Why you should only answer personal ads that have pictures

[zzyzzx]

http://entertainment.tv.yahoo.com/news/wwn/20051209/113414040002.html

MAN DATES GAL ON INTERNET FOR SIX MONTHS -- AND IT TURNS OUT SHE'S HIS MOTHER!
Friday December 9, 2005

MARSEILLES, France -- Skirt-chasing playboy Daniel Anceneaux spent weeks talking with a sensual woman on the Internet before arranging a romantic rendezvous at a remote beach -- and discovering that his on-line sweetie of six months was his own mother!

"I walked out on that dark beach thinking I was going to hook up with the girl of my dreams," the rattled bachelor later admitted. "And there she was, wearing white shorts and a pink tank top, just like she'd said she would.

"But when I got close, she turned around -- and we both got the shock of our lives. I mean, I didn't know what to say. All I could think was, 'Oh my God! it's Mama!' "

But the worst was yet to come. Just as the mortified mother and son realized the error of their ways, a patrolman passed by and cited them for visiting a restricted beach after dark.

"Danny and I were so flustered, we blurted out the whole story to the cop," recalled matronly mom Nicole, 52. "The policeman wrote a report, a local TV station got hold of it -- and the next thing we knew, our picture and our story was all over the 6 o'clock news. "People started pointing and laughing at us on the street -- and they haven't stopped laughing since."

The girl-crazy X-ray technician said he began flirting with normally straitlaced Nicole -- who lives six miles away in a Marseilles suburb -- while scouring the Internet for young ladies to put a little pizzazz in his life.

"Mom called herself Sweet Juliette and I called myself The Prince of Pleasure, and unfortunately, neither one of us had any idea who the other was," said flabbergasted Daniel.

"The conversations even got a little racy a couple of times.

"But I really started to fall for her, because there seemed to be a sensitive side that you don't see in many girls.

"She sent me poems she had written and told me about her dreams and desires, and it was really very romantic.

"The truth is, I got to see a side of my mom I'd never seen before. I'm grateful for that."

When starry-eyed Daniel asked Sweet Juliette to send him a picture, Nicole e-mailed him a photo of a curvy, half-clad cutie she'd scanned from a men's magazine.

"The girl in the picture was so beautiful, I begged Juliette to meet me on the beach -- and Mom said yes," he recalled. "Mom says she was falling for me, too, and she just wanted to meet me, even though she knew I'd be disappointed when I saw her.

"As for me, I figured I was going to find the girl of my dreams.

"I guess that's about as wrong as I've ever been."

Daniel admits he and his mother could do little but stammer and stutter around each other for days after their cyberspace exploits came to light. And his father Paul -- Nicole's husband of 27 years -- wasn't too happy when the story hit the news and his beer-drinking buddies made him the butt of their jokes.

"Dad was ticked for a while and he forbid Mom to talk to anybody on the Internet ever again," said embarrassed Daniel.

-edit-
title changed
-Offline

[waheed]

[zzyzzx]

"People started pointing and laughing at us on the street -- and they haven't stopped laughing since."

[offline]

zzyzzx,

could you remove the"MILF" acronym from your subject heading please?

[Supreme2k]

Why's that?

Matron I'd Like(to be) Friends(with)?
Maternal Inquisitive eLectronic Female?
My Individual Letter Finder?

Quit being so overly PC, Churchy McPrude-cicle. :P

[offline]

I invite you to spell out what it really means Supreme2k. No? Just as I thought. All bloat and no balls.

[MackemX]

I would link to that funny video showing the kid chatting on IM's but I can't find it

[adam]

Brings new meaning to an acronym

What acronym?

[offline]

<sotto voce> MILF

...now I've done it! You triksy hobbit!

[zzyzzx]

You have to watch the movie American Pie to find out what it means. Or just look it up on the internet. The mods probably wouldn't appreciate me saying exactly what it is here.

[adam]

I was joking because of the title change. I think just about anybody on the internet knows what that means now.

[Noahtuck]

I was joking because of the title change. I think just about anybody on the internet knows what that means now.

