Women 101

[northcat_8]

I decided to write this early because the last few days have been very interesting to me. A few friends of mine both locally and internet-ly are having some problems with their women and cannot figure out how my wife and I live in perfect harmony. For example last tuesday night I went out around 6 pm, came home around 3 or so. My friends could not believe that my wife was not at all upset. Sometimes I'm gone for a whole weekend. My friend's issues with his wife today set this off and it was completely avoidable...had he just been smarter about her.

Look gentlemen...I'm going to explain this for some of you who may be struggling with the female, I've already gotten my one friend straightened out. Hell his wife thinks I'm a sweetheart He called me today and said "you mother ******...you mother ******. I told my wife that you said I should just be a little more considerate and compassionate towards her and now she thinks you're the sweetest guy in the world." How true, how true.

First things first, you as a man need to understand and accept that this is a woman's world. Now you can fight that if you want but you are going to lose or turn gay. Just think about it this way, take a nice looking woman and a nice looking guy, send them both into a bar, a grocery store, church, city park...where ever, looking for a one night stand. The woman will hear "yes" more times than Ron Jeremy and the man might as well be asking in a convent, he's only going to hear "NO" from every female.(it was done as a study on the sexes. Out of 100, 86 guys told the woman "yes", 13 appologized because their wife or girlfriend was in town...not that they were taken, but becaue they were in town and one guy, told the girl "No". 100 women told the guy "No". Women control half the money and all the pussy, it is their world...get use to it.

Once you accept that it is a woman's world, that's half the battle. Now once you find a female and for some unknown reason she gets you to think that marriage or moving in together is a good idea, you are going to enter into a partnership in every sense of the word. Now before I get too far into this let me give you a "Golden Rule":

Happy women, make happy men. Unhappy women make no pussy getting, mean, irritable, frustrated unhappy men.

As long as you keep her happy, you'll be happy. If you **** up and piss her off, you will not be having a good day and you aren't getting any either.

The next thing you need to understand is that all females are prostitutes...and yes they are...just not in the traditional sense of the word. With a woman, you only get what you give. How she reacts to you is a direct reflection of what you have done for or given to her. The question is how do we pay our women? Money?..No I wish it were that easy.

We pay our women with acts or gestures that I call "Marks". You make so many "Marks" with your female and then you cash them in for things you want. For example, I wanted to go out last tuesday. I knew this ahead of time so I had to accumulate some marks so I could go without her being upset, feeling slighted or bitching about it for 2 weeks. So for the past 2 weeks or so I have made supper about 8-9 times, I've washed the clothes (I don't put them away, because I can grab them right out of the clothes basket and it doesn't bother me). I spent some time with her in the evening, took a couple of walks, listened to her talk about work/her friends..whatever. I was extra flirty with her (I'm always sex oriented but I was a little softer about it). I curbed my language and didn't speak so direct and rude. (women don't like that unless you are backing them up).

You see by cooking supper and washing some clothes I did some things for her that she appreciated. I spent some time with her and she appreciated it. I complimented her by flirting with her (making her feel desired...that's a big one, especially as she gets older...write that down) it's big because the quickest way into an older woman's bedroom is a flirty compliment...that's a fact 35 and up Anyway, I listened to her...what she was talking about...I don't know, but she wanted to talk about it so I listened and I listened good enough that I could conversate about it (at that time).

So on tuesday, I call her at work and say "hey, Jay and a few guys are going to BW3's tonight, do we have anything going on tonight."

You see the wording is very important. I didn't ask her if I could go, I asked her if we had anything going on. I let her have some say in the decision without her actually having any direct impact on the decision. She feels involved, she appreciates that I called and "asked" or included her in the decision. (that's another Mark )

had I said "Jay and ..........., do you care if I go?" That is a yes or no answer that directly answers whether I can go or not. But more importantly, in her mind subconciously, it places her in a position of authority over you. You are asking her permission. It also ingrains that principle into your mind and eventually you will look at things you want to do like you did when you were 15 and asking your mother.

Had I said "Hey, I'm going to B-dubs with Jay and some guys tonight." That goes the other direction, that statement completely eliminates her from the decision making process and over time will give her a feeling of insignifigance. Like I'm going to do what I want without asking her.

