33.3% of you cheat ! you dogs !

[BJ_M]

Posted by lizzi - Monday, Feb 28 -

Big ups to everyone who participated in the truth or dare challenge truth polls. I really appreciate the 200 or so of you who took the time to contribute. Not only does it help us build this community… it also helps feed me ammo for future ranting. Ahem:

55.2% of the Tijner faces who participated have not, to their knowledge, been involved with someone who was cheating. 44.8% have. For those of you not good with percentages that means half. For those of you not good with fractions that means YER DUMB.

But that’s not the juicy half of it.

33.3% of Tijners have been unfaithful to their significant other at one time or another (I counted those of you who seem to think that oral sex does not count… contrary to my better judgment because if you actually think that, you are a worthless human being and should be sentenced to drown in a sea of pussy, and if you were just joking because you actually think it’s funny, you probably don’t even know what a pussy tastes like). And out of this third who HAVE cheated… 84% did it full knowing the severity of their actions without the help of alcoholic aphrodisiacs!!

No, no… I’m not mad, my darlings. Just disappointed. This just confirms a sad fact of our social times:

Cheating on your partner is no longer a taboo.
It’s ******* common.

I got to thinking about this subject when 2 out of the last 3 “intimate scenarios” I found myself in ended rather bitterly. These days, for some odd reason, I seem to be attracting men who are already spoken for.

…

My friend set me up with this guy... blind date stylee. Most of my close friends are in long-term relationships now, and being bored with their own love life, have turned their attentions to ******* up mine. So we go out, have a lovely dinner, and over a close and cuddly cup of coffee, get into a discussion about past relationships/what we are looking for.

Lizzi: “So. How long was your last relationship?”
Douche: “Married 3 years. I have a 2 year old and a 6 month old.”

Hrmn. That’s funny. My friend never mentioned this.

Lizzi: “Wow, I’m sorry to hear that… how long ago did you get divorced?”
Douche: “We aren’t divorced.”

The best part was afterwards, when I confronted my friend about setting me up with a married doode.

Friend: “So? He doesn’t love her anymore. And god, you saw how hot he was!!!”

…

A coworker I was hanging out with and crushing on ROYALLY (not the new, server, St. Patrick’s guy… a bartender) made a pass at me. I rejected him because he has a girlfriend. We talked about how if the situation were different… then he made another pass. I pushed him away and then we talked about how his girlfriend won’t be intimate with him… then he tried again after saying that I was “so much more mature” and that he “should be with a girl like [me].” I yelled at him for being a retard and then we talked about how I wouldn’t have just jumped into bed with him if he were single anyway… then he said he was going to bed and that I should join him- just to sleep. I left shaking my head at myself for listening to all of that and secretly enjoying the frustration of it all.

On my way out he apologized for the whole thing, said thank you for helping him realize that he was in the wrong, and begged me not to tell anyone what happened.

…

Needless to say, my bitterness is fresh. And well justified.

Fantasy is one thing… and sexual attraction is going to happen. I’m all for actively exploring your sexuality. I’m also one for experiencing different people and different kinds of relationship dynamics before settling down in a long-term commitment. But this obvious lack of self control all in the name of self-satisfaction is uncalled for. The only thing about this mentality of “what they don’t know won’t hurt them” that is true:

What they don’t know won’t hurt them… it’ll hurt YOU.

With the percentages of people somehow involved with cheating… it is safe to assume that at least 1/3 of us have also been cheated ON. That makes me question every relationship I’ve ever been in… all of them supposedly “committed and faithful.” Let’s just hope that my exes are all smart enough to know that if I EVER find out that they lied to me about their faithfulness I’ll make them cry (again).

Don’t we, as a society, want our relationships to mean something? If it’s just that everyone out there is looking for that perfect stranger sex with no other connection necessary… with no work put into building a bond… where it’s just supposed to fit perfectly without any challenge or effort at all…

NO WONDER WE ARE ALL SO DAMN ALONE.

Our generation needs to learn that there is more to life and love than just instant gratification.

“But my girlfriend/boyfriend cheated on me.”
“I/they were away at college for an extended period of time.”
“She/He treats me like shit. Doesn’t appreciate anything I do.”
“My girl/boy won’t have sex with me.”
“I wanted to break up with her/him… but I just couldn’t bring myself to hurt her/him yet.”

Sounds like you need to deal with your CURRENT situation, instead of trying to escape from it by using someone else and making MORE EFFING DRAMA, YOU EMO BITCHES.

