Please Review my Video Competition Submission

[ryanstarrett]

Hey there,

Have made an entry into a video competition and would like thoughts on what I could do better? We were not able to take a slider or anything, which I think is my immediate area for improved shots? Post your thoughts please, this is my first competition! If you like it, please do so on Vimeo, if you really like it please share also??

Would love technical advice also, use of lens, positioning/angles, editing, music etc.

http://vimeo.com/169758731 (Now private, see new submission below)

NEW AND UPDATED VIDEO FOR REVEIW

https://vimeo.com/173582783

bit.ly/themtblife

[Case]

What I could do better? Post your thoughts please. Would love technical advice also, use of lens, positioning/angles, editing, music etc.

Title of film: My MTB Life - As a viewer, I'm not getting exactly what your MTB life is like, from this clip. Perhaps there is a lot in your MTB life that this clip is not showing? So perhaps you can think of a better fitting title to represent this clip?
Film maker: What is your background? Is film making your thing? At what level? Is MTB-ing your thing? At what level? One should critique a cinematographer differently from a biking hobbyist.
Purpose of the film: Is this to show off your riding skills, your equipment, your area, to get a price or just recognition from the magazine, to get Vimeo hits? Tell anything, even if you make it up, but make it match the clip.
Content/narrative 1: You should say or write a few words about the clip, why you filmed what you filmed, and about the competition. Outside the clip, but accessible.
Content/narrative 2: Show why it is awesome/do something exceptionally cool/show what looks dangerous but isn't/show where you take extra caution (either action or path)/show what other riders might learn from you.
Cinematic techniques 1: I'm missing a story. Even leaving at down and returning home at dusk would be some kind of minimal story.
Cinematic techniques 2: The camera close to the ground / frog perspective is kinda unnatural for an observer, so don't overuse it.
Cinematic techniques 3: Lots of the woods shots look similar to a first time viewer. I'm getting the feeling of seeing the rider going the same corner several times (even if that isn't true). Make sure the shots (surroundings) are different enough.
Cinematic techniques 4: If your camera supports it, this kind of clip would be good for a short high frame rate segment, so you get the slow motion effect, e.g. on dirt splashing away, or something else less cliche.
Space: The camera is always observing from a distance. We don't get to see the person's face. We don't get to see physical expression of joy from doing what he does (e.g. a 0.5 second smile could fix that). We don't get to see what he sees (POV). We don't get to see where he is (geography).
Time/pace/tempo: Once it gets going, it won't slow down. Try a build up, a peak performance/specialty thingy and an end (actually stopping the bike at the end of the clip).
Light: Excellent lighting. Both the garage and the woods.
Effects: The use of going in and out of focus/change of focal point is perhaps overused in this 2 minute clip. Use it as a reveal, and it starts making more sense in the few instances where it is relevant.
Color: The woods can make for dull colors in film making. You could try more (vibrant) color accents on your bike and clothing. The light green jacket is good, but perhaps not enough. Are there colors that fit you specifically? Anything to make it personal.
Sound: Subtile use of (what sounds like) original sound rising above the music. Well done. I believe I detected a few other sound effects, they were good, too.
Music: Kygo, upbeat and teasing, that's good, although quite different from the music often associated with adrenaline sports.

[Selur]

also the view of the rider 'whooshing' through the trees might be nice,... (like https://vimeo.com/90760828 0:12 - 0:19)

[ryanstarrett]

I guess I was originally trying to suggest the idea that I'm the type to get up early, tinker with my bike and ride regardless of weather. That being said there is definite lack of 'story line' or something to communicate my MTB life more effectively. I originally wanted it to end in a way that it felt like the journey didn't stop there, that it was just the beginning of my day, though it could have been better to have closure...

Background is mainly riding, very limited experience with proper cameras and reasonable experience with basic editing.

In regards to shot types, it would have been helpful to have another more cropped lens or a POV to diversify the shots.

In regards to the camera (GH4), we were shooting at 4K at 25fps, though a friend told me that it can shoot at 96fps, though I couldn't find that capability. It would definitely be good to get some quality slow motions.

Thanks for your thoughts, very helpful!

What I could do better? Post your thoughts please. Would love technical advice also, use of lens, positioning/angles, editing, music etc.

Title of film: My MTB Life - As a viewer, I'm not getting exactly what your MTB life is like, from this clip. Perhaps there is a lot in your MTB life that this clip is not showing? So perhaps you can think of a better fitting title to represent this clip?
Film maker: What is your background? Is film making your thing? At what level? Is MTB-ing your thing? At what level? One should critique a cinematographer differently from a biking hobbyist.
Purpose of the film: Is this to show off your riding skills, your equipment, your area, to get a price or just recognition from the magazine, to get Vimeo hits? Tell anything, even if you make it up, but make it match the clip.
Content/narrative 1: You should say or write a few words about the clip, why you filmed what you filmed, and about the competition. Outside the clip, but accessible.
Content/narrative 2: Show why it is awesome/do something exceptionally cool/show what looks dangerous but isn't/show where you take extra caution (either action or path)/show what other riders might learn from you.
Cinematic techniques 1: I'm missing a story. Even leaving at down and returning home at dusk would be some kind of minimal story.
Cinematic techniques 2: The camera close to the ground / frog perspective is kinda unnatural for an observer, so don't overuse it.
Cinematic techniques 3: Lots of the woods shots look similar to a first time viewer. I'm getting the feeling of seeing the rider going the same corner several times (even if that isn't true). Make sure the shots (surroundings) are different enough.
Cinematic techniques 4: If your camera supports it, this kind of clip would be good for a short high frame rate segment, so you get the slow motion effect, e.g. on dirt splashing away, or something else less cliche.
Space: The camera is always observing from a distance. We don't get to see the person's face. We don't get to see physical expression of joy from doing what he does (e.g. a 0.5 second smile could fix that). We don't get to see what he sees (POV). We don't get to see where he is (geography).
Time/pace/tempo: Once it gets going, it won't slow down. Try a build up, a peak performance/specialty thingy and an end (actually stopping the bike at the end of the clip).
Light: Excellent lighting. Both the garage and the woods.
Effects: The use of going in and out of focus/change of focal point is perhaps overused in this 2 minute clip. Use it as a reveal, and it starts making more sense in the few instances where it is relevant.
Color: The woods can make for dull colors in film making. You could try more (vibrant) color accents on your bike and clothing. The light green jacket is good, but perhaps not enough. Are there colors that fit you specifically? Anything to make it personal.
Sound: Subtile use of (what sounds like) original sound rising above the music. Well done. I believe I detected a few other sound effects, they were good, too.
Music: Kygo, upbeat and teasing, that's good, although quite different from the music often associated with adrenaline sports.

[smrpix]

I originally wanted it to end in a way that it felt like the journey didn't stop there, that it was just the beginning of my day

That's a completely legitimate story. But none of us got that. You have to be kind of brutal with yourself in asking how could you demonstrate that better. What would your final shot be?

Pay less attention to the camera for the moment and more to what you're trying to say. The camera techniques to support the narrative will occur to you once you know where you're going.

[ryanstarrett]

I originally wanted it to end in a way that it felt like the journey didn't stop there, that it was just the beginning of my day

That's a completely legitimate story. But none of us got that. You have to be kind of brutal with yourself in asking how could you demonstrate that better. What would your final shot be?

Pay less attention to the camera for the moment and more to what you're trying to say. The camera techniques to support the narrative will occur to you once you know where you're going.

Thoughts on updated video??

bit.ly/themtblife