Humor: Message from the future! Who wins the DVD format war?

[Faustus]

Tried of arguing about which format is better, please live with my crude attempt at humor.
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The following report was dug up using the little known Google yet unpublished web page search.

Dec. 19 2010

The dust has setting and the verdict is in, at last the DVD format wars are over. What a strange and unpredictable ride its been!

When the first 2 dvd formats were introduced it was immediately evident there was a problem, but what little did we know. DVD-R lead by the DVDForum attempted to take the lead by offering rebates on their most popular drives and driving the price of media down, thinking that if it was cheap enough they would be the obvious winner. In the other camp DVD+RW attempted to take the market with the ill thought strategy of Repeatedly declaring themselves the winners every other Tuesday, attempting to change the publics perspective of the war. Sadly both formats were doomed.

Fast forward to 2004 when the first of the 5 Blue-ray based formats arrive. Respectively known as DVD-Blue, DVDbrRW, DVD~RW, DVD-DIVX2Blue-RW, and the "hacker format" known as DVDleetRW which was created by mixing the innards of both a DVD-Blue drive from Fujitsu and a Pioneer DVD-A03. All of the Blue-ray formats worked great with even the first generation DVD Blue ray players, and indeed the price of the media and players was about the same, however the war continued.

*As an interesting side note the DVDleetRW burners burned not standard ink based media but instead burned only to buttered toast. While offering little in the way of lasting data back up coasters were known to be quite tasty with some jam.

As everyone should well remember total world market confusion ensued, leading to universal war and famine. Thankfully after 6 months the DVwar ended when Sony surrendered to the combined forced of all the other format leaders shortly after announcing their Sextuple format burner would be to market in a matter of months.

Who was the Winner? None of them. As the dust settings yet another format DVD../*RW came onto the scene causing the worlds media manufacturers to go into such confusion that 99% of them closed up shop and called the who thing a bust, leaving only the creator of the format making their own disk as the winner. Sadly the format played on only 2 brands of players and held a total of 5mb of data.

*As a final interesting side note the only known large supply of DVD-R media (the format which started it all) is showed to be owned by one Flaystus McCool who purchased over 1000 spindles of Ritek G03 disk shortly before the troubles began. They are said to be stored in his secret underground bunker known only as The Pr0n Cave.

[WeedVender]

OMFG...

[MOVIEGEEK]

This would make a great movie!
Sylvester Stalone as the defender of DVDFORUM who was frozen in the year 2003 for being a bad actor....
and Wesley Snipes as the renegade leader and evil henchman for Bill Gates of DVD+RW ALLIANCE who is thawed out to wreak havoc on weak minded consumers.