Is it just that there are no “quality” single women/men because they are all so scared of being alone and too lazy to try and find something real that they just settle for the first semi-attractive vagina/penis that comes along? And then they realize what they’ve gotten themselves into… but instead of trying to rectify it and be true to themselves they just chicken shit out and away from conflict because, again, they are so damn lazy and afraid?

Yes, yes… because we’d all rather be miserable with a significant other rather than take on the whole responsibility, being unhappy alone.

…

And just for giggles… have you cheaters ever thought about the “other” person? Don’t you realize that it’s an insult to them as well as you significant other? Oh wait, those are silly questions. Clearly, you don’t think about anyone but yourself.

To all you “other” persons… have you really thought about what your position really is? I mean, cheating is really the best way of saying: “I don’t give a flatulent **** about you because I don’t even care enough to respect my current relationship. But I’ll still use you as a **** holster and then pay no attention to you at all afterwards.”

On the other hand… is it this “other;” this third party’s moral responsibility to respect the relationship of the cheater in question? Is respect an issue… knowing that somewhere there is some clueless **** who is getting a raw deal? Or does their cluelessness excuse you from respecting them?

Furthermore… how can you TRULY be attracted to someone who is attempting to be such a douche?

… Capital G, God damnit, I wish I knew.

Is the practicality of “Oh shit! I could get some from this person I find physically attractive/mentally stimulating” enough to override your OWN self-respect?

Ladies and Gentlemen:
This all boils down to integrity. Strength. Keeping your emo under control. Being in a relationship does not give you the right to turn into a self-centered bitch. Being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t treat you right isn’t a get out of jail free card to act like one either. And lastly… being single, lonely and horny doesn’t excuse the fact that you are contributing to the demoralization of the very thing you wish you had.

http://thatsjustnotright.com

[snafu099]

For the sake of discussion only, not to inflame or start a war:

The conclusions you draw are based on the perception of "current accepted moral values"

For me, from an intellectual view, not necessarily from a practicing one:
Humans have the capacity to love more than just one other and in all aspects of what the word connotates.

I would also ask, what is so wrong with givingrecieving physical pleasure in and of itself

The bonding or joing of 2 or more individuals in a commited relationship should not necessatate forgoing relationships with others.

Ones love and commitment to one does not need to be deminished by love of another

There are societies that exist, and work in harmony, that do not conform to the standards you would set

Love is probably the most powerful force in life, yet we/society tries to limit and curtail how it is manifested. WHY ??

Are we so insecure in our being that we must establish bounds that protect our ego, provide us with a sense of possession of another protected by "social morality" ?

Just some food for thought
Male, age 64 that has lived according to the "social mores" but do not think that they are correct or do the most good for humanity.

[BJ_M]

very good point

[AlecWest]

I think "mating" depends on the person. Some people are like wolves (mate with one for life). Others like variety. To me, the only time morals come into play is if someone (man or woman) makes a promise of fidelity and then breaks that promise. Unfortunately, there are too many people out there who aren't honest with themselves about monogamy ... whether they're for it or against it ... and in not being honest with themselves, end up being dishonest with others.

A person who professes monogamy and practices variety is a liar, plain and simple. And a person who professes variety "cannot" be seen as a cheater ... even by people who become involved with them, certain they can get them to "change their ways."

It has a whole lot less to do with "societal" morality and more to do with personal honesty.

[bazooka]

I am among the majority that doesn't cheat.

[AlecWest]

Brief P.S. - In 2000, I divorced my wife of 20 years and, a year later, tried an experiment. I put up a website "advertising" myself as a potential husband. And, I was brutally honest about a number of things. Interestingly, the only responses I got were "hate mail" (snicker) or "advice" from women who said I should tone down certain remarks.

FWIW, most of the hate mail I got centered around my comment that I wasn't interested in women who defined "sensitivity" as clairvoyance ... that children play mind games and drop guilt trips while adults "communicate." At least from the sampling of hate mail I got, most of the women who responded DO expect their men to be able to "read their minds" as if it's some sort of innate trait men are supposed to have.

But, I suspect that if more people were brutally honest with themselves (and each other), there'd be far fewer relationships ... but the relationships that did come about would be on a firmer foundation.

[AlecWest]

I am among the majority that doesn't cheat.

So was I during my 20-year marriage. Sadly, my ex didn't feel the same way about monogamy ... until about 2 years after our divorce when she wanted to reconcile (and I didn't).