Indolikaa Khan Demystified

[indolikaa]

The following is being brought to you as a public service by Indolikaa Khan. It is hoped the information contained in this post will help you better understand the man, and avoid any future embarrassment caused by your sensational ability to employ a metatarsal-oral inversion. The dictator's personal emmisary thanks you for your time in this matter.


Indolikaa Khan.

The very name strikes fear in the heart of decent men. Much like a herpes outbreak at a French whorehouse, the presence of this single individual is enough to create instant chaos for Baptist ministers and forum administrators alike.

But the real Indolikaa Khan is more than just a public image of excessive ego-stroking and unreasonable shameless behavior. The real Indolikaa Khan is that small part of all of us that remains hidden from the public eye. And try as the public may, a man with the reputation of Indolikaa Khan just can't be kept down, no matter how many times you might try.

So let's take a closer look at the man we all love to spite, and remove the shroud of mystery from one of mankind's modern marvels.


Is Indolikaa Khan his real name?
Do you think he's stupid enough to use his real name on an anonymous Internet forum? Or were you really born with your head shoved twelve inches up your ass?

Does he really live in Snowflake, Arizona?
We think. Althought nobody there will admit knowing him, the fact that he doesn't use his real name may have something to do with it.

Is he really from Albuquerque, New Mexico?
We're pretty sure on this one. For starters, he can spell Albuquerque correctly.

I've seen him mention the various occupational settings he's been employed within. Do you have any idea why there are so many?
It might have to do with the fact that he's a freelance programmer. It might also have to do with the fact that he's an expert in personnel management. But in reality, it's probably because he's incredibly lazy and doesn't kiss enough corporate ass for long-term survival.

Did he really work around nuclear weapons?
We believe this to be true. Although we have uncovered conflicting information, we believe that he spent a number of years working at the Sandia Corporation. The fact that his balls are the size of cantaloupes and glow a bright green were contributing factors in our decision.

I've heard he was schooled for a time in the United Kingdom. Do you think it's true?
He speaks proper English as well as any wanker you'll meet across the pond. We think there may be some truth to this rumor.

Does he have a college degree?
We don't think so. We cannot envision any scenario where he would be forced to complete coursework not directly related to his chosen profession. His passionate distaste for the 'four-year' collegiate cirriculum has been well-documented. He is known to possess no less than 22 certifications in the fields of emergency medicine, emergency services, and computer technology.

I've heard he's an *******. What's your view on this?
We agree.

How does he manage to spend so much time at videohelp.com and yet still be able to have a life?
We're not sure on this one. We think it may have something to do with the fact that he owns enough bandwidth to be his own ISP. The term 'concantenated frames' has been muttered in his presence before.

Where the hell did he get all his money?
We're not sure on this one, either. Speculation is that he runs his own online porn empire. We can't think of another reason why he would have three independent connections to the Internet. Can you?

What is he burning that would require three DVD burners and four CD burners?
It has been suggested that the Esteemed One is a P2P junkie. We doubt this to be the case, for several reasons. First and foremost, he stocks more rewritable media than he does recordable media. Second, he only stocks Taiyo Yuden burnable media. We all know that real pirates will spend any amount necessary to get the material they want, but wouldn't spend 1¢ extra per disc just to increase burn quality. Pirates are cheapshits. The theory just won't hold water.

How many computers does he really own?
We have no ******* idea. We were once allowed to join him for a rare social interaction at his residence. We were allowed to view The Vault, where his technology collection is stored for future generations. Our experts believe they saw an Apple III computer in near-perfect condition, but this was never confirmed by our intelligence staff. We do know there were at least 24 different printers and 6 Beta VCRs. However, rumor has it that the entire collection was recently sold, so we may never be able to confirm this.

Is it true he laughs at his own writing?
Yes.

Wouldn't that normally get someone locked up at the Funny Farm?
Not when the Funny Farm people are laughing harder.

Why does Baldrick tolerate his presence?
If we could answer this question, we could solve a lot of mankind's problems.


The Indolikaa Khan Demystified thread has been created for you, the videohelp.com member. It will never be complete, but we are always standing by to answer any additional questions you might like to ask. Knowledge is power, and it is through this power that we one day hope to tear away the disguise and reveal the true nature of the man.

Feel free to ask any questions regarding Indolikaa Khan. We are here to help.


Dr. I.P. Freilee
Department of Psychiatric Medicine
Snowflake University

[Capmaster]

Although we have uncovered conflicting information, we believe that he spent a number of years working at the Sandia Corporation. The fact that his balls are the size of cantaloupes and glow a bright green were contributing factors in our decision

I work there now and I've been there many years
Do you suppose that's why the nightlight keeps me awake some nights ....and we don't own a nightlight?

