Best Pick Up Line

[Capmaster]

I'd say the success rate of 'how much' is still higher.

Depends on the type of bar, and what sort of a woman you're looking for.

Also, offering to pay ...bad news, but I suspect you're kidding. Hookers take all the thrill of the hunt out of it ...or so I've heard

(Just kidding, dear )

If you're looking for a girl to take home to meet Mom and Dad, first of all, do you really expect to find one hanging out in a bar?

Try the supermarket. It sounds silly, but they all go there and you get to see them how they really are and really will be after you date them for a while ...not prettied up for a night on the town, but wearlig clothes and looking like you're more likely to see them once you get to know them.

Try a single parents' support group, if you don't mind someone with a child already.

And just go up, introduce yourself with "Hi, I'm [your name here] and I'd like to buy you dinner some time. Are you free this weekend?" Nothing like honesty to win her over.

Also, nothing like trickery and lame pickup lines to get you snubbed quickly

Remember those Czech brothers on the early SNL, from Bratislava ...and their lame lines? I always picture them when I think of lame pickup lines

[Ripper2860]

Damn, Cap!

I thought this was a joke thread.

Then you go and get all serious on us.

BTW -- The anaconda thing works -- my wife loves it when I use it on her !!

[ViRaL1]

I'd say the success rate of 'how much' is still higher.

Depends on the type of bar, and what sort of a woman you're looking for.

Also, offering to pay ...bad news, but I suspect you're kidding. Hookers take all the thrill of the hunt out of it ...or so I've heard

(Just kidding, dear )

If you're looking for a girl to take home to meet Mom and Dad, first of all, do you really expect to find one hanging out in a bar?

Try the supermarket. It sounds silly, but they all go there and you get to see them how they really are and really will be after you date them for a while ...not prettied up for a night on the town, but wearlig clothes and looking like you're more likely to see them once you get to know them.

Try a single parents' support group, if you don't mind someone with a child already.

And just go up, introduce yourself with "Hi, I'm [your name here] and I'd like to buy you dinner some time. Are you free this weekend?" Nothing like honesty to win her over.

Also, nothing like trickery and lame pickup lines to get you snubbed quickly

'Nice melons you got there, are they firm?'

'Mmmm, I could really go for a nice sweet peach myself.'

'Do you always come here for your meat?'

(Yeah, I know )

[Capmaster]

Oh yeah, I went and got like Dear Abby there

How about this:

"Hey Blondie - drop the laundry"

[Ripper2860]

Oh yeah, I went and got like Dear Abby there

Don't let that happen again, dammit !!!!

[Capmaster]

Oh yeah, I went and got like Dear Abby there

Don't let that happen again, dammit !!!!

Sorry, sweet-cheeks.

[ZAPPER]

The legend goes like this. My buddy in high school takes a cutie pie for a ride in his new car and winds up at the legendary remote make out spot. He tries his best at an honest attempt at getting freindly with the girl. After awhile he relizes that he is not getting anywhere so he says "Put out or get out." The girl says "Fine if that's the way you want it to be then let me out" My buddy being a young gentelman gets out and walks around the car to open the door for her. In the mean time she locks the door and slides over into the drivers seat and drives off.

This may be a legend for most, but I did have to give my buddy a ride to pick his car up early one morning. He never did have a good enough story to convince me that anything other than the legend above happened. And the rumors came back to me, I didn't start any

[Capmaster]

The legend goes like this. My buddy in high school takes a cutie pie for a ride in his new car and winds up at the legendary remote make out spot. He tries his best at an honest attempt at getting freindly with the girl. After awhile he relizes that he is not getting anywhere so he says "Put out or get out." The girl says "Fine if that's the way you want it to be then let me out" My buddy being a young gentelman gets out and walks around the car to open the door for her. In the mean time she locks the door and slides over into the drivers seat and drives off.

This may be a legend for most, but I did have to give my buddy a ride to pick his car up early one morning. He never did have a good enough story to convince me that anything other than the legend above happened. And the rumors came back to me, I didn't start any

Sounds like your buddy got what he deserved

And Ripper .....that last comment I made didn't sit well this morning . Nothing personal, but

[Ripper2860]

The legend goes like this. My buddy in high school takes a cutie pie for a ride in his new car and winds up at the legendary remote make out spot. He tries his best at an honest attempt at getting freindly with the girl. After awhile he relizes that he is not getting anywhere so he says "Put out or get out." The girl says "Fine if that's the way you want it to be then let me out" My buddy being a young gentelman gets out and walks around the car to open the door for her. In the mean time she locks the door and slides over into the drivers seat and drives off.

This may be a legend for most, but I did have to give my buddy a ride to pick his car up early one morning. He never did have a good enough story to convince me that anything other than the legend above happened. And the rumors came back to me, I didn't start any

Sounds like your buddy got what he deserved

And Ripper .....that last comment I made didn't sit well this morning . Nothing personal, but

What comment?????