I was telling my buddie last night about this and he was like, "what's MILF" stand for he is in NO WAY sheltered & 41 years old
I've went out with a few chick's before between 33 & 40 & they did not know what it was after being called it

[offline]

I was joking because of the title change. I think just about anybody on the internet knows what that means now.

..and I was joking about not knowing you were joking

[adam]

..and I was joking about not knowing you were joking

And I was talking to zzyzzx

But wait, who's on first?

[lordsmurf]

who's on first?

Who's On First
Performed by "Abbott &Costello"

Abbott: Well Costello, I'm going to New York with you. The Yankee's manager gave me a job as coach for as long as your on the team.
Costello: Look Abbott, if your the coach, you must know all the players.
Abbott: I certainly do.
Costello: Well you know I've never met the guys. So you'll have to tell me their names, and then I'll know who's playing on the team.
Abbott: Oh, I'll tell you their names, but you know it seems to me they give these ball players now-a-days very peculiar names.
Costello: You mean funny names?
Abbott: Strange names, pet names...like Dizzy Dean...
Costello: His brother Daffy
Abbott: Daffy Dean...
Costello: And their French cousin.
Abbott: French?
Costello: Goofe'
Abbott: Goofe' Dean. Well, let's see, we have on the bags, Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third...
Costello: That's what I want to find out.
Abbott: I say Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third.
Costello: Are you the manager?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: You gonna be the coach too?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: And you don't know the fellows' names.
Abbott: Well I should.
Costello: Well then who's on first?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: I mean the fellow's name.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy on first.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The first baseman.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy playing...
Abbott: Who is on first!
Costello: I'm asking you who's on first.
Abbott: That's the man's name.
Costello: That's who's name?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: Well go ahead and tell me.
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: That's who?
Abbott: Yes.
PAUSE

Costello: Look, you gotta first baseman?
Abbott: Certainly.
Costello: Who's playing first?
Abbott: That's right.
Costello: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?
Abbott: Every dollar of it.
Costello: All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name on first base.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy that gets...
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: Who gets the money...
Abbott: He does, every dollar of it. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.
Costello: Who's wife?
Abbott: Yes.

PAUSE

Abbott: What's wrong with that?
Costello: All I wanna know is when you sign up the first baseman, how does he sign his name?
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: How does he sign...
Abbott: That's how he signs it.
Costello: Who?
Abbott: Yes.

PAUSE

Costello: All I'm trying to find out is what's the guys name on first base.
Abbott: No. What is on second base.
Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.
Abbott: Who's on first.
Costello: One base at a time!
Abbott: Well, don't change the players around.
Costello: I'm not changing nobody!
Abbott: Take it easy, buddy.
Costello: I'm only asking you, who's the guy on first base?
Abbott: That's right.
Costello: Ok.
Abbott: Alright.

PAUSE

Costello: What's the guy's name on first base?
Abbott: No. What is on second.
Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.
Abbott: Who's on first.
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott: He's on third, we're not talking about him.
Costello: Now how did I get on third base?
Abbott: Why you mentioned his name.
Costello: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third?
Abbott: No. Who's playing first.
Costello: What's on base?
Abbott: What's on second.
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott: He's on third.
Costello: There I go, back on third again!

PAUSE

Costello: Would you just stay on third base and don't go off it.
Abbott: Alright, what do you want to know?
Costello: Now who's playing third base?
Abbott: Why do you insist on putting Who on third base?
Costello: What am I putting on third.
Abbott: No. What is on second.
Costello: You don't want who on second?
Abbott: Who is on first.
Costello: I don't know.
Together: Third base!

PAUSE

Costello: Look, you gotta outfield?
Abbott: Sure.
Costello: The left fielder's name?
Abbott: Why.
Costello: I just thought I'd ask you.
Abbott: Well, I just thought I'd tell ya.
Costello: Then tell me who's playing left field.
Abbott: Who's playing first.
Costello: I'm not...stay out of the infield!!! I want to know what's the guy's name in left field?
Abbott: No, What is on second.
Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.
Abbott: Who's on first!
Costello: I don't know.
Together: Third base!

PAUSE

Costello: The left fielder's name?
Abbott: Why.
Costello: Because!
Abbott: Oh, he's center field.

