Forks in the Road

[Ripper2860]

In everyone's life there are defining moments. Forks in the road where one must make a decision and choose a path for which there is no turning back. A decision that we can trace back as life changing even though at the time it may have seemed trivial.

What are some of your "forks in the road" and how did it turn out for you? What decision you once made do you count as your biggest regret and which one do you count as your greatest triumph?

I'll post up mine later as this definitely will require some deep thought on my part.

[jeex]

i can answer this one for baldrick;

"creating this website"

[northcat_8]

Forks in the road eh?

Positive fork:

I had a family to support but hated my job, so I decided to got to school and get a teaching degree. It wasn't easy, as I still had to work full time throughout college. Full details are in the OT forum over at the politics forum under the "who are you" thread. That decision probably not only changed but saved my life. I was not on a very good path, I was a pretty violent, went looking for trouble type of person who always seemed to find the right combination of alcohol, balls and brains to get me in trouble.

Regretful fork:

This probably isn't the best to say outloud, but my wife was not the best decision that I have ever made. Don't get me wrong, I love my wife and I could have done much worse. But she has changed so much since we got married that she is not even close to the woman that I selected. She is very introverted and very unsocial. She has a superiority complex and has developed a "that is below me" type of attitude when dealing with certain people or issues, and has become quite a fake person in many ways. Which I can't figure out how that happened because I am a teacher...it's not like we have trouble figuring out which Hummer to drive today ...we both started with nothing and still have most of it left. When we first got married, I had a job that paid $4.50 an hour and we were as happy as could be. Now she gets pissed off if she doesn't have $65 to get her hair done this week. It's my own fault, I had the to opportunity to walk away from her back in high school, I cheated on her, she broke up with me and I didn't even break stride but then she slowly crept her way back in, we went out a few times and bang...here we are 16 years later. I should have married a down to earth country girl...I knew it back then.

Incidently I blame my current situation soley on my best friend. I've known him literally my whole life. Our birthdays are 4 days apart, my mother was his baby sitter...so honest to god, he's like my brother. As we grew up, I would ask him what he thought about my girlfriend and if he didn't like her or she didn't like him, I stopped dating her. I had a girlfriend over once, he came over, she was kind of bitchy to him and with her standing right there he said "what are you doing with her? She's a bitch." I looked at her and said "better call your Dad to come and get you Tina...me and Gary are leaving." That's a true story. I asked him if he liked this one and he said "yea, she's good."
I did the same for him, but he didn't listen to me. He brought his first fiance over and I had to tell him straight out "dude, what the **** are you thinking? She looks good and she has a nice ass, but she's got the personality of a rattle snake. Dump her ass." He didn't, 2 kids and a divorce later, he is ready to marry another girl. Again he brings her over after about 20 minutes I say "Gary, this bitch is nuts. Certifiably...she shared that she had spent time in an institution Don't marry this one." He did. One kid and a divorce later he is paying child support on 3 kids. About 4 months ago he brings this 3rd girl over and I looked at him and he said "don't worry, we aren't getting married." and I looked at him and said "just **** her then and don't confuse lust with love this time." he laughed...she doesn't like me

Probably not the serious post you were looking for Ripper but **** it, you asked and if I am anything, I am honest.

[Cobra]

Damn, northcat. You are honest. I don't have anything to compare to that.

I'm probably too young to have made any life-changing decisions. There's only one that really springs to mind.

When I was 15, I hadn't really been drinking before and I went to a friend's house to a party, and got blitzed. I mean totally wasted. I fell asleep on the conservatory floor, to be woken up at 2AM by a girl puking into a bucket she was holding above me. I was worried she'd puked on me, so I went and asked a friend, Chris (who doesn't drink). I gave him a twirl. Big mistake. Next thing I know, he's telling me I'm going to be sick, takes me outside and hands me a big red bucket.

I said, "No, I'm feeling just... YYURRGGHH!!". I felt a lot better after that, went home (about 20 meters down the road) and went to bed. 7:30AM, I was back up and getting my arse down to Sainsbury's to get stain remover (I spilled Guinness on the carpet) and breakfast stuff for the lads.

Ever since then, I've respected alcohol. I will drink plenty, but I know my limits and I have never once been ill through alcohol since that night.

Right, that's probably one of the most embarrasing things I've ever done with myself. I'll probably edit this post away in a day or so.

Cobra (sober tonight)

[The village idiot]

I hate forks in the road . Ran over one last week and got a flat tire .

[Ripper2860]

Northcat,

Honesty is what I was hoping for, as I truly believe that everyone has decisions they regret and things they would have done differently if they had a "do over". The reverse is also true, in that people have made what they thought was an insignificant decision and it turned out to be the absolute best decision they could ever had made and set into motion events that would change their lives in a positive and profound way.

REGRET: I would have to say that I have 2 equally regretful decisions -- not finishing college and my 1st marriage.

My lack of a college degree has hampered my career more than once. Not necessarily because I lack experience or knowledge, but because as one person put it -- finishing college would show that I could follow through with a committment and prove that I can persevere with a difficult and long term task. That has stuck with me for the last 15 years and haunts me whenever I am passed over.

I married my high school sweetheart when I was 19. We dated throughout Middle School and High School. I married her because we had been together so long that it just seemed like the next logical step. There were lots of warnings, but I failed to heed them as I loved her. We grew apart over the course of 17 years of marraige with my enduring never-ending suspicion and countless accusations of infidelity. The defining moment was when I was accused of having an affair with a young lady that worked for me, by a rival manager. It was reported to my superiors that I was having a relationship with this person and that my ability to objectively manage my department and this person was severely impaired. I did not have an affair and was not smitten by this person (quite attractive, but not anywhere near my type) and I had to fight a battle on both fronts -- 1 at work and 1 at home, as my wife did not beleive me. This was the most difficult time I ever had to endure and after years of being her "crutch", I needed some assurance and support from her, but got none. It was then that I realized that despite being married for 17 years, I was alone and this marriage was over. 17 years of refusing to quit and continue to tell myself I was just not trying hard enough, culminated in my leaving her and seeking a divorce. If I was going to be alone, I might as well do it alone.