You see the last 2 statements carry some pretty heavy consiquences. When I asked for her permission in #2, eventually I will be asking her permission for everything, she will be handing me out an allowance, etc. In the 3rd statement, resentment will build and she will eventually dump or cheat on you. Because odds are, if you are rude enough to just tell her what you are doing, without being considerate enough to include her, you don't make any marks for yourself and she does not feel important or special to you and then one day she meets "nice" guy Northcat in the supermarket, he flirts with her a little, she feels special and next thing you know she no longer has PMS and has a cat aten grin on her face

Now for some that may be the whole story...but those are Newbies on the right path but lack the vision of a veteran. We are not done talking to the female after she responds to "hey, Jay and a few guys are going to BW3's tonight, do we have anything going on tonight." after she responds "No, I don't think we have anything going on." I reply with, "well, since we don't have anything going on I might head down there with them." Her reply "alright, what time are you going to be home?"

Now I must interupt right here. The question "what time are you going to be home?" is a trap that catch most men. It catches them because they answer with an exact time. If you give an exact time and then lose track of time and get home late, she's going to be pissed off. So you must give an ambiguous answer (not exact). I replied jokingly "I should be home before thursday." and I got a "uh huh". I said "I don't know, we are going to B-dubs, you know how we get when sports, beer and food are present." She said "OK, becareful, have a good time." I also must interject another possibility here. If your girl presses you for a time, give her one but always make it later than you think...always over estimate...coming home early is always better than coming home late.

Now I'm out with my friends, it's about 10:00 pm, I call home with a question. What the question is doesn't matter, you are calling to make her feel important, not to check in. Also do not call every time, just every once in a while. Calling does one other thing. It prevents her from asking "what did you guys do last night?" That is a very dangerous question, because your answer has to match exactly to what your friends or their girlfriends might say. Any detail you leave out that she may find questionable, and she finds out about it, creates mistrust...and you must avoid that at all costs, or your dumbass is back at square #1. Which brings up another point. If you have true friends, you all have an unspoken understanding of what happens when you guys are out, stays out, it is never spoken of at home. For example, last tuesday we left B-dubs around 10:15 pm (notice the timing of my call home ) and went to a bar...$3.00 pitchers and so many hot women that I just can't get over it, it was unbelievable. And I'm not easily impressed. But all the wives and girlfriends got the same story...watched baseball and drank some beer, played some darts, shot some pool and just bullshitted. Which is true, but the pool playing took place at the hot chicks bar.

I came home around 3:00 am, I don't really know but the bar closed at 2:30 and it was an hour drive home....Wednesday, was a perfect day. She was not upset, she didn't ask about the evening or anything.

Now last week I made supper, I washed clothes, I took a couple of walks with her, I listened to her. I made several marks for myself, I must admit I made too many marks for just a simple night out but you never know, I might have wanted to go out again on friday. Depending on your friends, you never know when a night out will come up. But that's OK, I'm going out again this tuesday night.

I also need to make a distinction. If you normally cook supper, then cooking supper does not count as a mark. Also when you make marks for yourself you have to be careful to not go overboard. For example, if your wife usually cooks, you can't go making a 7 course meal that puts her cooking skills to shame. If she usually cleans the house, you can't clean it better than she does. This will create a "he doesn't need me" thought in her mind and you don't want that.

The other thing that will assist you in a happy existence with a female, is if you are going out and you know you are going out, make sure you give her some the night before. Women think a well fucked man is a non-pussy hounding man

For example in Beavereater's situation, had he spent sometime sympathizing with her, asking her if she wanted him to make her some chicken soup, just focusing on her, his stress would be much easier. But by going to his computer instead, he ignored her, that is why when she complained, she complained about her computer rather than her tummy ache. He had already ignored the tummy ache, so she picked something else, when all she really wanted was a little attention.

My best friend had exactly the same situation thursday. His wife was just a bitchin. She called my house to bitch at him Apparently she's arguing with some other woman at work and my friend wouldn't listen to her. So I listened to her (sucks to go out alone, you know), now she thinks I'm a sweetheart too

One of the guys I coach with was complaining the other day about his wife bitching at him. I asked him "what is she bitching about?" he said "because she came home and I was playing Playstation." (he's young). I said "do this. Tonight, cook supper. It doesn't have to be great. Microwavable if you want." But cook supper, have it on the table when she gets home but also be playing playstation when she gets home. and see what she says." He came back the next day and said "that's amazing, she wasn't at all mad, she was happy and I got some.".....I think she should have given me some too since it was my idea but...well, you know.

