Women Allegedly Assault Man With Tongs

[zzyzzx]

Women Allegedly Assault Man With Tongs
Wed Dec 22, 8:57 PM ET

SAVANNAH, Ga. - Police are looking for two women they say sexually assaulted a man with a pair of cooking tongs in a drug-related attack.

Savannah-Chatham Metropolitan police say the victim, a 25-year-old man, awoke Saturday morning with a metal object protruding from his ass.

The victim, who police say was using cocaine at the time, told police he does not remember much of what happened.

He told doctors he was drinking and using cocaine at his mobile home Friday night when he saw two women outside his home and invited them in.

The victim's cousin took him to Memorial Health University Medical Center Saturday after he complained of pain. Doctors surgically removed an object identified as "one half of a pair of food tongs," and turned it over to police.

No information was available on the man's condition, according to a hospital spokesman.

The two women are wanted on aggravated sexual battery charges, but police say they aren't having much luck finding them.

"We have no descriptions of the women, being that (the victim) is not cooperating with the police," police spokesman Sgt. Mike Wilson said. "And there's little we can do to urge cooperation."

[Conquest10]

Which brings me to my next topic..Don't smoke crack.

[yoda313]

Hello,

Man I thought the title said "attacks with THONGS!"

I must read the tiles more closely next time :P :P

Kevin

[stiltman]

Gives new meaning to pinching one off in the morning

[Capmaster]

Savannah-Chatham Metropolitan police say the victim, a 25-year-old man, awoke Saturday morning with a metal object protruding from his ass.

Somehow I doubt it was reported in these words...I smell bullshit

[Guest]

Hello,

Man I thought the title said "attacks with THONGS!"

I must read the tiles more closely next time :P :P

Kevin

Me too

[yoda313]

Hello,

Man I thought the title said "attacks with THONGS!"

I must read the tiles more closely next time :P :P

Kevin

Me too

Hello,

At least I wasn't the only one!

Kevin

[Capmaster]

[stiltman]

Savannah-Chatham Metropolitan police say the victim, a 25-year-old man, awoke Saturday morning with a metal object protruding from his body

http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=352954

[Conquest10]

Savannah-Chatham Metropolitan police say the victim, a 25-year-old man, awoke Saturday morning with a metal object protruding from his ass.

Somehow I doubt it was reported in these words...I smell bullshit

That's the first thing I thought.

Like in the ATHF episode, "We're sorry but we cannot send you a 'buttload of organs'. I didn't say buttload. I said 'assload'!"

[hech54]

Here is the story:
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=817&ncid=757&e=10&u=/ap/20041223/ap_on...ng_tong_attack

[Capmaster]

Hmmm ...guess it is real then. Somebody had just spiced up the story with "ass" for "body" :P

I guess it was her way of saying "Tongs for the memories"

[hech54]

I can't think of any other of a man's bodily orifices that tongs would fit into....can you?..

[zzyzzx]

So what if I took poetic license and changed body to ass? Were you thinking that the tongs were inserted someplace else?

[Capmaster]

So what if I took poetic license and changed body to ass? Were you thinking that the tongs were inserted someplace else?

It wouldn't be nearly as funny if the tongs were protruding from his ...mouth

[hech54]

That reminds me of a story that a guy claimed he was raped by two women. He actually used a date rape drug on one of the women and scared the other into not talking.
Anyway...I remember a comedian asking:
"Guys....if a woman walks up to you with a gun to your head and says GET IT UP....NOW!!!!...do you think it is going to work?"...

That guy needed a better story...

[Capmaster]

"Guys....if a woman walks up to you with a gun to your head and says GET IT UP....NOW!!!!...do you think it is going to work?"...

It depends. Rosie O'Donnell ....NFW Olsen Twins - oh hailllll yes!! 8)

[tekkieman]

Is this a popular sport in that part of the country? I might consider relocation....

[Capmaster]

Is this a popular sport in that part of the country? I might consider relocation....

Kin-kaaayyyy, tekkie
Oh ...the male rape .....never mind ....

[Ripper2860]

I'm sure he just did not anunciate clearly and had merely asked that they insert a tongue in his orifice rather than a tong.

Yeah -- I'm pretty sure that was it.





See what happens when you don't speak clearly and you mumble?






Jeez -- even I can't believe I just posted what I did !!

[MrMoody]

I'm sure he just did not anunciate clearly and was merely asking that they insert a tongue in his orifice rather than a tong.

Good point, or maybe he called them from a cell phone and they misunderstood him, like in the commercials.

[MrMoody]

As far as male rape, my cousin always says you can't rape the willing ...

[bazooka]

Which brings me to my next topic..Don't smoke crack.

I can just see LT saying that right now.

[Capmaster]

I'm sure he just did not anunciate clearly and had merely asked that they insert a tongue in his orifice rather than a tong.

Good call, Ripper!

[zzyzzx]

Is this a popular sport in that part of the country? I might consider relocation....

You want to wake up with tongs sticking out of your ass?

[yoda313]

Is this a popular sport in that part of the country? I might consider relocation....

You want to wake up with tongs sticking out of your ass?

Hello,

Ok now I'm not much of a PC person but that Richards Simmons graphic IS a bit offensive.....

Kevin

[bazooka]

Is this a popular sport in that part of the country? I might consider relocation....

You want to wake up with tongs sticking out of your ass?

Hello,

Ok now I'm not much of a PC person but that Richards Simmons graphic IS a bit offensive.....

Kevin