Shift Change: A Short Story -- Part III

[Tommyknocker]

// I see neither the humor nor the point to this post.
// While we at videohelp.com have a good humor, and jab at each other,
// this does not seem to fit into the norm. Seems more like instigation.
// Not worth a warning, but worth mentioning it's inappropriateness.
// This is in response to complaints in the complaints thread.
// -- moderator lordsmurf

"Why didn't you just go ahead and shoot a red card up his back avenue where it would do the most good?", Capmaster growled.

"Because I'm a hopeless romantic when it comes to trying to see the good in people." Lord Smurf laughed, flicked his cigarette butt towatrd an ashtray twenty feet away and had lit another before it bounced to rest in the middle of the ashtray.

"You really need to give those up." Cap said, fanning the sweet stench away from his nostrils.

"Tell me about it. Anyway, the message should bring him around to knowing he's out of line, and make everyone happier in the long run."

"I've been here just a little longer, and the only way these problems seem to resolve themselves is to help them off the site, or the member gets bored, or their mommy sends them to bed to take their afternoon nap."

Lord Smurf couldn't catch the snicker before it came out and smiled at Da Prez for his quick wit. "Well, we'll see once he gets my message ."

"He just did. Funny, you don't look like you have your head up your arse." Cap laughed, looking at the reply to the last post.

"Let me see that."

"Then you need to get your head outta your arse and lighten up. Anyone who goes to lengths of painting cd/dvd so they may print on them seems a little wacky. So if you can't laugh at that or seem to think it was meant in an offensive way then I have some .45 calibur asprin you can take to make your miserable life end sooner then to drag it on in anal retentive moderator lifestyle. "

"Remember, 'Never shoot in anger'."

"I don't plan to. This to me is more like taking out the trash. All things being equal, he does resemble a very full trash bag."

"Not just on the outside, he's full of garbage, from what I've heard so far. Better do somthing quick, he's headed for Log Out Corner. Bet you lunch he makes it."

"You're on." Smurf took his lit cigarette, put it behind his left ear, placed his deck full of red cards up to his teeth, bent a corner of a card.

"What are you doin'?"

"Altering its aerodynamics." He took the bent card with his left hand shot the card toward the corner hallway, knee-high. It seemed to be headed toward the wall, ahead of the portly Chunk T, but at the last second it curved, turned parallel to the ground, and sliced through his leg just below the knee. He screamed as the leg became separated and his fat mass rolled to the floor.

"Hey no fair. You're using more than one card."

"You'd have an argument if that were true." He said, taking the cigarette from ear and putting it back in his mouth. The card left the leg area, whirled in a wide arc, and re-entered the blob at his prone torso, sliced through his rib cage, through his left lung, heart, right lung, back out through the rib cage and stuck in the exit door. The body shook for a moment, then lay still.

"Man, you bring it." Capmaster said.

"So they tell me. So where's lunch?"

"This forum has a cafeteria with a pastrami and swiss that's to die for."

"So that's what he had." Lord Smurf snorted.

"Good one." Cap laughed as well. Tommyknocker rolled his wheelbarow by to begin cleaning up the remains.

"Sorry, Tommy" Smurf said.

"Are you kidding? I just won the Chunk T Dead Pool."

"Was it big?"

"Let's just say my daughter has college tuition for next year taken care of. Who says this job doesn't have fringe benefits?"

************************************************** ***********

[lordsmurf]

It's not often I truly laugh out loud from something I read online.
That's an Indolikaa-class story.

[bazooka]

Another classic TK.

[Capmaster]

I still have tears in my eyes. Beautiful ...

There may be a "Post Whorelitzer" in this for ya TK

[tekkieman]

I don't want to take anything away from TK's literary masterpiece, but the real-life story was soooo much funnier!

[Tommyknocker]

I don't want to take anything away from TK's literary masterpiece, but the real-life story was soooo much funnier!

I have to agree with you on that, Tekkie. It was what inspired me. Anyway, to LordSmurf, Bazooka, Capmaster, and Tekkieman, thanks for the warm sentiments!