I'm making a lot of marks for myself right now because we are entering football season and once the season hits full strength, I will not be home very much and I will be very busy when I am home, I will be going out to "coach's meetings" a couple of times a week, ending with a 4-5 day binge starting Thanksgiving Day and 200 miles from home

Now here's a little technique for making a golden mark....remember this one. Follow the above process and go out sometime, but come home around 8:30 pm. Even if you just go out by yourself and just go to Best Buy or something. She will want to know why you are home so early and you tell her "Ah, I don't know, I just felt like coming home and seeing ("spending time with" is good too) with you". AND BANG THAT IS A HUGE BIG GOLD MARK FOR YOU. Those can be exchanged for those 5-6 am night outs.


So anyway, for those of you having problems with your women give it a try, I'm telling you it's worth it's weight in gold. If it doesn't work and she's still bitchy, then you need to get rid of her, she's far too selfish and while she's special and you may love her and all that, remember there are over 3 billion women on this planet...she can be replaced.

Men are selfish by nature, you must realize this...so let me leave you with this thought:

Giving to her is actually giving to yourself. Happy women = happy men, it's a fact.

[IAIHMB]

So what kind of "mark" does writing a novel on making your women happy give you? :P

[Ripper2860]

Damn Northcat! I am speechless.
You ROCK !!!!

[gitreel]

Can you say long-winded?

What I did read of it was good though.

I lost interest after the second paragraph.

[DVD_Ripper]

Another tome from northcat... outstanding

[flaninacupboard]

I will remember to apply this advice if i ever get some!

[makntraks]

Please read and make your own call. Also remember that I know nothing about Northcat except from his postings on this board and might be taking liberties here..

Well written up to a point, but all I got out of it was that you pump her up just so you can get something, and you "pump" her up so you don't have deal with the hassle she MIGHT normally give you...
I also quoted

But all the wives and girlfriends got the same story...watched baseball and drank some beer, played some darts, shot some pool and just bullshitted. Which is true, but the pool playing took place at the hot chicks bar.

part of your dissertation, as since you are such a nice guy I'm surprised you LEFT out telling her the part about the "hot chicks bar" so I guess you didn't really LIE to her, but were not TOTALLY truthful about time spent out... Wonder how she would have felt seeing you in the "hot chicks bar"....

Just my $0.02....
makntraks

p.s. My life, my house, my rules... no shit....
p.s.s Please I did not intend to offend and I figure the flaming will start post haste...

[stiltman]

Cliffs notes??

I didn't get past the beginning fot the second paragraph "Look gentlemen"

[Capmaster]

Amazing Northcat. Just amazing

[northcat_8]

@stiltman - yea, I knew that was too long for you and I almosted added one last line that read "cliff notes available upon request (stiltman)"

@makntracks - you caught it point on. Point being, if you don't want her to complain, you have to give some things to her. If you don't care about her bitching a blue streak then hey, be direct, that's what I do when I don't care if she gets mad. But through some years of learning...I've learned that if I just give a little, I don't have to hear it.

I suppose you could say that I didn't exactly lie, but did leave some parts out. That is an omission from the story and as long as everyone has the same omission you are set. Now I wasn't out doing things I shouldn't have been doing. I behaved myself. But had I told her about going to that place, I would have gotten the "why did you go there", "who was there?", etc, etc, etc. I know I wasn't totally truthful, but I never said I was. The point of the process is how to go out, do what you want without hearing your girl complain about it for 2 weeks.

I should have also mentioned that most of the time if you go some place like that and she does get upset about it, you can damn well bet that she will want to go out with her girlfriends. Now you should know that your girl out on the town with a bunch of her friends...well, lets just say she won't need to take any money. It's a double standard I know, so I'm a hypocrit...you should let that go, I'm a lot worse than that. Now my wife goes out with her friends, but going out with revenge or a "well he did it" attitude is not good for Northcat.

You also question "as since you are such a nice guy"...I never said I was ACTUALLY a nice guy This is the year 2004, the world is based on appearances not based in reality

I'm not offended makntraks, if you've got your girl together than great. But a few have been having "bitching" issues with their girlfriend or wives. I did too back in the day...but not anymore. And last night when my friend's wife called my house to bitch at him I had had enough. I mean hell most of the time all you have to do is listen to her and do a thing or two for her and you are good to go. No one believes me when I tell them me and my wife do not argue. There is never even an elevated voice toward one another in our house. She's never mad at me...that equals happy me.