PAUSE

Costello: Look, You gotta pitcher on this team?
Abbott: Sure.
Costello: The pitcher's name?
Abbott: Tomorrow.
Costello: You don't want to tell me today?
Abbott: I'm telling you now.
Costello: Then go ahead.
Abbott: Tomorrow!
Costello: What time?
Abbott: What time what?
Costello: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's pitching?
Abbott: Now listen. Who is not pitching.
Costello: I'll break your arm if you say who's on first!!! I want to know what's the pitcher's name?
Abbott: What's on second.
Costello: I don't know.
Together: Third base!

PAUSE

Costello: Gotta a catcher?
Abbott: Certainly.
Costello: The catcher's name?
Abbott: Today.
Costello: Today, and tomorrow's pitching.
Abbott: Now you've got it.
Costello: All we got is a couple of days on the team.

PAUSE

Costello: You know I'm a catcher too.
Abbott: So they tell me.
Costello: I get behind the plate to do some fancy catching, Tomorrow's pitching on my team and a heavy hitter gets up. Now the heavy hitter bunts the ball. When he bunts the ball, me, being a good catcher, I'm gonna throw the guy out at first. So I pick up the ball and throw it to who?
Abbott: Now that's the first thing you've said right.
Costello: I don't even know what I'm talking about!

PAUSE

Abbott: That's all you have to do.
Costello: Is to throw the ball to first base.
Abbott: Yes!
Costello: Now who's got it?
Abbott: Naturally.

PAUSE

Costello: Look, if I throw the ball to first base, somebody's gotta get it. Now who has it?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: Who?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: Naturally?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: So I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally.
Abbott: No you don't you throw the ball to Who.
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: That's different.
Costello: That's what I said.
Abbott: Your not saying it...
Costello: I throw the ball to Naturally.
Abbott: You throw it to Who.
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: That's what I said!
Abbott: You ask me.
Costello: I throw the ball to who?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: Now you ask me.
Abbott: You throw the ball to Who?
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: Same as you! Same as YOU!!! I throw the ball to who. Whoever it is drops the ball and the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow, Triple play. Another guy gets up and hits a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know! He's on third and I don't give a darn!
Abbott: What?
Costello: I said I don't give a darn!
Abbott: Oh, that's our shortstop.

The End

[Supreme2k]

I invite you to spell out what it really means Supreme2k.

Mom I'd Like (to)


Well, you did invite me.

[doppletwo]

In the TV edit it's Mother I'd Like (to) Feel.

[offline]

Now that was silly

[Noahtuck]

I invite you to spell out what it really means Supreme2k.

Mom I'd Like (to)


Well, you did invite me.

Is Finger allowed



EDIT:
Fornicate :P

[MackemX]

I thought this was locked?

now I've forgotten was I was going to say last time when I was going to reply!

[zzyzzx]

Why's that?

Matron I'd Like(to be) Friends(with)?
Maternal Inquisitive eLectronic Female?
My Individual Letter Finder?

Quit being so overly PC, Churchy McPrude-cicle. :P

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=milf

[Noahtuck]

For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge

Van Halen SOOOOOOOOOO ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!

[img]https://www.videohelp.com/forum/images/guides/p1426734/****.jpg[/img]

[thecoalman]

Now that was silly

As per the original post, the word or the context? I've even seen the boss use that before. I sthat word no longer allowed?

[lordsmurf]

I sthat word no longer allowed?

It's not politically correct. It insults Mother Americans.

[offline]

thecoalman,

The acronym is ok inside a thread, but so long as it is not spelt out or in the subject heading - it is kind of a grey area. Opinions will differ but Baldrick's directions are clear: we must keep offtopic reasonably clean or lose it. This does not mean we can't have fun - just keep it worksafe or link to it with a suitable warning if it isn't.

[MOVIEGEEK]

Well at least he found a woman his mom would like.

[tweedledee]

Aparently the story was a load of crap

http://www.snopes.com/risque/mistaken/netmother.asp

[zzyzzx]

Aparently the story was a load of crap

http://www.snopes.com/risque/mistaken/netmother.asp

I guess some things really are too good to be true! Still a good story though.

[gll99]

I thought this story was funny but bs when I heard it on the Jayvid Lenomen show