Laugh A Little

[Bud]

I know not VCD Related but.....laugh anyway..


Subject: Computer assistance; may I help you?

This has got to be one of the funniest I've heard of in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the HelpDesk employee was fired; however, he is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause."

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support Employee (now I know why they record these conversations).

"Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along and all of a sudden the words went away"

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it is on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it.Can you see that?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

"Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

"Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

"I can't reach."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No..... "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle -it's becaus it's dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes-the office lights are off and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office lights then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power failure."
"A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now."
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good. Go get them, unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I am afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too damn stupid to own a computer."

[resnullius]

i needed the laugh thx

[Mirror_Image]

Did you get that from here:

http://www.snopes2.com/humor/business/wordperf.htm

They have more fictional urban legends (as well as true stories), funny site.

[d4n13l]

I would love to work on a tech support desk, just for a week. This reminds me of the BOFH (Bastard Operator From Hell) series, some of it requires some serious nerd knowledge to understand, but there is a lot of stuff like this. I read one transcript once, where a guy phoned up a help desk saying that "Word Perfect didnt work anymore", after a few minutes of trying to sort out the guys problem, it becomes apparent that there was a power cut. LOL, classic stuff.

[wellmashed]

*scratches head,reads all posts again,scratches head again*




*shrugs*



.

[resnullius]

do you means like the one your supposed to have read before writing in it's thread?

[d4n13l]

Hehe, someone spotted my deliberate mistake I take it.

Just my little experiement. I was bored, I thought I would throw a curve ball to find the answer out to a question I sometimes ask myself. I am now glad to see that people do actually do read long posts from start to finish. What is better is that the immediate reply got it in one. I had placed my bet that it would be the second person to reply in this thread. Glad I didnt have money on it...
lol

[x2pacalypsehalx]

[d4n13l]

I actually edited (or so i thought) my first post and changed it about a bit. The edit included the link for BOFH, so here it is, again:http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/30/index.html
Dont know WTF happened there, guess I just hit back to read something whilst I was editing it and forgot to go back and submit it...

<mental note>
Remember to submit this edit this time around.
Also remember not to speak to myself in future threads.
</mental note>

[bilbogod]

Dude its 22.58 on your reply so you can't have gone out on the beers tonight yourself Ah I know...... Pop Idol Final was on!!! Damn its gonna be a quiet night in the pubs..... Still I'm out on a Belgian beer bevy this friday for three days. Hopefull I'll get laid into the bargain, otherwise this will be £70 wasted

[d4n13l]

ROTFLMAO. Dude, it is sooooo unfunny.
I was meant to be going to Berties like I said. Anyway, to cut a long story short, my girlfriend decided she wanted to go to Sailors nightclub instead. So off she goes with her friends, I just stayed at home becuase Sailors sucks (no women dressed up as school girls...).

PS
And no, I dont watch that Pop Idol bollocks. The YMCA girl was about the last time I watched it. I never watched it for the singing talent anyway, I quit watching it when the talent got better. Now its just like Star for a Night. It was so much better in the beginning, there were so many total losers it was hilarious.