Truly a man of mystery, this Indolikaa Khan. I would like to hear the whole story some day .....and I'd like to hear how that glowing issue resolves itself

And, yes, anybody who can spell Albuquerque correctly is from Albuquerque

[northcat_8]

I've heard he's an *******. What's your view on this?
We agree.

Ah I see we have a common bond...someone once told me to always make an impression...even if it's a bad one...make sure the people who meet you remember you

[jimmalenko]

If you are up for it Indo, why don't you start a "profiling" thread ? Every now and then PM different users a standard set of questions about themselves. Once they respond with the answers, use your own creative genius to tweak the answers to be more humorous. It would fit in well with the Class of 2004 pic IMO.

Just a thought.

[indolikaa]

If you are up for it Indo, why don't you start a "profiling" thread ? Every now and then PM different users a standard set of questions about themselves. Once they respond with the answers, use your own creative genius to tweak the answers to be more humorous. It would fit in well with the Class of 2004 pic IMO.

Just a thought.

Hmmm....

We believe this to be a viable plan. Only someone like Indolikaa Khan could take thousands of different answers and find thousands of different ways to conclude everyone else is an *******, too. We will contact the Esteemed One regarding your most excellent idea.

[jimmalenko]

Only if you have the time mind you ...

[northcat_8]

Only if you have the time mind you ...

"IF"

[Cobra]

conclude everyone else is an *******, too.

Am I an *******? I think there was a thread about me before, can't remember the outcome though.

[shoozleboy]

And, yes, anybody who can spell Albuquerque correctly is from Albuquerque

Al-ber-ker-kee........

........yep, guess I'm not from there!

[yoda313]

And, yes, anybody who can spell Albuquerque correctly is from Albuquerque

Al-ber-ker-kee........

........yep, guess I'm not from there!

Hello,

I like Weird Al's Alburqurque song:

A L B U R "qurqy" !!!!

Kevin

---It's funnier if you hear it yourself ---

[DVD_Ripper]

The Man... The Myth... The Legend.

I look forward to the second installment from Dr. Freilie or one of his associates: Dr. I.P. Freeley, Dr. I.P. Nightly or Dr. Seymour Butts

[indolikaa]

conclude everyone else is an *******, too.

Am I an *******? I think there was a thread about me before, can't remember the outcome though.

The Department of Psychiatric Medicine of Snowflake University has given your situation much thought. After several hours of heated debate, we have come to the conclusion that citizens of the British empire cannot be legally construed as ********. Our decision is due, in part, to the fact that your government built a tunnel connecting the United Kingdom to France. Such a project defies reasoning, and would bring dishonor and insult to respectable ******** the world over. We believe the term 'bloody wankers' would be more appropriate. - Dr. I.P. Freilee

Jolly good! wot wot - Indolikaa

[northcat_8]

I believe Cobra to be an exceptional wanker...thereby EARNING the title "Bloody ******* Wanker"

[Ripper2860]

Indo --

OMFG!!!

The tidbits revealed can only draw me to one conclusion ....

... You are my long missing Brother!!


I've missed you so much!

[Shocker Milwaukee]

I need the Indolikaa Special demystified. Any links to archetypal examples?

[lordsmurf]

Can I re-encode Indolikaa Kahn so he fits on one CD with DVD quality?

[northcat_8]

Yea, but you have to demux him first and then convert him to KVCD.

[indolikaa]

I need the Indolikaa Special demystified. Any links to archetypal examples?

So do we. If you remember, there was a Newbies 107 seminar scheduled specifically for this purpose. However, although the good professor claims he was preoccupied with the recent purchase of an AR-15 assault rifle for jackrabbit hunting, we think its because he forgot to check his own schedule. Typical behavior from an overpaid and underwork university scholar. - Dr. I.P. Freilee

Can I re-encode Indolikaa Kahn so he fits on one CD with DVD quality?

A 3" CD-R would probably suffice.

[lordsmurf]

A 3" CD-R would probably suffice.

Can you guess what dirty comment comes to mind? ... stubby. 8)

[Cobra]

Shocker - I believe the Indolikaa Special resembles the situation presented in your avatar.

[Capmaster]

Shocker - I believe the Indolikaa Special resembles the situation presented in your avatar.

Yes - a Desert Eagle pointed at you has marvelous persuasive powers. Not unlike an Indolikaa Special

[yoda313]

Hello,

Where's my super-duper ultra remastered Indolika VERSION 3.0???? I want the improvements just like the new StarWars Dvd sets!!!! I want MORE!!!

Kevin

[gitreel]

You may not like the new and improved Indo special.

[menes777]

Is that like the double sided light sabre that kills with one strike?

[gitreel]

Is that like the double sided light sabre that kills with one strike?

"The world may never know".

[glockjs]

i come back and i see indo is still not taking his meds. if anything i think this fictional reality indo seems to be stuck in has gotten worse.

haha :P