Rules When Visiting Oklahoma

[indolikaa]

This could just as easily apply to my part of Arizona


Attention Visitors:

Oklahoma Tourism Council Bulletin: This list of rules will be handed to each person as they enter the state.

1. That slope-shouldered farm boy did more work before breakfast than you'll do all week at the gym. He doesn't need your respect, but he sure as hell deserves it.

2. It's called a 'gravel road.' No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your BMW. I have a four-wheel drive because I need it. Drive it or get it out of the way.

3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were nine years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.

4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get your butt kicked...by our women.

5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for that little 13-inch trout you fish for...bait.

6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. That's right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for what you paid in the airport for one drink.

9. High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks...and a dang sight more fun to watch.

10. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey. Yeah, we have sweet tea. It comes in a glass with two packets of sugar and a long spoon.

11. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice.

12. So you have a sixty thousand dollar car. We're real impressed. We have quarter of a million dollar combines that we drive two weeks a year.

13. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.

14. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks--because they want to. So, you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.

15. Yeah, we eat catfish--carp, too--and turtle. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.

16. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like it? Interstate 40 goes two ways-35 goes the other two. Pick one.

17. The "Opener" refers to the first day of pheasant season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November. You can get breakfast at the church.

18. So every person in every pick-up waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

19. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards. It spooks the fish.

Now, enjoy your visit and then go home.

[pacmania_2001]

Damn country hicks!

[shelbyGT]

12. So you have a sixty thousand dollar car. We're real impressed. We have quarter of a million dollar combines that we drive two weeks a year.

That we bought off of credit and some help from Uncle Sam and will be paying off for the rest of our lives, and some of our childrens.

[redwudz]

Indolikaa, yeah that applies around here. I get a call saying there's a dead cow at the side of the road. I ask 'How long you lived here?" They say "About a year". I say "Get used to it." Great movie that shows how some of the "backward farmers" live, "Brother's Keeper". Not a pretty life. They do work their asses off, though.

[Hatz]

12. So you have a sixty thousand dollar car. We're real impressed. We have quarter of a million dollar combines that we drive two weeks a year.

That we bought off of credit and some help from Uncle Sam and will be paying off for the rest of our lives, and some of our childrens.

Actually alot of farmers are rich as shit. I know this first hand growing up in Montana and my Grandpa, uncles and dad selling the equipment to them. I've seen them come in and pay right on the spot........no assistance from the government or anything like that. Just their money paid in full and then handed the keys.

I remember when Jack Morris (MLB pitcher, 3 World Series Rings), ended up buying a farm from one of the area farmers. He was a great pitcher but wasn't too good at the farming thing....hehe. However it was pretty fun throwing the football around with him at John Deere Days at my Grandpas store. Told him to throw a bullet to my bro.....ends up knocking him off his feet......hehehe. Great Guy. Ahhhhh the good ole days.

***End of trip down memory lane***

Hatz

[hech54]

13. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.

....and that better be Vince Gill I hear playing through your Blaupunkt car stereo at that red light....

[shelbyGT]

12. So you have a sixty thousand dollar car. We're real impressed. We have quarter of a million dollar combines that we drive two weeks a year.

That we bought off of credit and some help from Uncle Sam and will be paying off for the rest of our lives, and some of our childrens.

Actually alot of farmers are rich as shit. I know this first hand growing up in Montana and my Grandpa, uncles and dad selling the equipment to them. I've seen them come in and pay right on the spot........no assistance from the government or anything like that. Just their money paid in full and then handed the keys.

I remember when Jack Morris (MLB pitcher, 3 World Series Rings), ended up buying a farm from one of the area farmers. He was a great pitcher but wasn't too good at the farming thing....hehe. However it was pretty fun throwing the football around with him at John Deere Days at my Grandpas store. Told him to throw a bullet to my bro.....ends up knocking him off his feet......hehehe. Great Guy. Ahhhhh the good ole days.

***End of trip down memory lane***

Hatz

.

Man, I live in Kansas. I was just making a joke!