Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?

8th Dec 2004 09:45 #1

Member

(This is a joke... this is not a political statement)

Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

Question: How do you tell the difference between
Democrats, Republicans and Southern Republicans?

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge
knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams
obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.

You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot You have
mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or Oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Republican's Answer:

BANG!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

click.....(sounds of reloading)...

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy!

8th Dec 2004 09:46 #2

Guest

tick,tick,tick......

8th Dec 2004 09:48 #3

VCDHunter

Member

Very funny.

Buddha says that, while he may show you the way, only you can truly save yourself, proving once and for all that he's a lazy, fat bastard.

8th Dec 2004 09:50 #4

Dr. DOS

Member

Originally Posted by Dr.Gee

tick,tick,tick......

Nah... I hope not... if everyone is cool about it... it is pretty funny though....

8th Dec 2004 09:53 #5

Conquest10

Member

Don't see what's so funny about it... tick tick tick...

His name was MackemX

What kind of a man are you? The guy is unconscious in a coma and you don't have the guts to kiss his girlfriend?

8th Dec 2004 10:34 #6

888888

Member

I am looking for those crazy dancing locks but I can't find them. Oh well.

Don't see what's so funny about it... tick tick tick...

The funniness is in the democrat's many politically correct thoughts.