I didn't realize how long it was until I posted it, but I was still looking for my mercy for capmaster....it wasn't in that 12 pack of beer either cap..sorry...maybe the next 12 pack .

[Doramius]

In the house the man controls DICK. Use it anyway you want, you still only control DICK! The woman controls everything else. In my house, I get the remote, choice of side of the bed, what's for dinner, nights to have sex, and when where & how long I want to be out. WHY? Because I let my wife know all of the details, do what I can to notify her if plans change (I carry a cell. Like it's hard to take 30 sec. to let her know.), have a wife that craves sex from ME, and I found a wife who is as little maintenance (or possibly less) than I am. For those of you who aren't married, remember this. This is how you maintain your ROYAL presence as HEAD of HOUSEHOLD. Also find a woman who's willing to give you a lapdance when you're on the computer. Believe me, you will be off of the computer about 10 sec. after she starts unzipping your pants, and you won't even care if you get blown away and then kicked due to the fact you just left your character and forgot to shut the program down. Has happened to me a bunch of times.

[northcat_8]

That's true Doramius...but I would be willing to bet that she can find another dick a lot quicker than you could find another pu$$y.

Care to swing by the Northcat ranch and test this theory?? :P

[Doramius]

That's true Doramius...but I would be willing to bet that she can find another dick a lot quicker than you could find another pu$$y.

Care to swing by the Northcat ranch and test this theory?? :P

I'm not doubting the ability to find it. I just know she won't go for it. She knows for a fact I won't go for another pu$$y, too(with one condition). She has a bunch of family that are Sheriffs in Cali. and another brother who's an MP in the Navy. We've both taken a polygraph, just for the fun of it. I even told the turth to her about how often I masturbate and she didn't believe me. She thought it was less. I hit it on the nose about how often she masturbates. I also found out that she wanted to shag me the first time she met me. She was a little upset to know that very little of the time, when I was going out with my ex-girl just before her, I thought about having sex with her. I also told the truth when I said I didn't expect to have sex with her the first night we actually dated. I did lie about one thing. Turns out I do have a serious fetish and might cheat on her if a hot hollywood actress was naked, in my bed, and PREGNANT. Yes, I have a pregnant fetish. But I doubt any of you would reject Carmen Electra if she were spread eagle on your bed and had the preggo bump.

[stiltman]

Turns out I do have a serious fetish and might cheat on her if a hot hollywood actress was naked, in my bed, and PREGNANT. Yes, I have a pregnant fetish. But I doubt any of you would reject Carmen Electra if she were spread eagle on your bed and had the preggo bump.

Well it didn't take that long for this topic to go totally south

[northcat_8]

"She was a little upset to know that very little of the time, when I was going out with my ex-girl just before her, I thought about having sex with her."

but you did think about...so I was right in that one thread a month or so ago....I knew it.

"I do have a serious fetish and might cheat on her if a hot hollywood actress was naked, in my bed, and PREGNANT. Yes, I have a pregnant fetish. But I doubt any of you would reject Carmen Electra if she were spread eagle on your bed and had the preggo bump."

reject carmen electra I think you over estimate my standards...Carmen Electra, Jenny McCarthy, the lady down the road, hell, my standards are a lot lower than Carmen Elec-*******-tra

[makntraks]

snip, snip...
I'm not offended makntraks, if you've got your girl together than great. But a few have been having "bitching" issues with their girlfriend or wives.

Well couldn't wait to get home to follow up, and was happy that read that what I tried to convey was something you took as positve commentary. I am divorced (several years), have 3 beautiful daughters and the girl I'm seeing is "periodically" one of those bitchers.... What does make things even out in some respects is that she is 23 and I am 45 8) (I'm hoping you and all the rest know where I went with THAT comment...)
As for her bitching it really gets her goat when I put my hands over my ears and say "blah, blah, blah..... ad infinitum"

Anyway we all experience things differently and I for one appreciate your dissertation..... and maybe, just maybe, file a few of your "pointers" away for when I REALLY want something...... like a dual proc mb and some sweet AMDs to go with it!

Peace,
makntraks

[northcat_8]

snip, snip...
I'm not offended makntraks, if you've got your girl together than great. But a few have been having "bitching" issues with their girlfriend or wives.

