British) anyway? it should be labelled English and English (American).

[northcat_8]

Northcat, I'll have to talk to you about some revenge ideas I need for someone who scratched my car.

I prefer the single person battles...do you know who it is?

[jeex]

Jeex, that's not cool. folks like you are why people have such a negative attitude towards your country, i'm not surprised you get attacked and bombed when people shoot their mouths off.

even microsoft wants to ignore the rest of the world, when installing after you tell it you're in the UK, and you speak English(British), and your time zone is GMT - London, it still sets your computer up with a ******* american keyboard layout. Why is is labelled English and English (British) anyway? it should be labelled English and English (American).

go to hell you turtle ******* piece of shit brit!

[pacmania_2001]

Northcat, I'll have to talk to you about some revenge ideas I need for someone who scratched my car.

I prefer the single person battles...do you know who it is?

Yeh I know the person. The hard part is finding something of theirs to target, they live at home with their parents so they don't have a house and they don't drive a car

[Capmaster]

Northcat, I'll have to talk to you about some revenge ideas I need for someone who scratched my car.

I prefer the single person battles...do you know who it is?

Yeh I know the person. The hard part is finding something of theirs to target, they live at home with their parents so they don't have a house and they don't drive a car

What about just going over and calling him outside? Nice and honorable, and if he declines, don't risk jail by popping him one. Just walk away. That way, no harm, no foul, and if you get lucky, or he's feeling stupid, and he comes outside, you can fandango all over his ass

I've always had a problem with going after someone's possessions if I have a problem with him. It's much more fun to settle it with him than keying his car or breaking a window or something else equally childish.

[pacmania_2001]

Problem is that the person is a female so I can't exactly call them out.

[zzyzzx]

Take their postage paid return envelope and tape it to a brick and mail it back to them.