[Capmaster]

Sorry, sweet-cheeks

[Ripper2860]

Hey, Cap...

Along with the single parent workshops -- I've found hangin out in teen chatrooms masquerading as a young boy who was just dumped by his girlfriend and is heart-broken to be quite effective.

Be sure to bring a hankerchief and chloroform on your 1st "date" though.




BTW -- JUST IN CASE ...

the above is a joke -- as in not serious. It may be tasteless to some, but a joke none-the-less. I do not do the above nor would I ever condone someone doing it. It takes a sick mind for someone to do something such as that which I have described -- but only a tasteless individual to joke about it.

[Capmaster]

I've found hangin out in teen chatrooms masquerading as a young boy who was just dumped by his girlfriend and is heart-broken to be quite effective

Just don't submit your pic. The crow's feet and goatee would give you away

[ViRaL1]

Here here!

[Ripper2860]

I've found hangin out in teen chatrooms masquerading as a young boy who was just dumped by his girlfriend and is heart-broken to be quite effective

Just don't submit your pic. The crow's feet and goatee would give you away

Don't you worry about that ...


...I've learned quite a bit from the master since the "Calypso" incident!

[ZAPPER]

Hey, Cap...

Along with the single parent workshops -- I've found hangin out in teen chatrooms masquerading as a young boy who was just dumped by his girlfriend and is heart-broken to be quite effective.

Be sure to bring a hankerchief and chloroform on your 1st "date" though.




BTW -- JUST IN CASE ...

the above is a joke -- as in not serious. It may be tasteless to some, but a joke none-the-less. I do not do the above nor would I ever condone someone doing it. It takes a sick mind for someone to do something such as that which I have described -- but only a tastelss individual to joke about it.

It's a shame when you have to have a disclaimer with every post

[Capmaster]

No kidding :P

[Ripper2860]

Hey, Cap...

Along with the single parent workshops -- I've found hangin out in teen chatrooms masquerading as a young boy who was just dumped by his girlfriend and is heart-broken to be quite effective.

Be sure to bring a hankerchief and chloroform on your 1st "date" though.




BTW -- JUST IN CASE ...

the above is a joke -- as in not serious. It may be tasteless to some, but a joke none-the-less. I do not do the above nor would I ever condone someone doing it. It takes a sick mind for someone to do something such as that which I have described -- but only a tastelss individual to joke about it.

It's a shame when you have to have a disclaimer with every post

Yeah, I know. I was thinking of just making it my signature line. Saves a lot of typing.

[Capmaster]

You could try that Ripper. And also, I can vouch for your morals and character.

Wait .... ....that might not help you ....

[ViRaL1]

It's a shame when people are too thick to tell the difference between what you'll say and what you'll do.

[Guest]

Seen in OT (but I can't find the link).

Does this handkerchief smell like chloroform to you?

Youre not allergic to Ruphies are you?

We were at this crowded bar in the Village a few years back There was this chick standing behind us with really lowriding jeans.You could see her butt crack. My buddy had his back to her.He dropped a few ice cubes down her crack. She wigged out but had no way to figure out who did it. I kept a pokerface until I could get the bathroom.I almost pissed myself

[the bomb]

Is Capmaster and Ripper the first gay couple on the OT?
( not that theres anything wrong with that )

[Ripper2860]

Is Capmaster and Ripper the first gay couple on the OT?
( not that theres anything wrong with that )

And here I thought we were freinds. Now I've gone from a God to Gay Lover ????

BTW -- the 1st was was actually TGPO and Capmaster. I would never do anything to break-up such a cute couple.

[ViRaL1]

First one I've seen, or at least first out.

[ZAPPER]

Is Capmaster and Ripper the first gay couple on the OT?
( not that theres anything wrong with that )

I hope that you mean "Gay" as in happy. Otherwise I would have to say that there is something wrong with that

[ViRaL1]

Is there a such thing as a 'happy couple?'

[the bomb]

Of course I meant happy!

[ZAPPER]

Is there a such thing as a 'happy couple?'

Just until the newness wears off

[bazooka]

I grew up with two coaches in the ways of women - my identical twin sisters who are 5 years older than me.

Had to read that twice.

Get your mind out of the gutter They offered advice.

That would make a very good Jerry Springer show.

[tekkieman]

Ok, enough of this crap. If you want to find someone for the long haul, it has to be one that hunts you (Cap will back me up on this one). Usually acting pitiful works.

If you're just looking for a quick wick dip, I usually go with... "Honey, I'm giving out free samples tonight, but you're only allowed to taste the first 8 inches".

[Ripper2860]

If you're just looking for a quick wick dip, I usually go with... "Honey, I'm giving out free samples tonight, but you're only allowed to taste the first 8 inches".

... and then you proceed to give her 2 helpings ??