Positive: The strange thing is the decision to marry my 1st wife, led me to meet my current wife. My then wife was in a deep depression and we moved to Texas from North Carolina, so she could be close to her parents which had moved to Texas. I thought that leaving my family behind and getting her closer to hers would help as she had become increasingly insecure and unhappy. If it were not for the move to Texas, I would not have met my current wife. She is the most amazing person I have ever met and count my marriage to her as the absolute best thing that ever happened to me -- along with my children.

Kind of strange how if it wasn't for experiencing one of the worst things in my life, I would not have experienced one of the the best things in my life.

Sometimes the wrong decision is the right decision, only we just don't know it yet.

[Ripper2860]

Seems fitting ...

My favorite Poem by Robert Frost

THE ROAD NOT TAKEN

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

[pacmania_2001]

Negative fork:

Not asking out a girl I knew. Still regret not doing it to this day, had multiple opportunities but never had the balls.

Positive fork:

Whilst not something I could choose to do, I think having cancer and going through all the experiences I did made me a better person than if I had not of been diagnosed and grew up normally.

[flaninacupboard]

Positive fork:

Whilst not something I could choose to do, I think having cancer and going through all the experiences I did made me a better person than if I had not of been diagnosed and grew up normally.

That sucks, dude. excuse my ignorance, but i had the impression you're fairly young (maybe mid twenties?) so it sucks double big time.

As for me, four things irritate the shit out of me.

Number one, for no paticular reason i made a massive effort to befriend someone in secondary school. i don't know why, i had plenty of friends anyway. for some reason i dragged him into our social group, an effort which has come to haunt me.

Number two, the first girl i ever got involved with (i managed to have my first kiss and first shag in the same evening) basically tore out my heaty and ripped it to pieces. i'd known her for 7 months before that night, and i was totally infatuated. we were happy together for about two months, and i told her as i was going home one day "I love you". She laughed, literally laughed in my face.

Number three, the second girl i got involved with. we were together for six months and one day i get a call - she's moving to london to live with someone else. nice.

Number four, the third girl i got invovled with. we were together (i thought) quite happily for two and a half years. my parents had chucked me out, so i had been living with her and her family for two years. then she decides that i'm a piece of crap and my friend from point number one is a better prospect. she swung back and forth for a time, and this year in february things were looking ok. i did nothing wrong, nothing to upset her - nothing changed, except her mind. so i'm still living there, unable to afford anywhere to live on my own, no friends to share with and not speaking to my parents. don't be surprised if you hear "englsih man commits suicide by penetrating PC power supply while connected to videohelp.com" on the news.

Interestingly, point number four brought me to this website and hobby back in '01. silver and clouds and all that.

[pacmania_2001]

Positive fork:

Whilst not something I could choose to do, I think having cancer and going through all the experiences I did made me a better person than if I had not of been diagnosed and grew up normally.

That sucks, dude. excuse my ignorance, but i had the impression you're fairly young (maybe mid twenties?) so it sucks double big time.

I'm 18, well 19 in fourteen days time. Had it when I was 10 till about 13. As much as the medical side of it sucked I got to meet some awesome people through it and go to places that most people will never experience.

The key I think was having a good family and friends as well as excellent hospital staff. Also charities like Camp Quality and Make a Wish were awesome.

I feel for you about your love stories, had a few similar things happen to me (not to that extent) but it sucks when it happens.

[northcat_8]

Number four, the third girl i got invovled with. we were together (i thought) quite happily for two and a half years. my parents had chucked me out, so i had been living with her and her family for two years. then she decides that i'm a piece of crap and my friend from point number one is a better prospect. she swung back and forth for a time, and this year in february things were looking ok. i did nothing wrong, nothing to upset her - nothing changed, except her mind. so i'm still living there, unable to afford anywhere to live on my own, no friends to share with and not speaking to my parents. don't be surprised if you hear "englsih man commits suicide by penetrating PC power supply while connected to videohelp.com" on the news.

Damn Flan...that sucks. 2 things.

#1 - Not that it is any of my business, but speak to your parents. I know you've probably heard it before but they are the only parents you are going to have and one day they will be gone.

#2 - you seem to have had a run of fickle women. Guess what, they are all like that...damn women ...but alas my young flan, you now have the power to control the female mind. Next chick that hits the doorstep, apply your red wing training and she will be like putty in your hands and you can shape her into any pornographic form you want.

[housepig]

well, let's see...

I had a chance to join a band that I really dug, and I passed on it because they wanted to go on tour, and I had a good job and had just signed a mortgage. So they leave on tour, and I find out the day after they leave that my job would have given me a leave of absence to go.

So I was all set to ask them if I could get another shot, when I hear that they've signed to Atlantic records. So I bite it back, not wanting to seem like "oh, I'll join up now... you're signed".

They've been together 14 years now, they just put out their 6th or 7th album. Never a huge success, but they get videos out and a goodly sized fan base. A couple of years back, I was talking to the drummer, and explained why I had never come back to join up after that first tour. He turns to me and says "you should have. we really wanted you in the band, we totally would have taken you in".

balls!

but on the flip side - had I done that, I would have never met my wife, who has given me so much joy over the last 9 years. so I can't cry about it too much.