Well couldn't wait to get home to follow up, and was happy that read that what I tried to convey was something you took as positve commentary. I am divorced (several years), have 3 beautiful daughters and the girl I'm seeing is "periodically" one of those bitchers.... What does make things even out in some respects is that she is 23 and I am 45 8) (I'm hoping you and all the rest know where I went with THAT comment...)
As for her bitching it really gets her goat when I put my hands over my ears and say "blah, blah, blah..... ad infinitum"

She is 23...and you are 45
<northcat takes out pen and paper>
care to share how in the F*** that happened

To be perfectly honest my wife doesn't care what I do, or where I go. I did tell her that we stopped by "W-O Wright's" but for the point of the learning not all women are OK with their men going some place like that. My wife was not always cool with it, but now I think she just wants me out of the house so she can get to sleep at a normal time

I also agree with your "Blah, blah, blah" technique. You have to stay within your own personality. I have a very playful, humorous personality and my wife and I laugh a lot. But she understands the one outstanding principle of the Northcat Personal Philosophy.....

[makntraks]

Northcat,
Great continuation but I am in "blah, blah, blah" mode right now...
I'll clue you (and other topic followers) as to the 45/23 thing as soon as I have hands free to type... and a little H2O to water me down

Peace,
makntraks

[beavereater]

That was great Gonna try to apply those rules!! Swweeettt!!

[thayne]

Pigshit! it's not that complicated.

All you have to do is go up to a chick, anychick anywhere. Start some small talk until you see her smile. Then look her right in the eye and say, "I wanna lick your clit till you scream for mercy" Keep lookin' her in the eye, if you look away it's game over. Shut your mouth and wait for her reaction.

3 out of 4 chicks will shag you silly.....

/Remember, don't look away and shut up until you get her response....

[Grimey]

I think we need some research to be done to see who's method works better, northcat's or thaynes.

[makntraks]

Pigshit! it's not that complicated.

All you have to do is go up to a chick, anychick anywhere. Start some small talk until you see her smile. Then look her right in the eye and say, "I wanna lick your clit till you scream for mercy" Keep lookin' her in the eye, if you look away it's game over. Shut your mouth and wait for her reaction.

3 out of 4 chicks will shag you silly.....

/Remember, don't look away and shut up until you get her response....

Or you feel the cold steel of handcuffs..

makntraks

[flaninacupboard]

Or you feel the cold steel of handcuffs..

makntraks

Cool 8)

I've watched a few movies recently that all try to convey the same basic message, women, all women, are sluts. get them alone, show them a ****, and they're yours. Thoughts?

[Doramius]

Or you feel the cold steel of handcuffs..

makntraks

Cool 8)

I've watched a few movies recently that all try to convey the same basic message, women, all women, are sluts. get them alone, show them a ****, and they're yours. Thoughts?

New avatar Flan? If a girl was on a deserted island with Quasimoto, they'd screw him at some point. THey have needs, too. You just gotta let them realize they need sex as well. As time passes, women will start getting more agressive in sex and then they'll need it just as moch (if not more) than a man. With all the drugs they got to boost a woman's desire, at some point it will become part of their natural chemistry. There's that school teacher that got pregnant twice off her student.

[flaninacupboard]

yeah, faniced a change. probably go back to my scary dude after this.

[northcat_8]

Pigshit! it's not that complicated.

All you have to do is go up to a chick, anychick anywhere. Start some small talk until you see her smile. Then look her right in the eye and say, "I wanna lick your clit till you scream for mercy" Keep lookin' her in the eye, if you look away it's game over. Shut your mouth and wait for her reaction.

3 out of 4 chicks will shag you silly.....

/Remember, don't look away and shut up until you get her response....

Actually this is true. But once again, my discussion was not about getting laid. It is about being able to LIVE peacefully with a female and still be able to do what you want.

Taking a girl to the parking lot or home...well that's a lot different...and once you get them to smile and you see the twinkle in her eye...it's over...it's just a matter of time.

Getting a chick to bang is a lot easier than keeping them from bitching once you decided to move in with her

Now I say that but you also must remember to evaluate the environment. If you are picking up a **** buddy at a bar or a beach...that's fairly easy. If you are trying to pick up a **** buddy at church, family reunion, or at her wedding...that requires a little more skill than Thayne's method.